Home discussion Lifestyle Discussions Getting Started Help! . . Am I doing/saying the right things?

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    • #9459
      wannabee

        Hi everyone,

        As you can see I’m new here and I can honestly say that I’m so glad to find a platform that’s not just porn and liars but honest men and women in the same frame of mind as myself.

         

        I’d love to hear from others like me who are still in the process of convincing the wife to cuckold them or from people who have just had their first adventures. I’d like to hear especially from the lady members who may be able to give me advice from a woman’s point of view.

         

        I’m 44 and my wife Melissa is 33 and we’ve been together 14 years and married for 4. Melissa comes from quite a conservative family background has strong moral values and takes her vows very seriously.

         

        For as far back in our relationship as I can remember I have wanted to see her with another man. I never approached the subject with her until about two years ago when one weekend we’d had a few drinks together and I told her that my secret fantasy was to see her kissing someone else. (I didn’t mention her having sex with them as I wanted to test the water). She just laughed it off and said I was crazy so I left it at that.

         

        The next weekend her best friend Danielle was over at our house and at one point during the evening Melissa said to Danielle, “Alan’s fantasy is to see me kissing another guy” to which Danielle replied, “Lucky you!”. That gave me a little bit of hope that Danielle might encourage Melissa.

         

        After a girls night out last year Melissa came home and told me that her and Danielle shared their cab home with a guy who they new who lived nearby. Danielle was home first which left Melissa in the cab with the guy who was being dropped off next. When the cab stopped at his house he leaned over to kiss Melissa but she jokingly told him of saying she was a married woman. I was disappointed at this but when Danielle phoned Melissa to make sure she got home ok I overheard Melissa telling her about the attempted kiss and saying, “if only I hadn’t been married”, which I took to be another positive sign.

         

        On a few recent occasions when Danielle has been in our house and Melissa has been out of earshot I’ve told Danielle to get Melissa a boyfriend when they’re out together and Danielle has said she’ll do her best if the right guy comes along.

         

        Please consider the following points. Melissa:

        • Has strong moral values
        • Is very outgoing and approachable
        • Is quite beautiful and in great shape
        • Is often chatted up by other guys
        • Is not very open to the subject of other men

         

        I don’t know what my next move should be but have considered having a Christmas party and asking her friend to bring along a couple of guys they may like. I just don’t want to push things incase I turn her right off the idea.

        Your views and advice would be very welcome.

      • #10642
        LuvsItWet

          In my very humble opinion, you need to be much more open with your wife. 

           

          If the two of you can’t talk freely about your fantasies, your chances of turning them real are pretty remote.  You don’t have to hit her over the head with the whole thing but you certainly need to lay it out on the table a little faster than you have so far.  The oblique route you are taking, innuendos, hints, vague comments to her girlfriend, all are likely to lead to miscommunications and misunderstandings. 

           

          Suck it up and make your move.  Otherwise, you’ll just forever live up to your nickname. 

           

          Good luck. 

        • #10643
          wannabee

            Luvsitwet, I agree with you to a certain extent. I realise now that I should talk a lot more freely with my wife. I’ve moved things at a snail’s pace so far but intend to step the pace up a bit more without showing my desparation. Like you say, I won’t hit her over the head with it but a gentle push in the right direction won’t hurt. More opportunities should arise for her over the festive period with Christmas partys and such so I’ll keep everyone informed of any progress.

          • #10687
            bazram

              Tell her how much you want her to enjoy other men and reassure her that you aren’t seeking to cheat on her then praise and encourage any interest she shows in other men. It requires patience but it is worth it. There is nothing to compare with the feelings of another man having the woman you love and adore.

              In my experience most women can become open to this in the right circumstance, almost all of our female friends have had other lovers while married. I’m pretty sure its the natural way of things.

            • #10707
              hotwifehubby

                I am sort of in the same boat.. although my wife is already a “Hotwife,” but she seems to have lost some of the fire for it lately…

              • #10710
                LuvsItWet

                  There’s an ebb and flow of our wives sex lives.  Weekly around work and weekends, monthly around her natural cycle, yearly around holidays and vacations.  Kids and school affect them, other family and their problems affect them.   As the hubby in the picture, we are sometimes too closely involved to see the pattern.  All we know is that she is, or isn’t, as sexually active at some times as she is at others.  Maybe we can free her up for more special time with her other man/men.  Take the kids camping for the weekend.  Offer to do the shopping more often.  Look into a maid service to take over some of the household chores.  Have a talk with her mother about giving her some space.  Buy her a week at the spa.  The idea is to free her up to be the  sexual creature that you know she is. 

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