I am in desperate need of GOOD advice

I am a fifty one year old white male married to the love of my life. She is 46. I have had strong cuckold feelings for well over a decade. <y fantasies are NOT porn related at all. I dont watch porn or read cuck erotica. Mine are truly grounded in my emotions. The problem is that while my wife and I have great communication and have a very strong marriage, bringing this kink up to her has been impossible. I have outlined what I want to say. Printed out articles by actual therapists etc from reputable (ie; not porn) sites, and rehearsed this many times, and every time I freeze and end up not saying a word. DO I think if I broach the subject she will “freak out”? No. Am I still afraid? Yup!
So, what I am looking for is an actual couple who is active in this lifestyle that I can chat with and ask questions. I definitely want to speak with both the cuck hubby and the hotwife/cuckoldress so that i can see both sides.
Bulls, if you are sincere and understand that I am only asking for advice at this point, you are welcome to also reach out and chat.
Please message me here or email me at dualingfates344@gmail.com