Reluctant Cuckold

Ok, I will give you as much detail as I can about my previous experience in this kind of relationship. Just to give you a visual, my wife is 5’1″ and weighs about 100lbs. Blond hair, green eyes. She is and A cup (if that). Most folks would say she is very cute.

My ex-wife and I decided to experiment with ‘role reversal’ about seven years ago at her urging. She was a natural. Very smart and highly educated (phd), she made all of the important decisions; financial control, control over the social calendar, what we were going to do as a family and when. She delegated the menial housework, usually gaining my promise to do these chores by manipulating my sexual release. She started by making me ask for permission before orgasming during intercourse, and she would make me agree to certain things before saying yes. I was not really submissive at the beginning, but she subjugated me more and more over time.
She took delight in letting her girlfriends in on the fact that she ‘wore the pants’ in our relationship, and not always in a discreet way, either. I can remember a number of occasions when she humiliated me in front of others by subtly disclosing that she was in charge. I confess to you that I liked the way that made me feel.

Naturally, she was also the decision maker in the bedroom. She gave me a release schedule; under normal circumstances she would let me come once a week (in the beginning) and once every two months (toward the end). She printed out a schedule and posted it on the refrigerator (despite my protest), designating my orgasm day with a big red O on the scheduled day, for all to see. It served as a constant reminder of who was in control. On days when an orgasm wasn’t scheduled I would usually massage her and give her oral if that’s what she told me to do. Sometimes she would permit me to enter her, but that was rare. I was never allowed to come inside her, and I couldn’t usually stay inside her for more than a minute before needing to come. Prior to our ‘arrangement’ our sex life was quite normal and I didn’t have any problems with stamina. She conditioned me to be fast, and considered it an insult if it took me more than a minute.

She introduced a chastity cage for me about three years ago after catching me masturbating. That really served to deepen my submission to her. No matter what the circumstance I would always have to ask her for permission to come. The answer was usually no, unless it was orgasm day. Depending on my behavior or her mood, she would postpone or cancel orgasm day. For example, if we were at a party and I said something in front of others that annoyed her, she would cancel the next orgasm day, or, even worse, tell me that I didn’t have permission to come on orgasm day when I asked (begged) her for permission. As for the actual release, toward the end it was always supervised masturbation. She liked to have me kneel behind her, kissing her perky ass while I masturbated. I was timed, and usually given a minute to reach climax. When ready (mostly before I was even fully hard) I’d ask her for permission, and if she said yes I’d be instructed to come into the palm of her outstretched hand. This was the most intimate act of love for me; I felt so close to her during these moments, with her controlling the most intimate, personal act and humiliating me. I can’t adequately explain how I felt here. It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. I know that this act was also a tremendous turn on for her; she loved the power and control. She would always make me service her orally right after cumming into her hand (after locking me back up). Parenthetically, she also had a strap on that she would make me wear on occasion to give her penetrative intercourse while locked in chastity. These practices allowed her to maintained complete control.

I wasn’t her ‘slave’, per se, but I never second guessed her decisions or failed to do something when asked to do it (well, almost never). She was an expert at FLR. Inevitably she felt like she needed to have a sexual encounter with a ‘real man’. I have to give her credit, she didn’t sneak around behind my back (to my knowledge), but one day she just told me that she was going to have sex with someone who could last for more than 30 seconds inside her (which was ironic because she didn’t want me to last more than 30 seconds…). I didn’t feel like I could do anything about it. I loved her and I wanted more than anything for her to be pleased. She also informed me that I would not be allowed to do the same; i.e. take a lover for myself. I would remain committed and loyal to her alone, otherwise she would leave me. A relationship developed between her and a co-worker. I was extremely jealous and struggled and had a hard time coping with her affair. She didn’t try to hide any aspect of it from me. On several occasions he even slept over while I was made to sleep in the guest room, where I could hear how well he satisfied her. She loved making me listen to her love making. The first time it happened she asked me the next morning if I could hear how good he made her feel. It was so humiliating, but, at the same time, I was hard. She had me right where she wanted me. After he left she brought me back up to the bedroom and gave me all the details, with my head in her hands soothing her sore spot with my tongue. It was then that she informed me that I would no longer be entering her because her boyfriend would not allow it. I’m ashamed to admit that I think that was the most erotic experience I’ve ever had.

After about six months I think she fell in love with him, and she was done with me. She filed for divorce and ended our 20 years of marriage. Even after the divorce I begged her to maintain control over my sexual release, promising to abide by any schedule she set for me. I still wanted to serve her in some capacity. She told me that I’m should get professional help because it’s not normal for a man to want to be so submissive. I thought that was pretty cruel given that she played the part of the dominant so well. I know she loved it. I still see her occasionally (totally platonic), and I still can’t say no to her.

My greatest desire as a submissive man is to rediscover the feelings that I experienced when I was serving a woman who was certain that she was in complete control of every aspect of our relationship; feelings I had when I know I pleased her; feelings I had when she admonished me; feelings I had when I heard the word ‘NO’; and feelings I had when I heard the word ‘yes’. I am willing to work very hard to find that place again, because it’s where I truly belong.

seawarrior