Marriage Evolved › discussion › Lifestyle Discussions › Getting Started › Struggling with fantasy of seeing my wife with someone else
-
AuthorPosts
-
-
Tina_curious_gf
ParticipantAugust 31, 2025 at 1:10 pmPost count: 1I’ve been struggling with something in my marriage and would love some perspective.
My wife and I are in our late 30s from India, and while our relationship is strong, I sometimes feel I’m not fully able to satisfy her in bed the way I’d like to. Lately, I’ve been having strong urges and fantasies about seeing her with another man — not in a purely voyeuristic way, but more from the desire to see her truly pleasured and enjoying herself.
I haven’t shared this openly with her yet, but in small ways I’ve tried to boost her confidence and get her more comfortable expressing her sensual side (asking her to dress sexily, encouraging us to go out more, etc.). In the past, there was a situation at a wedding where I noticed she could be open to attention, though it never went further. It was at my Brother-in-law’s wedding where his Boss was showing a lot in intrest in her and i noticed that. So, I sidelined myself to see where things go. She was very cautious with how she behaves althought she did started liking him. I felt a weird kink grow inside me and started imagining him and her in intimate poses. Though, it stayed limited to a little soft flirting, some dancing together in cocktail party and some soft groping/hugging while dancing. One thing which I realised was that she too wants attention and intimacy and also wants attention. I do think that with right amount of push and a nice third, she might just go ahead with my fantacy.
What I really want is for this to feel organic and genuine — not something I’m forcing or pushing her into, but something she would actually want if the right opportunity and attraction were there. I’m nervous about how to even bring this up without making her feel pressured..
So my questions are:
Am I doing the right thing by working behind the scens and making things happen?
Also, should i work with the third and execute a plan without her knowledge and see if she takes the bait?
Are there safe communities or apps where people explore this kind of lifestyle (if it ever got to that point)?
Any advice from people who have been through something similar — or just general wisdom — would be really appreciated.
-
diya555555
ParticipantSeptember 4, 2025 at 8:56 amPost count: 1U are in beginning stage brother…just wait patiently..and tell ur thoughts to ur wife..u will get succes
-
suburbanhotwifemom
ParticipantSeptember 9, 2025 at 5:17 amPost count: 1Make it organically happen is tough, especially if she is unaware. You need to be upfront with the desire. She needs to know its ok and you support it
-
Cathy & Jerry
ParticipantSeptember 9, 2025 at 10:37 amPost count: 249Take it slow, don’t push it on her or it will backfire. As was mentioned, be honest with her. Take her to a nice dinner and hold her hand and tell her how much you love her and how you feel that she deserves so much more than what you can provide to her in the way of sex and intimacy. Explain that you have no desires to play with anyone else, you just feel it would be so wonderful for her to have a lover, someone who can make her feel desired, give her the orgasms she deserves. If you take it slow and guide her gently into the arms of a great lover, you’ll finally get to enjoy the excitement of knowing that she’s regularly in the arms and bed of a better man, and spreading her legs for him without worrying that she’s doing something wrong.
-
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.