True story first timer

Hello so i live in middle east where manythings are taboo which is sexy

I met my girlfriend like 4 years ago ,and i already liked novelty and had bisexual encouters and she was bisexual too.

We started talking about cuckolding after she caught my chat with a dominatrix which i had an encouter with.after that i explained to her that i like to do weird stuff and i seek novelty and i was embarresed to tell her.

From there we started exploring our sexuality (after forgiving me ) and i promised all my fetishes will be talked to her 😂.

So she started dominating me and ci confessed to her that id like to try being a cuckold while im on chastity.

First experience (no sex):was the best ,she went and had a drink with a friend she used to have sex with after the drink ,they went in the car and she called me and hid her phone while she was kissing him and playing with her pussy i imediatly cummed like crazy it was like a drug,wow,we met the next day and had awesome sex.

2nd experience first time with sex :she talked to me about her ex like 7 years ago and told me he is talking to her and told me he is married and wont be a pain in the ass just fuck buddies ,i liked the idea especially that she told me his cock didnt use to fit in her.

Aftet like 1 year from the first experience we did this 2nd experience ,and i was expecting her to call ,she told me before leaving that it may be hard to call since she suggested sex while i watch and he didnt like the idea and was against it since hes married,soo she told me when she arrived and no call ,no voice note no videos no nothing ,but texted me telling me shes enjoying it too much ,and is in pain .

I replied that im not ok eith her not calling and im not happy ,she left and came and apologized.

I dunno i feel weird and uncomfortable of what happened especially that i have trust issues simce i beleive no person is monogomus and people cant be satisfied with one partner.

Btw this is all while it is my first day in chastity and she didnt let me cum which is hot.

She came and told me that she had an amazing sex and that her pussy is swollen and i cant fuck her cuz shes in pain and told me he made her cum 4 times and teased her,and that she was soo in the moment and fount it hard to record or call.

My question :would you leave your girlfriend and lifestyle if trust is kinda broken,how do u deal with emotions ?do u loose self respect ?

Sorry for the long article im kinda new snd this is the only place i have read stuff and can open up.
And do u think its healthier long term if only aex when im there

Thank you ❤️