Wife admits she loves us “differently”

Cathy has been with her lover for just over 6 years. Last December she told me that she was very much in love with him and hoped that I wouldn’t be upset about it. If I didn’t want it to continue she would stop seeing him. I had to think about it for a few days but I came to the conclusion that during those months prior to her talking to me about it, they had been showing much more closeness and when they stayed at our home instead of his and that I didn’t think anything negative about it at all. I would listen in on their love making and I could tell that there was a difference in what I was hearing, they were being so much more passionate rather than just “fucking”, which I thought was great. I also thought about how they interacted in front of me, showing more closeness and kissing more passion instead of just grabbing and groping as they kissed. They were definitely “in love” and after all this thinking I decided that I would be a fool to break them up because Cathy would have been sad and not very fun to be around. Also, I know that she would have never wanted to do this again because she would be afraid of falling in love again only to have me end it. Really, it’s been a great thing for all of us. I have so much compersion for these two and it excites me to see her so happy to be with him, to watch her eyes dart back and forth looking him in the eyes as he hugs her before they kiss. It’s only inevitable that your wife will fall in love if the man she’s seeing is a good lover, shows his passion for her as he’s giving her the sexual, sensual passion she desires and deserves, and there’s no reason why a woman can’t be in love with two men. The best thing to do is to take a good look at how happy your wife is and decide what you would and wouldn’t accept in their relationship, keeping her needs and desires in mind – after all, this isn’t about us as cuckolds, it’s about our wives. Keep the discussion calm and if you feel it’s necessary, make any rules known and put down on paper and talk about them, and discuss what will happen if the rules are broken or at least, be sure that if they want to break a rule, it should be discussed with all three of you first. Cathy’s lover and I are very good friends, much like brothers. We go fishing together and work on cars and our homes together, like brothers or good friends would do.

Hey man, I hear you, and it’s wild how our journeys can have so many parallels yet feel so unique. I totally get the mix of emotions you’re describing—my wife and I have been in a similar dynamic for a while now, with her having four regular bulls and occasionally hooking up with others. Her body count’s over 80, and yeah, at the start, the jealousy and discomfort hit hard. It was a rollercoaster, questioning everything, feeling that knot in my stomach. But over time, I came to see it differently.

What helped me was realizing that our love, our bond as soulmates, and our family—two kids, a home we’ve built—none of that changes because of her physical connections. It’s like you said with Linda: the love you share is unbreakable, even if her body belongs to Dean in that way. I’ve learned to focus on the intimacy we still share—whether it’s emotional, like our late-night talks, or even the small moments, like when she’s just “Family Linda” for you. For me, it’s about cherishing the moments I get with her, even if they’re not sexual.

It sounds like you’re adjusting to Dean’s role and the boundaries Linda’s set. That’s huge. It’s not easy to let go of the physical side or deal with the changes, like the spare bedroom nights. I’ve had similar moments where I had to step back, and yeah, it stings sometimes. But I found that open communication—like your Friday night chat—helps a lot. Maybe keep talking with Linda about how you’re feeling, especially about Dean’s expectations. It sounds like she’s trying to balance everyone’s needs, but if Dean’s pushing for more control, it might be worth a calm check-in to make sure you’re all on the same page.

Also, props for finding some humor in it—getting that handjob last weekend, lol, small victories, right? For me, I’ve found peace in focusing on my own role in her life. I love and respect her choices, and seeing her happy, fulfilled, and confident is worth it. It’s not always easy, but it’s our dynamic, and I’ve grown to embrace it. If you ever want to swap stories or tips on navigating this, I’m here. Keep loving her, man—it’s clear you do.

Hey man,
Damn, that sounds intense—thanks for sharing the update. The shift from family Fridays to her heading straight to Dean’s after work must’ve hit hard, especially with the radio silence on texts. I’ve been there with Priya; early on, she’d go silent during hookups, and it felt like an eternity, stirring up all kinds of anxiety. But the way you handled it, giving her space until Sunday, shows how committed you are to this dynamic and her happiness. That’s huge.
The “Sir” thing and serving him drinks/snacks? It’s a clear step into that ownership/submission territory she mentioned. Priya’s dominant like that too—she’s got me greeting her four bulls (and 60+ randoms) at home, serving them drinks, cleaning creampies from her pussy and ass, and even sucking their dicks while locking eyes with her (that smirk she gives? Gets me every time). At first, the humiliation and awkwardness were overwhelming, especially as a straight guy, but it’s become part of what makes our bond stronger. She keeps me caged, lets me have sex once a week on Sundays, and I love fulfilling her every need. If Linda’s setting ground rules now, it might feel like your world’s flipping without warning, but talk it out with her—ask what these rules mean for you both long-term. Maybe start small, like non-sexual service to Dean, to ease into it and build trust.
You’re not fully on board yet with her submission to him, and that’s valid—communication’s key to make sure it works for your marriage. Sounds like she’s all in, and if you can find a way to embrace your role (like I have), it could bring you closer. Hang in there; you’ve got this because your love for her shines through. How are you feeling about the new rules? Spill if you want—here for you, buddy.