So what’s the difference, anyway?
A hotwife marriage compares to cuckold marriage as a bull does to a Dom; that is, a hotwife marriage is more often focused simply on the sex whereas a cuckold marriage more deeply explores the emotional, mental and sexual aspects of extending the marriage sexually.
Just as men will enter this lifestyle first as bulls then grow into a role as a Dom if they have the necessary intellect, personality, and physical traits, couples more often start out as a hotwife couple and develop into a cuckold couple over time given certain qualities:
- trust
- communication
- emotional maturity
It’s not uncommon for couples to become a bit ‘stuck’ as a hotwife couple because they have difficulty overcoming doubt, anxiety or ego. Some of these couples find their way here and get help, others struggle along on their own and eventually build those bridges to continue their journey.
Those who actively protest something the loudest are often the ones most interested in it. If you don’t like it, don’t bring it up.
Then there are those who will actively protest the ideas inherent to cuckold marriage. From time to time I’ll find such a couple in the chatroom; most often it’s the husband who loves having someone else fuck his wife while he watches, but he’s certain he’s not a cuckold. This is what we call denial – or simply an inability to square his desires with his ego and self-identity. For women it’s often the idea of accepting a role as a sexual object; the feeling they are being that “slut” they always accused other women of being. For men, it’s admitting not only to themselves, but to their wife that not having control of her sexuality or even his own, is exciting and somehow rewarding.
Just to be clear, I’m not saying that a hotwife marriage isn’t as valid as a cuckold marriage just as I wouldn’t say that a bull has less or no value as compared to a Dom. Couples in a hotwife marriage who are content with it generally don’t find a need to tear down the couples who do enjoy a cuckold marriage. When I see that behavior, I often find traits that indicate this need to deny the obvious truth with regard to ego conflict. Each couple’s journey down this path is unique to them in terms of what aspects apply and how deeply they are explored, but what all lifestyle couples share is an acceptance of who they are to each other and to those with whom they interact with within the lifestyle. This honesty with themselves and each other is key to long term enjoyment of the lifestyle.
And that is my $.02 for the day.
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For us, things simple evolved from affair to hotwife to cuckoldry. Small steps and plenty of communication allowed us to continually evolve towards this wonderful cuckold lifestyle.
We’re currently on a hotwife stage. It’s a little bit difficult for us to become a 100% cuckold marriage since we are distanced and we both enjoy our Skype chats a lot more than her dating in this phase of our marriage. I’m not sure Miau Miau will want to evolve into a full cuckold stage, but our marriage is still very young and there’s an enormous amount of trust between us. I would certainly enjoy being a full cuckold, with her bringing a boyfriend into our nest and denying me coitus in order to favor him. I think our dynamics can reach that point but not for now, as we still have to live together and enjoy this part of our game.
Even though I am not really endowed, my wife’s always very happy to fuck me and is always stating our sex is the best sex she’s ever had. Every time I bring the ‘I have a small cock’ issue, she rolls her eyes up and says “sweetie, you don’t have a small dick, and even though I know you’d love to have one, that’s not reality. I can’t say you have a small dick ’cause it’s not true’. But I’m hoping we will be able to find an attractive man with a cock she won’t get enough of sometime soon.
I am very happy wearing my chastity cage and knowing my wife has dates in Paris while I’m in Mexico City, but I think this will get way more interesting once we’re together for good.
Best!
Mr M
We have gradually over time changed our normal conventional marriage into a Cukold Marriahe. She does not allow her lover to become Dom, since she is the one who will be in control. Emotionally we are very much attached to each other, and she is taking her lovers mostly for sex, there might a little more than that, I cant be sure
She doesnt take more than one lover at anytime, only after she breaks up with one, she will take another lover. The present lover is her Bull, since a little more than 2 years and She has decoded that He wil be the biological father of our first child. I am in complete agreement with her, because of his superior intelligence, physical build, strength etc
Cuckold vs. HotWife , I think I would go with the cuck , a friend who lives a couple of houses away did the hotwife thing and never knew where she was and was a source or serious conflict for them . I found out the bull was the problem .
We personally find a great deal of benefit to the Hotwife Lifestyle but neither of us have any desire to morph into a relationship controlled by another person, man or woman. It certainly makes sense that a Cuckold relationship could develop from a Hotwife relationship under certain circumstances. Especially if the couple have specific dom/sub personalities or their sex drives are extremely divergent.
I understand that many powerful executives feel the need to be dominated sexually as a counter weight to their enormous responsibility. I’ve probably experienced some taste of that myself when it comes to sitting back and letting another man satisfy my wife’s needs. Like everything else in the world of psychology and sociology, I think it can all be plotted on the Bell Curve. Some being into total monogamy, and some into complete cuckoldry but with most somewhere in the middle.
We may in fact at some point develop into a Cuckold relationship if my ability to perform were to disintegrate and in fact she has a guy who really satisfies her needs. Me and my cock really hope that’s not going to be the case.
Why I feel it’s important to make these points is that there are probably a lot of guys on this and other sites exploring the possibilities. It’s very therapeutic to see other peoples thoughts and experiences as we try to find our way in a post dark ages world of sexuality. I think the parallel to marijuana is evident. It could lead to other things as a gateway drug but it may just be a drug of choice.