Reply To: My Story (The Road to Acceptance: Where is it heading?)

After my conversation with my wife’s ex I knew I needed to have a serious conversation with my wife. On a weekend when her kids were with him and mine were not at our house (even though that seems to be less and less) I told my wife we needed to talk. I told her I had a long conversation with her ex and I knew everything that happened that weekend. I needed to know some things from her. She agreed to answer my questions. I was nervous for what the answers could be so I started slow. Did she enjoy fucking flirting with other guys out in public like she did that weekend? Yes
Did she like being felt up and showing her tits in that bar, with the guy watching? Yes
Did she enjoy getting fucked by the young guy with her ex that weekend? Yes
I knew I had to ask the harder questions.
When her ex asked her if she would marry him again, what did she say? She said she laughed at him, that she was married to me.
If she was not married to me, would she consider it? She paused looking at me and said, yes she would have considered it (I felt like she stabbed me in the heart) but she knew it would never work out and she would have said no. (I guess that made me feel a little better.)
Does she want another baby? She said she does not know for sure, but for now, she does not.
Would she want his baby? (This was the hardest question for me to ask.) She admitted that was a hard question to answer. She has two beautiful children with him. She knows I really do not want any more kids of my own. Besides, she would prefer that another child would not be a half sibling if she had one with me.
But what if I decided I wanted a baby with her? She said if she felt like having another child and I wanted one, she would have one with me.
What about the half sibling thing? She said she loved me and if that is what we both wanted it would be okay. (It made me feel a little better but I had doubts.)
Why did she only laugh at his suggestion? Why did she not say no? This is where she paused and I could tell she was uncomfortable.
I need to know I said. Don’t be mad, she said, but it took her by surprise. Here she was naked, they had just fucked, his semen in her. They were reliving their honeymoon. There was a thrill to it, a reminder of the first time they decided to get pregnant. Did she want another baby, did she want him to impregnate her, how could that work?? She just couldn’t respond, she was in shock, so she laughed?
If he asked her now, what would she say? No
(Did I believe her? I do but do I think she could change her mind? I am not sure.)
Do you still want him fucking you, I asked? To continue to be in our sex lives? Yes
And she asked me the same, did I want to continue with him? There has been advice on here that I should end the relationship with him, that it will destroy our marriage. But inviting another man into our bed, letting him fuck my wife, doesn’t that threaten our marriage? Sex brings intimacy and emotions, especially in a long term relationship.
So I asked her if she loved him? She said yes, (that was definitely an honest answer). But she said she loved me as her husband, her life partner. She had loved him, married him, had kids with him, things she could not just forget. But the love for him was not the same as the love for me. Yes she realizes that bringing him into our bed that she did still love him and loves being fucked my him, having intimacy with him. But she wants to be with me. If I asked her to stop she would, with no regrets. Did I want this to stop?
For those who feel differently please don’t be upset, but I told her no, I did not want it to stop. I liked him, I wanted him in our lives and in our bed.