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M.Stratoss
Hi Luvr!
I need your help!!!
Here’s our situation from the start of it:I`m 27. She’s 28. Been together for about 4 years. Not married, but were in a long-term relationship. No kids. I am an average guy. She’s extremely hot Russian girl. Tall, slim, brunette. Pretty much 10 out of 10.
Both of us are professionals (lawyer/accountant – office jobs/above average income level). I know that before me she used to date much older guys (most were 37+).
One day (2 years ago) she returned from work (I was home already at that time), and I wanted to play with her. So pretty much right from the moment she came home I followed her into the bedroom (where we usually undressed and changed clothing after work). She started saying no and pushing me away. I thought she was actually just playing it up so I actually lifted her up and threw her (in a gentle manner of course) onto the bed. She was still in her office clothing (blouse/skirt, etc). As she landed onto the bed her skirt obviously lifted up and my jaw virtually dropped when I realized that she did not have any underwear (except for stockings which is fine as she always wears stockings).
The absence of panties got me really angry and upset especially given the fact that her explanation of the situation was pretty lame (and I saw her putting underwear on before work).
She said that she had to remove them as they became stained with her period and that it was no big deal blah blah blah. (her cycle was not due until following week).
Of course I made it perfectly clear that I did not believe a single word of what she was saying. We had a massive fight and didnt speak for like a week or so.
Next month I went away for work. Spent about 1.5 month overseas. Came back and went out with friends for a beer. After having some drinks a good friend of mine in the heat of the moment told me that one weekend (when I was away) he saw her at a nightclub with her boss. He told me that she realized that he saw her. So she came up to him to say hi and explained that apparently they had work-do and it was one of her co-workers. Then my friend told me that they left the nightclub pretty much within 10 minutes of him seeing her there. He was 99% sure that he had seen her jumping into his car and driving of somewhere. Another guy I knew (bar tender at that nightclub) confirmed this.
Of course I got extremely mad at her especially when she started telling me that everyone lied to me and that she never went out when I was away etc. Next day I got sick (probably because of my anger at her) and while she was away I actually was able to break into her laptop (she had password on it). And yeah… that was the turning point. I found her page on dating website and tonnes of personal skype messages to and from her boss.
Now I have to emphasize that, unfortunately, I cannot say that I have Godzilla sex drive. To be completely honest, I can only keep it up for like 3-4 minutes (I do prefer masturbation for that reason). And I thought a number of times that I have to see a doctor to get this issue resolved as I do enjoy sexual intimacy (but I am often to busy at work to allow time for doctors).
She has complained a number of times in the past and called me “inadequate lover” (we had many fights over this). On one occasion she even said that I should be happy she still with me because another woman would have already left me for another lover. And, at one stage during our fight she said that if I still cant keep up with her sex drive she would start looking for lovers. This was said in the heat of the moment so I did not really pay much attention to this.
Now, back to me reading her computer messages. One particular message completely wiped me out. In that message she was telling her boss that I went down on her one day after they had sex at work and that it was so erotic etc because she thought I would did not realize the obvious. And she actually wrote to him: “cuckold cant see his horns!”
I did not pay much attention to this (in fact, I`ve never even heard this term in the past).
Anyway, all those private messages and her dating website page totally killed me and I decided to break up with her.
Later that date we had a chat and she admitted that she could not resist her boss as he was her type: much older (he was 44…), financially secure, tall, big and muscular and a partner in a big law firm. However, she said that she still loves me, but I cannot please her sexual etc
So I left her. I cannot say that I was turned on by her doing this to me. In fact I was disgusted and hated every bit of her and her boss. It very difficult because her office was like 2 buildings away from my. And for some time after we broke up I actually seen her have lunches with her boss.
It was too difficult for me so I found another job and moved to another city. I missed her like hell and started to realize that I might have overreacted to the whole situation. Then, about 6 month ago, I came across an article on a website about cuckolding and remembered that it was that term by which she referred to me. So I began reading more and more about it and realized that there are other guys who actually enjoyed it and that I am not the first one who was cheated.
So, I finally decided to call her 3 weeks ago and told her that I missed her and that I cannot live without her. We actually had lunch (she was on a work trip in my city). We had a lengthy chat about what was happening (we have not seen each other for over a year since we broke up) and she said that she still loved me too. You would not believe how happy I was to hear that that she would love for us to get back together.
She promised to be completely honest and open with me, but she also said that our relationship wont be the same as she learned from our mistakes. And that if I wanted her back I would have to accept her relationship with her boss and another guy she was seeing (also in his 40s and a lawyer). She also said that I should not expect to have intercourse with her because it frustrates her, and that I should read about being locked up because she hates my non-stop masturbation. She also said that if she locks me up I`ll be able to have longer erections when she finally releases me (so I am reading about cages and stuff right this very moment).
The more I think about it the more I realize that somewhere deeper inside this is what I actually needed all along. But, having said that, it’s going to be difficult in practice. When I think about her openly going away to her boss’s apartment and knowing that she there to have sex gives me a mixture of emotions. I still consider her MY WOMAN. I am furious with rage, but having erection at the same time. How can I sleep with her in the same bed, and not think about some other male having his hands all over her body? I still have 1 week to think about it all.
Actually, she was the one who gave me the link to your website. She said that you are an expert on cuckold psychology and that you`ll be able to point me in the right direction.
I never ask for much help, but I do need help on this one! I love her so much! Please help me! I love her, but I don’t know how this is going to work! I will either kill her or myself. I want her to be happy, but how can I cope with my emotions???
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uxorious
I know you directed your comments to Luvr, but I thought I might chime in with a few thoughts. I am not a cuckold, but I hope to be someday, so please keep that in mind as you read this. The first one is a word of caution. Any successful alternative lifestyle (swinging, poly, cuckolding, it doesn’t matter) must be built on the foundation of a strong relationship that incorporates honesty, trust, and effective communication. Her history of cheating on you and lying to you is not an encouraging start. I’m not saying it’s a deal breaker (only you can decide that), but it’s something to be wary of.
My next piece of advice is to read, read, read, and once you’ve read just about everything you can find on cuckolding (real resources, not porn or stories) take some time to do some soul searching. There are many different motivations that drive cuckolds, and you have to identify what yours are. You have to figure out if your desire to keep her happy and satisfied is strong enough to override the jealousy, frustration, and other mixed emotions that come with being her cuckold.
This site is a great resource, there are many folks here that can offer tons of advice. But the final decision is up to you. It’s one that you will want to make after extensive research, soul searching, and sober deliberation. Your entire world will change if you commit to this. Good luck!
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M.Stratoss
Hey thanks so much for your input! Even thought I had addressed this to Luvr, but I did not mean just him – everyone is welcomed to post their thoughts on my situation!
I guess part of my worries are due to the fact that the love of my life is very dominant at times and I am scared that she`ll expect me to do things I am not entirely ready to do. Recently she skyped me a link to a video with creampie clean up and asked me to report my thoughts on this. I still have not replied to her as this made me even more confused. I never thought that being a cuckold meant being gay.
I am not sure if she`d ever stop – I mean she has crazy sex drive and a crazy mind. She was always like that – wanting to try new stuff that made my jaw drop at times. Just reading her skype message I got the idea that creampie clean ups is something she’s very interested in. She even joked that I have quasi-clean-up experience already (refering to the situation where I ate her not knowing that she had sex with her boss 1-2 hours before that (they did use condoms then, but she emphasized that condoms are no longer an option with her boss as both of them did not want to use them any more and she only would use them with her second lover). This whole situation drives me nuts. What if she gets pregnant? Actually, it seems that most resources are not discussing the topic of pregnancy from lover etc! I mean I love her and I want us to have kids at some stage! And if she keeps me locked up – and refuses to allow myself enter her?! Oh…its just too much to think about it… And to make me even more emotional… she is spending this very night at her boss’s place. She skyped me from his apartment…
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M.Stratoss
Tried to upload a photo of her, but kept on getting error messages :S
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uxorious
Wow, it sure sounds like she’s jumping into this with both feet. There are a lot of different activities associated with them, and not all of them are for everybody. Everyone has their own likes, dislikes, and limits. Clean up duty is one that you will see a lot of, and there are as many opinions of it as there are cuckolds, bulls, and wives. Don’t get too hung up on it being a “gay” thing. Gay and straight isn’t as much of a black and white issue as many believe. I would recommend doing some reading on the Kinsey scale. It is a theory that proposes that sexuality is described better by a continuum than a one-or-the other type definition. For a lot of guys the idea of clean up is such a turn on because they’re not gay, it’s the humiliation and indignity of it that drives their fantasies.
It sounds to me like you and your partner need to have some outside the bedroom serious discussion about the whole deal. Figure out where you both stand, what your likes/dislikes/fantasies in this particular area are, and what your limits are. Pregnancy is another very important thing to talk about. There are cuckolds out there who would like their wife to have another man’s child, but it sounds like that you are definitely not in that camp. But just like any other sexual relationship, sex is where babies come from, and you need to have a plan in place for the “what if” scenario.
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M.Stratoss
Thanks for your kind reply! I think the main issue here is my submissiveness and her full-on dominant character. When I am around her I am not too much of a man. I cannot refuse doing what she asks/orders. It’s always been like that with us two.
I do agree with you that clean-ups are very very degrading and humiliating especially if her lover is going to be watching this. But I am afraid that I`ll submit to her (as I always do) and then puke (or lose consciousnesses or something worth) when the whole thing of clean-up actually starts.
And your words about babies are exactly what I told her and she simply replied with a smile telling me that I should then simply do a better clean-up job. I think the possibility of her bearing another men’s child actually turns her on.
She also skyped me today that her boss is aware of us thinking about getting back together and he is thrilled by the whole idea (and I got the idea that he is bi-sexual!!!!!!!).
I am thinking that if we are to go through with this she`ll have to restrain when I am going to be witnessing their coupling the first time otherwise I won’t be able to cope with my emotions. Having said that, I am getting tremendously aroused by just thinking about that. It’s a love/hate type of relationship and I cannot determine what is going to prevail.
I am also worried about the risk of men’s health issues if you go without release for long time (and knowing her I wouldn’t be surprised that once I am locked up and she’s got the key – it’s going to be a long time before she unlocks me especially if I disobey her). And she probably realizes that, given my profession, I will try to avoid having the cage removed at a hospital or by someone else apart from her due to it’s degrading nature. On top of this she gave me 24 hour deadline. I need to decide soon
(it’s only going to be a 2 week trial at first she said if I agree to her rules). -
M.Stratoss
I think it’s also important to tell you that she actually questioned me about whether I was getting aroused by the whole cuckolding thing and I said no (I lied because my penis is always jumping all over the place when I see photos of her hugging her lover (but I still hate it very much!)). Do you think it’s normal to get aroused by your partner sleeping with someone else or should I get my bloody head examined?
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CompletelyHers
Hello M. Stratoss, Thank you for reaching out to people here to get a better understanding of the situation and because you will realize you aren’t alone. If you don’t mind me saying so, your situation sounds like the “cliche’ ” that every would be cuckold would dream of if they had the chance. It’s also ironic that as usual, the person telling the tale (you in this case) is not as desiring of the situation as many of your readers would be. Having said that, I need to ask you a few things that may help you in the long run if you truly love your wife.
If I may say so, there is a reason that you are naturally submissive to her and she is naturally Dominant to you. This reason is subconsciously part of why the two of you were attracted to each other in the first place, don’t you think? You went as far as to say that somehow you think this is what you may have needed all along anyways, right? Again, there is a reason that these things happen and that reason is what you need to think about. She is being who she was intended to be since the beginning long before she met you. I can applaud her for not fighting her nature and giving in to what society may want her to be. You need to do some serious soul searching my friend, and ask yourself…do you lover her unconditionally? If I were in your shoes, the only thing I would be upset with her about is for concealing her intentions from you before. I don’t know you two personally though, and it may very well be that her intentions were clear and you just refused to see the signs (it happens to a great many of us who mistakenly believe that men should be “Alpha”and women shouldn’t.
As things stand right now, she says she would like to have you back. If you love her, all you need do is concern yourself with the conditions under which she would like to have you back. Are you content to let her make of you a slave, a pet, a toy for her amusement, as these things can be very rewarding for a person like myself or maybe you? Truth be told, I am willing to bet that her life will not be as wonderful without you in it to suffer and wait for her. We all have our places in this life and I think we can only be happy when we are honest with ourselves and our partners too. You and her need to sit down together and discuss what will make the both of you happy and whether that 2 fold plan can intertwine to make 1 beautiful marriage. Most importantly though, nothing good will come of your situation if either of you cannot be completely honest about what you want out of life with each other.
Lastly, I would like to say that I have been in a very happy cuckold relationship now for almost 3 years (married 10 years), and our lives are made all the more wonderful by total honesty. We can accept a lot as human beings, but deception takes away from us the most valuable of human assets…freedom to choose.
I hope to be able to offer more to you if you would like to chat more. These things don’t come naturally to everyone after all.
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M.Stratoss
Hi CompletelyHers! Thanks so much for your reply! Really appreciate your input into this! We had a lengthy chat with her over the phone once again and I told her that I registered here on this site and she was pleased.
So we met about 3 hours ago and… I am now in a cage… She said she knew that I would agree to this for at least a trial period initially and ordered the cage a week ago.
Having said that, it took her about an hour to put the cage on as I was having erection which we could not get rid of.
Initial feelings? Weird to be honest. Pretty painful as it keeps trying to get aroused. And, perhaps I should have known this better, but after she put the cage on she gave me a gift and said that I should open it up at home. So when I got home I unpacked it and there was a dvd and her panties (she caught me masturbating and sniffing her panties once back when we actually lived together).
I played it on my laptop and yeah. It was a recording of her and her boss making love last night. Actually, not just them, but also another woman who I`ve never seen before. So a threesome. Something which she denied me all along saying she was not interested in this. Apparently not interested in this with me, but very interested in this with her boss. It was extremely crazy actually seeing her sucking Amanda’s (that other lady who I have never seen before) toes and other stuff. Amanda actually facesitted my love. And she always said there was absolutely no way she was ever going to sleep with another woman. So nothing for me, and threesome for him
And the boss actually commented a few times that cuck is not going to be happy about the threesome. I think he actually knows a lot about me. She probably tells him everything.
And yep, as hard as it is for me to say this, he was taking her doggy style and he came in her
Feeling pretty stupid and really useless. Anguish… Just want to take the cage off and never see her or speak to her again.
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M.Stratoss
Another thing I noted from the dvd was how vocal my partner was with him (or them I should say). She was virtually puffing, screaming, moaning etc non stop like she was on drugs or something. They actually had sex for over 45 minutes. And when had sex before it was like she was waiting for it to be over
And … her boss has a massive banana. I mean seriously massive I guess this is the reason for her being so vocal. I cant say I am small – I am average – about 15cm, but no way I can compare myself to him. He’s just huge. -
uxorious
Well it sounds like your Lady made your choice for you! The best advice I have for you to deal with all the new, and complicated, emotions is to focus on her….focus on how happy this is making her…..how much you love her…..and how satisfying it is to see her pleased in ways you could never please her. Enjoy the ride!
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CompletelyHers
I can’t help but think that she really does love you and want you here for all of this M. She reminds me of my wife in that she enjoys reminding you of your position. I know that at first it may seem hard to understand, but what you need to be honest about with your self is, did it excite you? She obviously wanted to share this with you in the only way she could at this point, and she wants you to know she is pleased by it. She reminds me a bit of my wife in that she really enjoys the way I will lust after her but that I cannot have anything from her when she does these things. Your beautiful wife might just be a bit of an emotional sadist. It’s a richer kind of love if you can look at it as her pleasure and her happiness my friend. Let me know how you are feeling..
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M.Stratoss
Thanks everyone for your precious input!!! Why cant I upload a picture of her? I get some sort of error type of message and yeah :S
So today is my second day in “custody”. Feeling like crap. Balls are ready to explode. Another thing is that I am uncut so the head of penis is very sensitive. When she was looking me up she ensured that the foreskin is actually fully rolled back. So now everytime the head of my penis touches something it causes crazy sensation and I am getting aroused. She is a sadist. Apparently this was necessarily to ensure that i can keep myself clean without taking the cage off.
Suffered total embarrassment yesterday. Went to swimming pool to do some laps to keep my mind off the whole thing. Public pool with public swimming pools. I turned away from everyone, but somehow this kid noticed the cage and actually asked his father something like: Daddy what’s wrong with that men’s willy? And that guy just unexpectedly looked at me and I didn’t even have time to cover myself up. Then he looked at me and smiled. And said something to the kid but I was so embarrassed by that time and didn’t hear a thing. Put all my clothing back on and walked out of that changing room pretty fast. So this is another aspect of the whole thing that I did not think about. How do you guys manage issues such as this type of public exposure? No way I am ever going back to that swimming pool ever again.
Told my boss today that I am moving to another city (my partner’s city). Looks like we going to be moving in together again.
Going to apply to the firm where I used to work before we split – good that they have a position there that would suit me. So yeah.
Her boss (lover) send me sms today asking if I enjoyed my “present”. I did not reply to him. Then got another sms from her this time asking why I did not reply. So I had to reply that I was not sure. He smsed back saying that she tastes very sweet and that he enjoyed cuming into her, and that Amanda enjoyed her licking skills. This txt got me extremely upset and aroused at the same time. Did not reply to this again. And my (or his…) partner smsed me that they are expecting me to meet them for lunch in 3 days
She’ll skype me later on today. So I guess she`ll be at his place again today because I know that her internet connection has been down for a few days. Will post an update later today -
CompletelyHers
Hello again M. I can’t help but take notice again at how much your situation is the “ideal fantasy” for some would be cuckolds out there. It literally seems like your wife and her boss have chosen you to be the whipping boy in the relationship and it may seem strange now but a lot of us are envious of that position. My wife takes regular pleasure in reminding me of what I am missing and her lover is enjoying. I know there would be more to it if he were into what your wife’s boss was doing to you. I think if you are not sure how to react or what it is doing to/for you, then maybe sitting down with them for lunch and finding out what they want may help. Even if your initial reaction is to get up and walk out…don’t. Just listen to what they have to say and go home and think about it. The humiliation is part of the play in and of itself. She loves what it does to you..that is why she asked you why you didnt respond to the boss’s SMS. I guess you have to think about what you are willing to do to keep her in your life now my friend. I can’t help but think how lucky you are even if you don’t yet realize it…
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M.Stratoss
uxorious
(it’s only going to be a 2 week trial at first she said if I agree to her rules). 
CompletelyHers
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