Marriage Evolved › discussion › Lifestyle Discussions › Getting Started › From Vanilla Dominant to FLR

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    • daveinmd
      Participant
        August 25, 2025 at 6:15 am
        Post count: 1
        #94821

        Greetings

        I am here because I am in a constant state of “pergatory” … Half way between a traditional marriage and a FLR.

        She is always been the dominant partner, but always in a vanilla, sometimes passive aggressive way. I seek to move into a more open discussion or superiority and her being the Alpha in an honest and open way.

        I know my place is to serve her forever. But how do I take it into the open. She is VERY vanilla and active in church so it’s hard to know how and when to express my need for her to take her place.

        It’s in her without a doubt, but her values prevent her ever considering it.

      • Cathy & Jerry
        Participant
          August 25, 2025 at 9:26 am
          Post count: 242
          #94823

          We wish we could give you some advice but we’ve never been in that situation since we’re not religious, but you could try taking her to a very nice restaurant and ask for a quiet booth, somewhere where there aren’t people nearby to overhear what you’re talking about. Hold her hand and tell her how much you love her then explain that there are things that you feel she needs to know and understand. Explain how you feel, that you really desire for her to “take the lead” and explain what you mean by that. If you would desire for her to have a lover then explain that to her gently and again, explain why but don’t make it about you, make it all about her, how you feel that she needs so much more than you can give and how you would love to see her so happy having a much better lover in her life. You know her better than anyone, so spend the time to write out what you would like to tell her. If you don’t do this soon you’ll grow old regretting that you never gave it a try.

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