Noone Will Believe My Situation

Most men think they are over sexed, well I did. JO, magazines and movies even after marriage. Why? Well, I thought my wife wasn’t into a lot of sex. I was 7.5″ long and about 6″ around. Years past 40+ years and then I bought a big black dildo. She liked me fucking her with it and saw how excited I got seeing her enjoyment. She made friends of a young (27) black man in the freezer section of a SuperCenter. They laughed a lot and even pecked on the lips, one time at first and then she would return to that area for more times, all sweet and innocent. Untilo one day I got aa massive hardon when they touched lips and I asked her to make the kisses last longer. She did and we finally got him to come over for supper. He was late and the wife sent me to the store and when I returned all the lights were off in the hpuse. They were fucking in our living room and I watched intently. There wew others. Until we got one who was a handyman. Gosh he was handy. She didn’t want him touching her. I was jealous and we only started it for laughs and made a pact that if either of us said to stop we would. She didn’t honor the pact. I insisted she fuck this guy because I thought she would think mhe was gross and then he rammed her for hours, made her climax and orgasm and moaned throughout. SHe was addicted to his sex moves. Bottom linr, they fell in love behind my back and the affair is ongoing after over 4 years. I now have a penile implant, she calls me artificial. Over time my dick has shrunk a tad. I have lymphadema and can barely stand or walk, and can’t get in the positions he does. My cock is a tad larger than his so he gets to butt fuck her, she won’t let me. She swallows his cum and never did mine, She licks his balls and ass and rims him whenhe requests it. Never did me. She has given him money he never paid back. Says she loves me but proves by her actions she loves him more. Im unable to leave on my own. Im a 100% DAV and am suree why she wont leave. Can nher actions be considered some type of abuse or should I give in and become a true cuckhold? I do JO while they make love.I can’t help it, makes me weak in the knees and feel flushed.