Two years ago our lives changed forever; Emily fulfilled my fantasy of her being with another man.

I don’t think that I’d always fantasized about seeing my significant other with another man, but I think it is a fantasy that was built little by little, over time.


[pullquote_left]Once we began having sex, it was something that we enjoyed, of course, but it never played that vital a role in our relationship.[/pullquote_left]Let me start from the beginning, Emily and I began dating our freshman year of college. We were quick to fall in love and our thoughts quickly turned to marriage, but we waited until she had finished school and I was into my second year of law school before we wed. October of 2005 we married. Our wedding was beautiful, Emily being the shining star of the ceremony, we began our lives together as husband and wife.

Up until the wedding, our sex life had been going fine. Not the ravenous sexuality of 2 twenty-somethings, but I think we were both happy. We didn’t begin having sex until about a year before the wedding. I guess we both had some sort of romantic notion of waiting until the time was right, neither of us had been with anyone else and were content to wait. Once we began having sex, it was something that we enjoyed, of course, but it never played that vital a role in our relationship. After we were married however, I began feeling unfulfilled in our once a week sexual romp, and I knew deep down that Emily must have felt the same. Not that I didn’t immensely enjoy our time together, but I knew that I wasn’t as fulfilling as my beautiful bride deserved. So, I guess this fantasy for me at least was built brick-by-brick of wanton desire to see Emily truly satisfied, to see her happy and sexually free.

A Fantasy Forms

Alas, like most fantasies, this one was destined to go unfulfilled. We men for some reason have a hard time trusting our partners with these most intimate desires. We marry, devote our lives to, share the bed of, cook, clean, stress over money, and tend to each other when sick, but for some reason our sexual happiness is something that too many couples would never dream of mentioning, let alone mention of our deepest, darkest fantasies.

Dropping The Bomb

Brick-by-brick my fantasy continued to build, it became almost all consuming of my sexual thoughts. Every time we had sex I became aroused at the thought of seeing her, beautiful, completely satisfied. Then once it ended I wondered if Emily had any sort of deep desire for something more than I could give her. Something more exciting, bigger, longer lasting, more creative. Then it happened a few weeks after our 4th anniversary. We were out eating when I said “Em, I’ve been having this fantasy.” Hardly looking up from her food she asked what it was, expecting some boiler plate male fantasy to come across the table, I told her I desired to see her truly happy in bed with another man. She dropped her fork, look up, her eyes wide, hoping she didn’t hear me right (or maybe hoping she had) and asked me “What?” I took a deep breath, realizing this was it, I opened my mouth and now she was going to be disgusted by me and this was it. I was planning where I’d live next when she kicked me out of the house as for some unknown reason I said it again.

“I have been fantasizing about seeing you with another man.”

Well, needless to say, she did not leave me, though the rest of that dinner was spent mostly pushing food around our plates until the silence overcame us and we headed home. Slowly our conversations became more engaged. I felt like I was back in law school, pleading my case in some sort of twisted, partner exercise. As the conversations continued, there were two themes that resonated: that I must have wanted to be with other women, and that I must not love her if I wanted to share her. Anyone in this lifestyle or men that want to get their wives involved in this know these 2 things to be the furthest from the truth, but it took, weeks and weeks of convincing and talking with her to get her to understand. We didn’t discuss this daily, but a few times a week it would come up. After we had cleared those 2 hurdles, it became more an exercise in building her confidence in herself and building a whole new level of trust in our relationship.


By the time we got to next summer (6-7 months down the road), we were both feeling more comfortable in discussing it, and sometimes even fantasizing about it in the bedroom together. Emily however still wasn’t convinced. One particular event really helped build her confidence and may have even helped give her that final little nudge needed to embrace this fantasy. We were on vacation, staying at a resort in Mexico, and my Emily was looking stunning. We decided to go out to a local bar, tourist trap type of a place to have a few drinks and get a change of scenery from the resorts bars. As I was waiting behind a long line of people to place our drink order at the bar, I glanced over to see a man by our table. They seemed to be smiling, flirting, as I watched from the bar. Very excited I placed our order and took my time heading back to our table. He had left by the time I reached Emily with our drinks, and she didn’t say anything about him until we got back to our hotel room. When she told me about the stranger who picked her to flirt with, out of a bar full of beautiful women, I could see the spark of sexuality and confidence in her eyes. We had our most passionate sex to-date, and afterwards she said she would think about fulfilling that fantasy.

The Green Light

After returning from that vacation, we went back to life as normal, until one night when I got home from work, Emily called me up to our bedroom. She was undressed, only wearing a robe, as I laid down next to her in bed. She told me about a man from her gym. A tall, older, very handsome, very smart and funny black man that had been flirting with her over the past few weeks. The thought of Emily flirting with other men was enough to send me over the top, but she continued on saying that if I still wanted her to she would go out on a date with him. We both smiled, had sex, and I said nothing would make me happier than to see her happy. Laying in bed, she told me she had a few ground rules for her date.

  1. If at any time either of us feel uncomfortable and want this to end, it will.
  2. We are doing this together for both of our enjoyments, but only for Emily’s sexual satisfaction.
  3. That I would accompany her on her date and be present for anything else that happened.
  4. We promise to love each other before and after the date.

(We still have a set of rules for ourselves that looks pretty much like this, with a few changes that I’ll get into some other time.)

Emily’s First Date

Two weeks after she told me, she got ready for her date. It took place in early September, a few weeks before our 5th anniversary. She bought a new dress, new lingerie, and new shoes. It was terrifying and exciting driving to the restaurant to meet him. Emily looked incredibly nervous, but I tried my best to not show my own nervousness and re-assure her that I loved her. Her new friend from her gym was pretty much exactly as advertised. He was a physical therapist that worked at a local medical center named James. The dinner was great, good food, but James did most of the talking, sensing how nervous we both were. He had had some experience with other couples and told me he had been very interested in Emily since the first time he saw her.

After a very surreal dinner that left me excited for more and an unsettled feeling in my stomach, the three of us headed to a hotel across the street from the restaurant. We chose a hotel for this first time because we felt it would be a safe neutral place in case we decided to call it off. As we walked through the lobby, checked in to our room and headed up the elevator, my nervousness grew. I could feel Emily’s nerves getting the best of her too. I grabbed her hand and whispered I love you into her ear. She smiled and whispered it back to me. We shared a quick kiss at the door to the room.

[pullquote_left]She looked stunning as she stood before him, a girlish grin on her face and flushed cheeks as he undressed her.[/pullquote_left]When we got to the room, James got a bottle of wine open that we had sent ahead and poured us 3 glasses. I sat on the couch while the two of them sat on the bed, talking quietly to each other. He was very good about not rushing her and keeping the spirit light. We drank the wine, decided we needed another bottle which I volunteered to go get from the hotel bar. I thought they could use a moment alone for her to relax a little bit. I returned, poured 3 more glasses and sat back down. They were kissing before we finished the second bottle. She looked nervous, but passionate; she was enjoying him, but she kept glancing at me to make sure I was ok with everything that was happening. The knot in my stomach grew, as I became more and more aroused watching her. She looked stunning as she stood before him, a girlish grin on her face and flushed cheeks as he undressed her. He congratulated me on her beauty and bathed her in compliments as he explored her body with kisses. The softest moan escaped her lips as his fingers moved over her soft skin, letting her dress fall to the floor. As she laid back on the bed, they kissed, then he stood and removed his clothes, put a condom on and laid back down next to her. They kissed some more, gradually her looking over at me for affirmation slowed down, as she let herself get lost in the moment.


Afterwards, we were both truly happy. Looking deeply into each others eyes as she laid next to him. Her face flush with excitement and fear and satisfaction. Mine had to have looked the same way. She dozed off for a few moments before he woke her up. They kissed then he sent her over to me, we kissed, exchanged an I love you, her eyes tearing up with so many emotions trying to escape. He shook my hand, kissed her again then he left to let us have the rest of the night together. We cuddled on the bed as we slept for a few hours before waking to talk about what happened. She told me she was so happy and thankful and scared I would be upset with her. I told her that I loved her more than I ever had and hoped she enjoyed it. By the next morning she was contemplating what she should wear for her next date.

This was a brief introduction to our lives together. We have been married for over 7 years now, and Emily still is enjoying other men and I am enjoying every minute of our adventure together. She still sees James on occasion, they dated for nearly a year before my job took us away. That just gives them an excuse for extended visits when they do catch up.

More to come…