Am I being a cuckold?

In a way you are cuckolded. Do you share this fantasy with your wife and what is she saying?

not in a way cuckolded. if we married and wife has sex with another then with or without permission you are a cuckold.
however lot of difference between willing cuck and unknowing or unwilling. can be nice to share though being excluded is not always fair on partner. is there a reason why?

It really comes down to your motivation for doing this. If you’re not really into it, then you’re more a wittol – a husband aware but ambivalent about it or unable to do anything about it.

If you’re into it and you just accept that maybe they’ll tell you about it after you’ve done all the arrangements, then you’re more a victim of them taking advantage than you are a cuckold in the healthy sense of the word.

Per the dictionary you are a cuckold. Whether the man knows or not, participates or not, if the wife is having sex with another man then he is considered a cuckold. That is the dictionary definition.

But do you care about the label or do you care about the relationship? And are you happy with the arrangement? You sound like you have been happy with it for a long time as long as they told you detail but now you are developing a desire to see them. If that is the case then you should tell them.

If they don’t feel comfortable with that, maybe ask them to film?

You ARE a cuck. Get used to that idea. Why not carry that further, and find some other males to fuck your wife too? She really should try black. My wife went black cock only after her very first black cock.