Cuckold chastity mainly refers to physically enforced chastity through the use of a device to restrict a husband’s ability to have sex, masturbate and in some cases prevent and even punish erections.
Why restrain your husband’s penis?
There are multiple reasons a chastity device should be considered to establish full control of a cuckold’s penis. Reasons range from simple masturbation prevention to enhancing the D/s aspect of a relationship. Afterall, males are very penis-centric, aren’t we? It is the symbol of our manhood and at the core of our self-identity.
For wives who began the cuckolding journey to overcome the frustration of having a husband with a wee little penis or perhaps a much larger one lacking in the requisite stamina to make the sexual experience satisfying, requiring her husband to experience the frustration of having their most basic pleasure and instinct denied can be an effective method of communicating the frustration she has long experienced prior to cuckolding him.
Enforcing Chastity Requires Hardware
There are many options for taking physical control of a cuckold’s penis in terms of the material used, how it fits and options for allowing or punishing a cuckold’s attempts at acheiving erection. Some devices are more for play than enforcing real chastity and will allow a cuckold plenty of opportunity to rub himself or even escape his device – especially if not properly fitted.
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Wives often experience intense conflict over disabling their husband’s penis just as their husband experiences from sharing her. Wives will be thrilled on one hand having the control and experiencing the gift of submission their husband offers by giving up control of his penis, but feel guilty about being so thrilled and aroused by doing this to him. Fear not. Your husband wants to give you this gift – or more precisely, he wants you to take this gift. Chastity, for many husbands, is something many of them fantasize about and will become very excited when it’s discussed, but tend not to ask for it – it’s something they want to have done to them.
Chastity can also be used very effectively to correct poor behavior.
Remind Your Cuckold of his Role
a hung cuckold’s penis may need a larger restraint
A cuckold’s role is a supportive role. His wife’s pleasure comes before his own, this means if he’s spending the entire time rubbing his penis, his attention is definitely not where it belongs: on the union of his wife with her boyfriend.
As a rule, cuckolds under my guidance or ownership may not spurt (orgasm) without permission. This can be a problem because I prefer to not restrain a cuckold. Why, you ask? It goes with my preference for not tying or handcuffing a cuckold: I want his submission apparent to us and to himself. When bound, a husband has a subconscious ‘out’ for why another man is balls deep inside his wife, but when he’s kneeling by the bed, penis erect and leaking cuckold’s tears, there can be only one explanation: submission.
crying cuckold tears of joy for his hotwife and her bf
Likewise, when a cuckold’s penis is always restrained, it’s easier for him to accept not being able to use his penis as he once did, but when he’s erect and twitching, yet still humping nothing but air, his submission is much more apparent.
For some wives, nothing is more erotic than returning from a date to a horny, erect husband, eager to be second in line inside her, if lucky, or to be stroked gently in her hand while she recounts the details of her date. If her cuckold has been wanking his penis the entire time, she will be robbed of that opportunity – hence a chastity device could be effective until she returns to supervise his visits with his penis!
Chastity can be an important part of teasing and denial play. Teasing and denial is a form of D/s where the wife takes pleasure in purposely teasing her cuckold both physically, verbally and even mentally. Over time, a form of chastity may be necessary when the cuckold isn’t supervised to ensure he isn’t robbing his wife or their Dom of the control necessary to making the denial aspect of teasing & denial effective.
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Hi. I want to learn more about cuckolding. My Hot Wife and I are headingt that way, but I believe we need some help…
Larry, thanks for visiting. If you’d like to talk about your situation, start a topic on the forum so we can discuss it: http://cuckoldmarriage.info/forum/getting-started/
Yes, these cuckold tears, sweet agony , so degrading. What else is left, when denied, to cry for her and love her so deeply.
I placed my husband in the CB6000 earlier this year as part of a campaign to train him to become more attentive to my sexual needs. He has consistently petitioned me to dominate him sexually over the course of our twenty-plus year marriage; however his ‘dedication to serving me’ has always been short-lived, typically lasting only as long as it takes him to orgasm…a period of time that is measured in minutes if he is not somehow restrained. I have grown tired of the façade and therein lies the need for him to be in a chastity device which I require him to wear at all times including business trips abroad.
In preparation for such trips, we will switch him from a brass padlock to one of the numbered key locks that I believe Luvr mentions in a prior article or posting on this site. Whenever my little hubby travels on business, I will order him to email a picture of his locked penis to me at unannounced times to ‘keep him honest.’ Obviously, the key lock’s serial number must be clearly visible in the image. However, I require inclusion of some random information on a Post-It Note as well to preclude any stockpiling of images in advance. Most recently (week before last,) I made him send pictures regularly from a conference he was attending in Pattaya, Thailand. I can imagine the chagrin he surely felt when pressured to accompany his colleagues on bar-hopping junkets to Walking Street. I get wet just thinking about how uncomfortable that must have been for him! If he doesn’t go, he will surely get crap from his peer group for being a wimp (which he is not) – whereas, if he does go, he seriously risks some little cutie in a strip club discovering the plastic packaging in his pants!
So far, keeping him in chastity has been extremely effective in ensuring he is highly dependent upon me for any sexual gratification whatsoever. This, in turn, has indeed ‘humbled him down’ such that I am truly in control of our sexual existence for the first time.
Well done, Octavia!
Has your use of chastity with him and the reinforcement of Dominant/submissive sexual roles that brings brought you to other experiences such as cuckolding?
Indeed it has. In fact, after years of role-playing and fantasizing, we recently had our very first experience with cuckolding. My husband coordinated everything, ensuring the setting would be just right and that a suitable 3rd party was both willing and available.
I think playing to his submissive fantasies by placing him in panties and chastity for several months played a key role in preparing him psychologically for this ultimate act. As I mentioned in my prior post, the process very much ‘humbled him down,’ which was very important given that his natural day-to-day interaction with other males is not that of submission. And, while it is true that he has fantasized for many years about submitting sexually to a woman, it has been only within the last year or so that he has come to accept his ‘ultimate fantasy’ might actually be that of submitting to a superior male. A lifetime of social programming had developed a belief-system within him that the ONLY acceptable role for a male is that of the sexual dominant. Breaking down that deep-seated dogma was not a trivial task.
I want to stress to your readers that — with regard to cuckolding — transition from fantasy to reality is a very big step and one that must not be taken lightly. Yes – I very much enjoyed having sex with a well-endowed man and forcing my husband to look on while it happened made it that much more exciting. But, by no means was this couple of hours of pleasure — nor would be a hundred like it — something worth jeopardizing our marriage over.
I like what you said: “A lifetime of social programming had developed a belief-system within him that the ONLY acceptable role for a male is that of the sexual dominant.” If all males were as capable of that as the expectation, it wouldn’t be a problem, but the reality is most men – and women, prefer to follow rather than lead. This isn’t at all a judgement that submissives are of less value, but rather a simple fact of nature that there are always far more indians than chiefs. Along with that is the dynamic nature of human personality and society which leaves our role in somewhat dynamic. Where you are becoming comfortable in a more dominant role with him, you will still feel a desire to submit to males you instinctively perceive as dominant. This is what nature intended; for you to defer to such males for coupling and for the beta male to be supportive of both your right to that coupling and his right to having you.
I understand what you are saying; however, with all due respect, I think you may be painting with a bit of a broad brush when you equate a cuckold’s sexual submission to abdication of his willingness to be — or fitness as — a leader in general. I would further submit that therein lays the root of the paradox with which we are dealing: for millions of years, physical/sexual domination has largely equated with overall social success and dominance in males, but that situation has changed in recent history. Men can now be highly successful leaders in virtually all aspects of today’s society; yet, still be materially lacking as a sexual partner.
As a result, the set of criteria that women use for selecting a husband are simply not the same as those we would use to select a lover. I personally believe the former to be the result of learned behavior and the latter millions of years of evolution that is built into our genes. Most of the men that we marry are strikingly effective at deluding themselves into believing no such ‘double standard’ exists and that women — or, their wives at the very least – are not concerned with things such as cock size and certainly do not discuss such topics amongst themselves. I find the average male’s naiveté in this regard to be laughable – but, at the same time, it is probably better for everyone that he chooses to wear such blinders.
I suppose it is the internet that is maybe bringing more of this out in the open: e.g., women love men with large cocks who are expert at using them. As for being dominated sexually by an alpha male…yes, that is my nature as well. I absolutely crave it. Again, however, that is with regard to sex and such desires for submission do not necessarily spill over into other aspects of my life.
With regard to my husband’s situation, he is indeed successful and is has demonstrated himself to be a natural-born leader. He can be quite aggressive when required, both mentally and physically. So, my husband is not ‘a wimp,’ by any stretch. And, I think that is what makes the idea of being humiliated by me and/or another man such a roller-coaster ride for him. The internal battle to reconcile what he has been taught by society vs. his ‘true nature’ causes him genuine emotional pain, I think. And, therein likely lies the payoff as he is an endorphin junkie and a masochist at heart.
But, yes, you are correct that there is some escapism tossed in there as well. As I am sure you know better than I, it’s complicated…
I don’t disagree with you, actually. Because your husband has chosen to submit this way and become your cuckold doesn’t mean he’s not able to be perceived as dominant by others – this is quite common, in fact.
Males are expected by society to be alphas, to strive to be the dominant male and some are more effective than others. This is because none of us are alphas by birth – we can only be an alpha when promoted to such a status by our peers through recognition as such. Imagine a line; at one end submissive, the opposite end, dominant. We are all on that line, but where we are on that line can shift depending on how we perceive others around us. The same qualities that make a male a good husband are often at odds with the qualities that make for an exciting lover for a woman. This is simply because of how a woman’s sexuality is wired. Women are driven to seek assertive, dominant-appearing males as sexual partners. Something in the biology says that’s success – at a biological level. Because we’re humans, we also measure success in other ways, so the material success that ensures a woman a stable environment to raise a family are often at odds with what her body craves creating a mental/physical conflict that is best overcome by having both roles in your marriage :).
I recently read a study where a type of lizard was used to test female reactions. In this lizard species, males compete for females by the rocks they stake a claim to. The larger the rock, the more impressive. By altering the natural order and placing smaller lizards on the larger rocks, the researchers found the females would ‘pair’ with the smaller lizards on the big rock, but eventually mate with the physically superior lizards when given the opportunity.
We’re just larger lizards.
There are many examples throughout history of extremely powerful men being sexually submissive to both men and women. Alexander the Great (gay) and his man love comes to mind. It was said of Julius Caesar that he was every wife’s husband, and every husband’s wife (bisexual). The Byzantine General Belisarius served his empire all over the medditeraen and was cuckolded every time he left Constantinople. And of course Napoleon was continually cucked by Josephine.
I think the thing to remember is that as with all generalizations – they are just rules of thumb and far from all encompassing.
Aloha! Being not as small as I would like to be, but small at heart, my wife and I are finding it rather difficult to find a long term restraint that I can fit into. Can someone suggest a chastity device for a 7″ cock with a lot of girth, but small balls?
You might consider “The Curve.” The website is at http://www.cb-6000.com
Maybe this isn’t the right place to say this but all my life I have felt like a girl traped in a guy’s body. Finally my wife and I are taking active steps vis a vis hormone therapy, breast augementation and counseling to right a wrong that occurred at birth, I was a cuckold, but I want more and my understanding wife is more like a sister to me. I’m beginning my first steps to becoming a transgendered indivividual.
Charlene
My ex wife seldom used forced chastity with me because she was off the oponion very few women wanted what was between my legs. I am 2 3/4 soft expanding to a whopping 3 1/4 erect. She did however have a cb 2000 that she would lock me up in when she wanted me not to masturbate. Longest I ever wore was ten days straight. Once I got over the adjustments of having it on I was ok with it but relieved when it came off and went back in the box.
Greetings. I am new here, but not new to the lifestyle. Chastity play is actually how my wife and I opened up our marriage. I begged her to try it 11 years ago. She discovered she liked my personality way better when I was locked. And the longer I was locked, the more submissive and open to her I became. In a way, this is what led to her cuckolding me. After weeks of me being locked in a cb 2000, I lost my fear of communication. (My fear of exposing myself as Not the Alpha Male). For over a decade now, my wife has taken lovers. One of her relationships lasted for 6 years, and finally ended because for all practical purposes, they were becoming man and wife, and it threatened our marriage. Thank God it didn’t end it. I thought that was the end of our cuckolding experience, and it led to a year or so of inactivity, but she is back at it, having found a new long term lover who she adores. Through it all, I have always worn chastity devices. Currently, I wear a chasity cage from Mature Metal called “Jailbird”. It is comfortable, custom made and a far more serious device than the plastic cb series. I was pierced in 2004 and own a variety of devices, several of which are more expensive than the current one, and required PA piercings. But I like the JB the best, as it is light, tight, and comfortable and custom made. She is extremely strict about my chastity and except for the year we “took off” after she broke up with her long time lover, I am rarely released for anything other than cleaning. Several times a year – 2 to 4 times, seems to be my average over the past decade. For the record, it is possible, after long term lockup, to orgasm to a degree, no matter what device one wears. But as much as I look forward to being released, I always feel someone naked and vulnerable when hanging free. After a long term wear – and wearing a cb 90% of the time over a decade is long term – it feels unnatural NOT to be wearing it.
Welcome to my site, @reallynow and thank you for sharing your experiences.
Being subjected to longterm chastity, have you noticed any reduction in your ability to become fully erect or experienced any shrinkage in the overall length of your erection? I’ve had others who have had their penis restrained more than not report these side effects to me before.
Sometimes when I am released and allowed to masturbate I cannot get fully hard. This is rare, since being released for any purpose other than having myself and the device cleaned is rare. After years of being locked (and being stimulated to “orgasm” while remaining locked), I do not need to be erect in order to release ejaculate. I do require prostate stimulation for this to occur, usually, and she provides it in a variety of ways. It has been over 6 months since I was released long enough to achieve an erection, and I noticed no real difference in size.
Reallynow:
I too am learning how to ejaculate in my chastity belt (birdcage) on a weekly basis during milkings without any orgasm. I find that during the moment of orgasm when the body tries to erect the penis, the extra pressure in the cage ends up blocking the ejaculate and you end up with a ruined orgasm. To combat this, I try and much as possible to remain flaccid while ejaculating in the cage so as to allow the ejaculation to occur. I believe this is slowly programming me to have an orgasm while remaining flaccid.