Reply To: Voluntary castration

Thank you BespokeBull for this post. It made things very vivid for me. What an experience – it is amazing that it worked out well.

The connection between ambition and cuckolding is interesting. We all like to think we’re modern, liberated people, but masculinity is a weird thing – sexual prowess, professional success, being seen as an actor in the world is still important for men and it builds expectations and demands that many men can’t meet. This failure to meet expectations creates a dissonance where toxic masculinity can exist. I really do believe that we need to be realistic about ourselves – many men aren’t manly and need to stop trying to be. Being honest with ourselves will us, the betas, to be better fathers and husbands and be more productive in society and in our work.

I am very successful professionally, intelligent, physically active and fit, I’m socially confident… but I’m definitely a beta sexually. The dissonance is between the public and private self, the surface and the inside. Few people see the inside, but to tease me, to humiliate and keep me on my toes, C does let on to close friends, often when she is a little drunk, that I am sexually submissive to her, that she wears the pants and me the panties. The woman she told this to was fascinated, surprised and excited – she actually said imagining C topping me turned her on. (When she left us at the end of an evening of food and wine, C commented that she’d either be masturbating or fucking her husband before she sleeps.)

Do you remember the name of the drug she put him on? The humiliation and abuse in this situation is a huge turn in for me – it made me hard as hell. Isn’t it ironic that beta men are crap lovers until the woman starts giving them hell for being useless beta wimps.

You sound like a compassionate Bull. I like that. I hope my wife’s lovers are kind.

The thing that scares me about this is the giving up… the idea that I would concede that I am not and cannot be a man, however inadequate. No more orgasms, wanking, erections and touching myself. I can’t assume that C will continue to want me to pleasure here at all. Would she cut me out of her sex life altogether. The thought of not being able to touch, taste or see her naked body… that is my idea of hell. I might not be able to satisfy her, but she does allow me currently to try, I can still give her pleasure and we are still intimate.

That the cuckold in your experience found a new life and purpose is fantastic. I do sometimes think that I would be much more productive as a eunuch. No more distractions, no more being led around by my penis – I’d finally get to all those jobs around the house and I’d write my novel.