Re: Cuckolds describe your feelings?

It is a well established psychological idea that we move from pain towards pleasure, in other words we move away from things which we find painful or unacceptable. Freudian psychology would locate these feelings in the unconscious part of the mind the bit which deals with feelings. Regardless of how you think logically your emotional unconscious mind may still reject cuckolding. This is because your belief system from childhood has established these feelings. You have been socialised in a society which views male marital dominance as the norm. In a western marriage it is very common for the female spouse to defer to her husband. This is what she has been socialised to do since even in the games she played as she grew up.You may have grown up playing at being the provider the male protector the tough guy the soldier all that. Most young men did not grow up with a desire to wear women’s underwear and so on, a practice which can prevail in cuckolding. As an adolescent you may have wanted to grow facial hair and so on and be a man as quick s possible. Now you may find as I do that your wife is either seeing another man or wants to. Well this is different territory You are not prepared for this. Your emotional unconscious pre programmed mind did not expect this. Even if you stumble on cuckolding as a thrilling sexual practice which suits your submissive tendencies you will be in conflict with your pre programmed mind. Personally I have suffered for years with this. The only way to resolve this is to change your belief system and cement this with practices which will change your unconscious. Your belief system can be changed with logic by working out what props up the belief that women should be monogamous and perhaps subservient to their husband. This will vary from person to person . Then you must get your partner involved in some exercise with you which sexualises her behaviour for you Personally I like her to tease me and arouse me then gently tell about her affair. For me this has reprogrammed my mind in that when I think of her affair now I feel excited, sexual. This has ended years of pain. Cuckolding will not work if at some level your mind still rejects it. When you are highly excited at the thought of her cuckolding you then it works. Strange thing happened for me though my wife enjoyed the teasing that much and the general intimacy cuckolding seems to be moving off side. Her affair may have been the result of a lack of marital intimacy, something which was tried for the first time as a last ditch attempt has actually worked but maybe not as intended. So what happened. I changed my belief system about monogamy. I instigated more sexual intimacy in the marriage. My wife may have seen this as a more dominant taking the initiative type of move showing my true feelings without recourse to the consequences actually asking her to do something. She enjoyed my excitement as I was turned on by her hence no need to seek attention elsewhere the attention she gets at home is more than adequate. Letting her tease me and so on may have seemed submissive to me but again that is a belief system problem, when actually it may just be the type of male attention she craves makes her feel good. I suspect many cuckodresses are actually turned on far more by the attention of their cuckold husbands than by any selfish sex the bulls offer. Lets face it the bull can be a bit of a self centred individual Long term I believe people do not want to live with a selfish character they crave attention. Therefore finally I believe cuckolding at its core is about two people who love each other where the male offers loads of attention to the female The bull just enables this process to occur Many couples can achieve this without cuckolding however many couples never achieve any real intimacy or understanding and man y give up in despair A bit of a rant but hope it helps