Re: My wife found out about my secret, shameful, fantasies …

You should never refer to these desires or this lifestyle as shameful. That feeling is simply a byproduct of the conflict between what your basic instincts and true personality are telling you to feel and what society has told you as being 'right for you'.

As I said when you joined the chat yesterday, much of the process of finding her a boyfriend is with her. It's her pussy to offer to the men she views as deserving of it. It's your role to support her in that and help her feel comfortable socializing and flirting to find her boyfriend.