CompletelyHers
Hello again Aaron,
I am avidly following your posts now because I want to see where this is going to end up. In my opinion at least your wife now has the potential to be a “hotwife” if her past is any indicator, but I still feel that the deciding factor will be her security. I like your outline very much and it is well thought out, but are you addressing her feelings from her perspective? I asked my wife to sit in on this with me and help me form this from a woman’s PoV. For instance, in your foundation, you are stating the obvious( at least to us) so what I suggest is that you look at it from the point of view of a woman’s insecurity. Yes, you see your marriage as a life time commitment..let her know this will not EVER change just because the dynamics in the relationship do. Faithfulness >> Let her know this is for HER benefit, and that not only do you never need or want to be with another woman, but that this is about Honesty…you will always tell the truth to eachother so there is no infidelity…nothing will ever be hidden so she cannot lose you. Stability >> Let her know that it is BECAUSE you have this stability and work hard to maintain it for HER that she can be free to pursue her desires (wherever they lead) and that nothing she can do will ever threaten her having you as a loving and supporting spouse.
In your “the Benefit to Us” section, which I liked very much by the way, a point struck me that you may wish to change or exclude. Item number 5 said that as you “become jealous and seek to compete” and I wanted to tell you it’s beast not to mention that this will make you jealous. Not ALL women respond well to that (you know your wife better than I do obviously). In some cases, the mere fact that you would be jealous in and of itself is enough to make her not want to enter into this lifestyle. It’s a give and take obviously..at first, you see the woman convinces herself she is doing this for your benefit. It’s only later that they discover that they like it very much (regardless of how you feel). I think they need that reassurance early on that you benefit from it and feel no negative effect (Trust me in this regard because you may cut your own foot off before the race begins if you tell her how you will want to compete with her lovers and that it makes you jealous).
As for conditions, I would suggest leaving that out for the moment. This isn’t a contract so much as an idea you are selling her on. If she wants conditions, let her come up with those on her own. After all, this is for HER benefit, right? See how she takes the idea first and bring up any concerns you have only if she accepts the idea and doesn’t think of them on her own.
Your section entitled Some Clarification >> Perfect and well spoken..include this in every detail.
As for your Parting Thoughts section >> My wife said to leave this out please…She mentioned that while it may be true, it turns all your previous thoughts about what you want and desire for her into just a “scientific thesis” and it doesn’t sound sexy OR about her pleasure. I tend to agree on the theory, but it’s not a selling point as to why she should feel secure with you to do try this lifestyle.
Lastly, a word of caution for you my friend…not that you haven’t thought long and hard (forgive the pun) about this, but I must say…be careful what you wish for. This lifestyle is a beast that doesn’t like to be caged after it’s released. In our fantasies we get what we want, but in reality sometimes we are subject to what SHE wants, and it may be more than you can handle. Ever stop to consider what it is like to see a man fuck your wife in ways that you couldn’t dream of? I don’t have a jealous bone in my body, and even then it is a truly humbling experience… 