Re: Vulnerability

Hello, LadyOmphale, welcome to my site.

Your point is a good one in that both of you can be vulnerable in this process, but that is something that also binds you closer together. By recognizing each other is vulnerable in your own ways, you can both work toward mitigating that fear in the other as you move forward.

Some practical advice: His vulnerability is best mitigated through inclusion – never letting him feel he doesn't know where you stand or what it is you've been doing. Your vulnerability is best mitigated through making better choices about who you meet and where.

One of the 'entry level' ways of experiencing sharing is when you attend social events or venues with the express purpose of 'being available'. These venues can be work related social functions or just enjoying the social nightlife where males and females are hoping to get nature to take its course. I often recommend that the husband attend with you rather than just sit home and wait. Of course this means he watches over you rather than sits with you. This allows him to feel included and allows you a greater feeling of security. Some wives feel inhibited by knowing the husband is nearby, but for couples where the need for this mitigation of vulnerability is a higher concern than having him watch you flirt, the choice is easy.

If you do feel inhibited by him watching, try to remind yourself of how arousing it is for him to watch you…to see you flirting, showing off and behaving as a sexually available woman. If you're in doubt of that, make sure to find a moment to talk to him after you've been flirting with someone or danced with another man and I think you'll find his 'truth detector' speaking volumes.

Because you never know when or where you might meet where mutual interest occurs, a hotwife should always dress and behave the part. This doesn't require that you dress like a hooker, but it does mean you can't rely on your 'married' wardrobe and behaviors which reflect your married status, not your available status.

Hope this helps a bit – keep us informed of your progress!