Am I a good cuckold?

Thanks Robert

I do try to remember that as a cuckold, it is not about me and my needs, but those of my wife and her lover. It is hard sometimes to step aside for another man, but I know that is my place as a cuckold. I do get sexual pleasure from their fucking, watching him go down on my wife, fingering her, making her cum, fondling and sucking her tits. Seeing how her body responds to him. When I masturbate now that is what I think about.

Thanks for your reply. I have learned to be happy, to let my macho male ego go. It is hard to break away from what one has been taught, how to be a man, to act like a man and by that I mean a heterosexual male who wants to dominate and be the stud of a marriage.

I guess a guy like me needs to be broken in like they do to wild horses. I am compliant now. I have learned that there is more to sex and sexual satisfaction and sexual release then the typical straight monogamous sex. I focus on the positive as much as I can.

Thanks, nice to hear validation. I am trying to be a good cuckold

I have not asked them if I am a good cuckold, but I would assume they appreciate what I have provided for them. Validation is always nice especially when you are on a journey you never expected and one that society does really acknowledge or approve.

Thanks for your kind words. You seem like a very caring Bull. My wife’s ex is a very nice guy. Before we ventured down this road of him becoming part of our sex life, we got along I think better then some husbands and their wives’ exs. I wonder if my cuckold experience is somewhat different then the norm as I do not think he thinks of himself as a Bull, per say. Yes he is fucking my wife and is dominant, but he does not come across as what I would suspect is a true Bull. You would know better then me.

Thanks for your validation of my role. I imagine each participate in this sexual triangle has some difficult in accepting their role, but I think it is the hardest for the cuckold. The Bull wants to and needs to fuck and as a guy, when presented with a cunt, will fuck it. The wife has sexual desires and when a stud shows interest in her, and presents something she is not getting from her husband, she willingly spreads her legs. The cuckold on the other hand has to learn to accept a role he may never have truly thought of ever doing. Yes we cuckolds are submissive men, whether by choice or it is inane in us, but we are still men, still have the male ego. So letting go of that, to let a bull take the wife for his sexual playmate and watching the wife eagerly serve his needs, it is hard, at least it has been for me. As a cuckold, we may think we do not deserve sexual pleasure, that our cocks are not manly enough to fulfill the male role, but whether we admit it or not, we still want sex, we still want to experience sexual orgasm.

The only difference is that we step aside for a bull and then seek out sexual fulfillment, whatever that may be for each cuckold, after he has his way with the wife.

I don’t have a small dick but he is definitely much bigger and thicker. He still puts me to shame. He definitely has much bigger balls and they hang. If I am watching from behind when he fucks her doggy, I see his balls swinging back and forth with his penetration.

I guess all aspect of this lifestyle fill be with angst at some degree. Interestingly I think the hardest thing for me to witness is my wife taking his cock in her mouth and sucking him. Not sure why it bothers me, but I guess it could be the fact that she is pleasuring his cock, something about the intimacy of that act. Believe me watching him penetrate her cunt, fuck her, use her body for his sexual pleasure, pumping his load in her, they still are difficult for me. But of those, him cumming in her, filling her with his seed, is the most difficult. It is complete validation that he has claimed her, that he has fucked her and if my wife was fertile, that he could be impregnating her.

I tried once to fuck like him when we were alone, to be aggressive, and my wife actually asked me what I was doing. She told me not to try to fuck like him. It was kind of humiliating. So after he fucks her, I just fuck her until I cum. When it is just the two of us, we make love. I just try to make it passionate, but not brutal.

Yes he does look at me sometimes when my wife has his cock in her mouth, sucking him. I can see the pure pleasure he is experiencing on his face as he is being sucked. He will take his hands and grab her head and force her to deep throat him. I can feel all kinds of emotions when she sucks him and he controls it, more than I do when he is fucking her. I feel betrayed as a husband, I feel inadequate as a man, but also protective of my wife and want him to stop, want him to not use her mouth like a whore. It is rare, as he prefers fucking and cumming, but when he cums in her mouth and makes her swallow, it is like something snaps inside of me. I feel broken, like I have lost.

But as for being a cuckold, the arousal of this situation has definitely consumed me. Maybe it is that I am now numb to their fucking, his sexual dominance over my wife, her outward desire for him sexually. I see the hunger in her eyes when he is around. It is like he has made her into a slut. The things she will do for him and with him, nothing she would do for me. It is like she cannot get enough. I assume because the sexual encounters are not regular. Each time it is like a first time, the absence brings out the horniness in my wife.

I asked my wife once if their sex was like this when married. She said definitely in the beginning, but it did wane but there were continual intense sexual moments. I think that happens to all married couples and as we age, the sexual drive changes.

So in the end, I have to admit I love being a cuckold. There, I said it

My wife has not complained about him shoving his cock down her throat. I have learned my wife likes it rough, except when it comes to our lovemaking. I tried once to mimic him and she told me to stop. That definitely hurt my male ego.
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I guess when I say something in me snaps, I guess it is the only time I truly get angry that my wife is pleasuring him, that he is getting off on getting sucked, that I don’t even exist in that moment. Maybe it is whatever alpha part I may have deep inside of me comes out, but I am such a submissive male that that I do not do anything and I think I get more angry with myself. I should be stopping this, pulling my wife away from his cock, hitting him, taking control, be a man, take back what should be mine. But I do nothing. I am there watching, no control over the situation. It probably is the only time I am upset with myself that my cock is rock hard. How can I be so aroused when I am being made a fool of, that I am being truly cockold.

Not sure if this makes senses, but it is the best way for me to describe it.

I have never asked her what she is thinking as she is getting fucked. Maybe I do not want to know. We never really talk about what goes on in this lifestyle.

I guess I am afraid of what I might learn. Maybe I am coward which could explain why I was forced to be a unknown cuckold in my first marriage and why I sought it out now. I wonder sometimes if I think I deserve to be a cuckold.

I so appreciate that you take the time to respond to me and provide guidance. It is the primary reason I joined this site as I needed a sounding board for where my head was and is and how I feel. Guys like you who take the time to help guys like me are incredible, so I thank you. It helps me think through my feelings and self-doubt. I guess I feel like I am damaged somehow from the trauma I experienced with my first wife’s cheating on me. It was truly devastating and to make it worse, my wife purposely got herself pregnant by her lover. It would have been one thing if she ended up pregnant by her lover, as that does happen and I am sure there are guys raising kids that they did not father, but my wife and her lover planned her pregnancy. That hurt even more then her taking another guy’s cock in her cunt.

So I am cautious I guess. But in my present situation, everything is out in the open. My new wife fucks another guy, I know it, I see it and I initiated it. I know my wife loves me (yes there is still self-doubt, but that is my problem) and we are very committed to each other. My wife does not seem to want to talk about the sex with him, and maybe she does not want to hurt me by telling me how she feels about him (it is her ex husband).

I do not think I want anything in this cuckold relationship to stop. My wife sucking his cock is part of sex. She has sucked mine, not that often and not like she sucks his cock, so there is nothing wrong with her sucking him. It is my problem or the more I think about, maybe I want those feelings as it shows I still am a “normal” husband, that I should not want my wife having sex with another guy. But deep down, I am a cuckold, love being a cuckold.

A psychologist probably would probably say I am fucked up, but if being this ways is fucked up, then I love being fucked up.

Thank you. You sound like an incredible alpha male and you deserve to be worshipped by a cuckold and his wife.

I do not feel abused but as I have commented to TransStar, I feel I am a damaged man. What my first wife did to me definitely fucked me up. But in the end it opened up a door I would never have dreamed I would walk through and much less desired. Being a cuckold has given me a sense of fulfillment. Maybe because I have taken back control that I was not able to do in my first wife. I initiated my current wife to take a lover, I made myself a cuckold. It has opened up a whole new world of sexual desires and exploration. Sex is no longer just perfunctory but an exploration of sexual activity, desires, emotions (whether ecstatic or demeaning). It is freeing in a way, both for me and for my wife. I can see now the joy it brings to my wife to just be a sexual being to her ex. I want that for her.

Not wanting to have certain conversations with my wife, is my problem, not hers. Yes I know she prefers to not discuss it as I think she just wants it to “just be”. It is just sex. I am the one who has created my own anxiety and I am the one who has to learn how to deal with it. I know she loves me and wants to be with me, that I am her husband, but self doubt is a terrible thing. I am not sure even if we discussed it and she reassures me that I am the one she wants that it would take away my concerns.

But where we are sexually is where I know I want to be. Him in our lives is great.

You get me, you totally get me. LOL But yes, what you have assessed is true. I was devastated when my wife told me she was pregnant with another guy’s kid, that she had been fucking him for a couple of years, that she loved him and she was divorcing me. And when I found out the pregnancy was planned, that I had been lied to about the chronic yeast infection so I would not fuck her so she could come off the pill and he could knock her up, my whole world feel about.

They say infidelity can be overcome in a marriage, that it is hard and can take quite a long time, but it can be possible. In my case, him purposely knocking her up destroyed any possibility of a reconciliation. But more importantly, she did not want to be married to me any longer.

Maybe I should have gotten counseling, but here I am, a self made cuckold. I don’t think of it as protecting myself, but I have to admit that you are very perceptive.

Wow, thank you for your analysis of what drives a woman when it comes to sex. I am sure there are those who would say what you wrote is very sexist, but I think you are right on. It is clear my wife wants to be dominated by him, used sexually, giving him the sexual pleasure he craves. I would say the same was true for my first wife, she submitted to him, gave him what he wanted, including a baby while we were still married.

The perspective you have provided on my wife does help me and something I need to keep in mind. I love my wife and want her to be happy, especially sexually. He does that for her more than I can. I wonder when they were married if the sex was as intense and primal as it is now, or the fact that they are no longer married makes it just about the sex without the commitment.

I imagine I will always be jealous of him to some extent, after all I am still a guy.