before you go in too deep consider the following

I find it a bit puzzling that when this topic gets brought up, it seems to be something that is atypical, “husband fantasizes about the wife being a hotwife and doesn’t know how to get her on board” but there are so many other reasons why couples go in this direction. Because of this, one size does not fit all when the conversation happens.

sometimes the husband is on board way before the wife even knows what cuckolding is. This seems to be the most commonly spoken about.

Sometimes the wife is unhappy with the relationship in some manner, and she begins to seek excitement and fulfillment elsewhere. Then the topic is brought up as a means of preventing the ship from sinking.

There are times when both parties do not have any particular qualms against it and are just looking for some new life experiences.

and of course, there are times when it is based on an abusive or controlling relationship.

There of course are many other reasons that create the impetus to go in this direction, but for each unique reason, the conversations need to be different. Also, depending on the personalities and life experiences of each person, the conversations need to be different.

With that being said, I think it is important to be careful about what advice you take and from what source. What worked for the Joneses next door will not probably work for you. Your relationship is unique and your hangups are also very personalized.

What you are expecting compared to what you will be getting are two different things. Sometimes fantasy can remove you from rational thought. You will not be able to see problems before it is too late.

This may sound like something strange to say but, if you have a good enough relationship with your spouse, then you will already know how to present the topic as well as if they would be on board or not even before you ask. Advice is not needed.

If you feel you need advice, then I would suggest getting to know your spouse better before bringing this divisive topic up.

Let’s say you did bring the topic up, and now you both are playing with the idea. You need to remember some basic human nature.

1. people will only do something if there is a reward in it.
2. people avoid hurt and loss.
3. people want what they don’t have.

if either of the two does not want it, fears some kind of loss or hurt, and does not see any reward then you are walking into nothing but problems. all three of these things need to be met before you go any further.

Most of the time one person wants it more than the other. This cannot be the case.

both people need to clearly see the reward in it for both parties and strongly believe in it.

both people need to have complete confidence that no loss or hurt will happen. If it does, they have a fail-safe to tend to it before it gets out of hand.

both people need to want it. Their reasons can be their own, but they both need to want to seek this out. when it is only one person, and the other is hesitant, you are asking for problems.

So after you have brought up the topic, review these things with each other. If at any time one seems to stumble on an answer then more work needs to be done before continuing.

It is not about trying to convince the other, it is about a democratic decision being made between the two because there is reward in it for both. If you feel like you are using sales pitches, or just saying things to get what you want, then you are walking into disaster.

The conversation takes care of itself when you enter this with the proper mindset. everything will take care of itself. It isn’t a chess game or Monty Hall on Let’s Make a Deal. Even though it sounds silly, it is more like deciding on where you want to spend your vacation, and what you will do while you are there. would you go to Hawaii and try to convince your spouse to only do what you want to do? I would hope not.

It isn’t a race, and if it feels like it is, then you need to take a step back and try to figure out why this is so important to you. It shouldn’t be that important. It should be more like, “One of these days we should go get pizza at that new place.” and not like, “I want you to go parachuting with me over a live volcano by the end of this week!”

If you take heed to what I say, you will see everything will fall into place easier than you think. The problems you will face will be minimal.

I wish you all the best.