Cuckold widow seeks dominate lady and her lover

Im 28 years old, single and live on my own with my two small children. When my wife passed away last year from cancer, I was so devastated I was on self destruct mode. I drank, snorted lines and barely left the house. My couldn’t take care of my kids so they stayed at my aunt’s. I didn’t wanna love anymore, felt guilty and ashamed for neglecting my kids. I didn’t see any friends and I quit my job. I was pathetic.
My drug dealer, an illegal immigrant from Nigeria, was the only social contact I had. I would call him up at least twice a day. Soon I had him run a tab, because I was broke. He was cool though and enphatetic to my loss.
Sometimes he’d stay at my place longer than usual, have a few beers and talk. We became friends but he still needed the money I owed him. I kept delaying my payments, while adding more to my tab. He kept joking around telling me he’s going to make me sick his dick if I don’t pay him but he kept giving me coke for free. I havent had sex in months. The thought of this big black dude fucking my mouth, to feel another human body, man or woman, turned me on. Eventually I hit the limit and he couldn’t give me anymore coke until I paid him back. I was desperate and willing to do anything at that point. I never felt more determined in my life when he made he kneel in front of him and pulled out his big piece of black flesh erected towards me. He fucked my mouth so deep I vomited and swallowed a few times. Tears went down my face from gagging and fighting the urge to vomit. But I was determined to keep going, to keep sucking. To give in to something I always knew deep down but never did. It was then, right here in my living room, in front of my wife’s shrine, where I found clarity with my inner self. The man’s flesh pumping semen in my mouth gave me sense of purpose, a sense of empowerment and a sense of duty. I felt obligated to swallow. And if i had to swallow enough to settle my debts, I would swallow more. After he came he patted my head and said “oh boy”. He never came back again. Ever since, I’ve been looking for a woman I could share this experience with. A woman who would make me go down on my knees and suck dick for her and his amusement. A woman who would grant me her affection despite how pathetic and worthless I am.
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