Discussing the why question

One of the most daunting matters that arise when a guy recognises that he is drawn to the cuckold lifestyle concerns how best to discuss the why question. ‘Why are you like this?’ Whilst I think that some of cuckold lifestyle preference may be hard wired (your sexuality) much else is learned. Both men and women develop preferences and needs based around what they have experienced before-that which becomes deeply arousing. Fetishes for example are I think learned behaviour-the object becomes associated with erotic ideas through pivotal experiences in the past. Talking honestly about sex and learning may be one way to help a lady understand the cuckold take on life and facilitate her review of what she finds most attractive or needful too. Great marriages are based on such shared learning. Rather than post a Freudian epistle then, here are two explained experiences that I have heard, those that became part of a honest and fruitful conversation within cuckold lifestyle reviewing marriages.

‘Edward’-When I was back in first year college my girlfriend was taken off me by one of the older guys, someone who played college level rugby. It was like watching a movie that I couldn’t control. I wasn’t an actor or editor, I was just the reviewer who watched transfixed as the guy took interest in Annette and she inevitably fell under his spell. He started to date her, my girl, and then there came a rugby tour that she said she was going to accompany him on. I trembled the day I watched her climb on the coach to join him and the others. I asked softly, ‘Is he fucking you yet’ and she kissed me and said, ‘sorry…yes…let’s talk when I get back.’ We did talk too, later and for a few weeks I said that I would hang on if that was what she would allow. Whilst she tried out their relationship. She asked me whether I ‘wanked off’ thinking about them getting it on, she was clearly intrigued about such male sexuality. I admitted that i did, and she said calmly ‘good…at least you’re not pretending to yourself…that you can compete with him’. I couldn’t forget the words, her words, linked to his looks, his physique. I sent me down the maelstrom, realising to my horror that this was actually sexy.’

‘Arthur’-I remember back in my teen years, that I was always in awe about people who were more instinctive, elemental about sex. You didn’t analyse it, you didn’t fret about every detail, you recognised your needs, noted when they matched someone else’s and you fucked. That was it, the ‘f’ word. The girls who I lusted after, the girl’s who I desperately wanted, even if only to admire and worship were the girls who talked about fucking. Sometimes they said that they had fucked a guy and I guess they meant they had used him. Sometimes though they talked about ‘having the fuck of their life’ and then I knew he had been on top-she had submitted to something monumental. That drew me to such honest and explicit women, to my wife. I hadn’t rehearsed it back then, but I needed to think of her being that instinctive still, insisting on that fun when she needed it. It made me hard downstairs.’

See what you think? If it helps out, I’ll follow on with some experiences that hotwives have shared, from their background. They’re simply remembered insights.