- This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 8 months ago by
LV_cuckpantyhubby.
LV_cuckpantyhubby.-
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Coffee
Hey there! I’ve been a long time lurker, occasional contributer, and the site has helped me deal with my initial interest, and my cuckold journey over the past 4 or 5 years.
In that time I have experienced various levels of anxiety for a myriad of different reasons which I am sure if you are here, you understand, no matter if you are a cuckold, bull or wife.
I have read through the articles and experiences of members here time and time again, and it has taken a long time to sink in because some of the time, I let myself think it’s all bullshit, and to snap out of it. Well.. if you are here and wondering that, it’s really not.
Some things are certainly left to personal preference with the lifestyle but sooner or later, I feel like we all have to come to terms with who we are. The best part of it is when you get there, you will be happier than you think, at least I am!
I have gone through all the ropes, personal disgust, unfair anger towards my fiance, and our long term bull. I am blessed that they are both very patient, understanding, and patient people.
Today I am happy to say, that I truly believe I have found peace, and have been able to extend absolute trust, and love in my fiance, and our bull as well. All from the hard work we have all our in , and the social norms I decided aren’t compatable with who we are.
I have experienced
+ Jealousy
+ Self doubt
+ Self judgement
+ Depression
+ Self hatred
+ Overwhelming inadequacy feelings
+ Pregnancy scares
… And a whole lot of ungrounded fear.We have taken breaks, had a roller coaster of experiences, but I guess knowing that the woman I love isn’t ever going anywhere, and at the end of the day, if she had to choose, she would choose me over this whole thing.. But, as I’ve come to learn, that’s not something either of us want. We could live without cuckolding, but it would take away more than it could give.
For some time now I have been pussy free, not counting one or two rare experimental situations, I have been pussy free for 2 years. This was the year I learned that it’s something I love, and something that has made us both happier, for some very complicated reasons.
It’s likely that I won’t ever fuck my wife to be ever again. And I dislike the thought of trying to, as it’s not who I am, and there’s really no need for her to have to offer any pity sex
I’m secure and happy to let them and their sexuality flourish with eachother in whatever way works best for them. And I’m truly happy that this connection exists. I’m a cuckold, and my journey has rid me if the societal pressures that have prevented me from allowing me to feel what I really feel about our lifestyle. That I love it, and get just as much enjoyment from it as she does.
We still have our physical intimacy that exists in a way that neither party is pressured or forced to do in a fake , or pity way, and the organic love that comes from it makes me incredibly happy.
I’m just happy that for as long as it has taken, I’m happy to just love myself for who I am, who they are and let our life together run its course guilt free.
🙂
Even the scariest result of a cuckolding marriage I have mulled over again and again, and through having two close pregnancy scares, and the way we have communicated. I know that if it ever does happen, that everything will be fine, and fear is the only real obstacle. If we get a blessing from their partnership, I am the father, and biology won’t change that. This is something that will likely occur as it aligns with how we have developed in the lifestyle.
That being said, it’s still scary, and something I’ll have to continue to prepare for , and be ready to responsibly handle with lots of patience, respect, and understanding for everyone involved (including myself).
If you have read through my experience, thanks for doing so!
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PandG
Thank you for sharing. I understand so many of the emotions you’ve gone through and I envy you greatly for getting to the other side and finding the happiness that you’ve found – congratulations!
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Bellaazz
Congratulations ! Many of us have different paths to similar journeys. Those that are successful are the very best !
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Coffee
Thanks!
it’s been awhile since I wrote this post, and everything is still going well!It’s weird how things fall into place, and how close we have all become.Have some occurances of interest that kind of point to how natural it all really is. and how secure we all feel.
Once the cuckolding elements of life fall into the background, and it becomes the norm, the fear really does go away. it’s new, it’s scary, there’s uncertainty, but time seems to fix everything.
We still cuddle, make out, occasionaly do oral. But. Other than that, sex is a huge no no for her and I as stated months ago. A month ago or so, we had some drinks, I got a little frisky, and she rolled with it, but it was weird. The discomfort was underlying on both ends. It was something we both felt, and it’s not the first time this happened.
We chopped it up to the boyfriend being way too integrated, and our lifestyle taking place that actual intercourse for her and I is not a thing at all.
That being said, no woman in my life has ever been as supporting, caring, or devoted to me. Npne of this happened without consent all around. I’m just not the sexual ying to her yang, and that’s fine.
Love and sex arent the same. This is too true, and I think I got in my own way so much in the past thinking that isnt true. Our experiments have led us to having a degree of honesty with eachother that I dont think many couples have, there is no guessing with us, I know what she wants, and how she feels about me. There is something amazing about having all the unfiltered cards on the table.
It does border poly in a small way but, it works for us. As an individual who derives so much from being a cuckold, I am content and happy with her and him being exlusive sexually.
We did finally discuss what happens, and our fears regarding the natural fear if a bun ends up in the oven.
to cut it short, as aloooot of talk went into it. If it ever happens, it is 90% probable it wont be because of me. And (no surprise) their biggest fear is what it would do to me, and how i would deal.
Which you know.. After being a cuck for so long, it doesn’t seem odd, strange, or outlandish for this kind of thing to happen. As long as nothing else changes, and our relationship to eachother remain as it always has been, it really is fine. And there is something still so beautiful about living as honest as we do. It beats bottling up natural feelings and choosing the reluctant paths that so many do in their lives.
Thanks again for reading!
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TransStar
Agree it’s better to have the honest discussion and to morph into a relationship where all are content. No sex is better than having crappy sex.
Definitely understand how she can love you but want great orgasms, too. She no doubt appreciates that you are mature enough to help her get what she needs.
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LV_cuckpantyhubby
100% agree! I know I am small and can’t stay hard for more than 5 minutes at a time. I felt guilty I couldn’t satisfy the wife. She did eventually agree to my suggestion of cuckold and seek the sex she was needing for 15 years!
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Coffee
PandG
Bellaazz
TransStar
LV_cuckpantyhubby
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