Genetic Propensity

I completely agree with your wife; those who engage in cuckolding aren't the aberration, we are the biological norm.

If she hasn't read my guide on The Biology of Cuckolding, she may enjoy the read. I'm not an evolutionary biologist by training, but I don't think it takes too much formal training to see the obvious.

It's not just males who lead or follow, it's all of us. Females simply go about that process in a different manner. Where males tend to be direct in their leadership or even their following, women are more subtle and employ devices of emotion and situation.

It's also my belief there are really no born alpha males; the alpha is simply promoted to that status by his peers. Where he might be alpha in one community, he may not be so recognized elsewhere. This is true throughout the animal kingdom, so why shouldn't it be true for us?

I think I'd really enjoy some conversation with your wife. I've long believed a lot of our social ills stem from the conflict of who we are wired to be and what we're told to be by shifting societal norms, religion & 'education'. Most of us can work out ways to handle those conflicts, but there are always some who cannot.

Always a student of human behavior, I have also been fascinated with marketing and what we've learned about ourselves as a species through it – yet ignored in a meta context. Isn't it fascinating that to market to males you should use models who epitomize masculinity, yet to market to women, you cannot employ overtly feminine models. This was pointed out to me years ago in my first marketing class in college; find me a commercial where the woman has no more than a B cup and I'll find you an ad targeted at women. Start watching ads with this in mind and you'll see that's true much more often than not.

Our genes play a role in everything we are and do – even if we can roll our tongue or if bright sunlight makes us sneeze. We are truly a strange organism!

I certainly agree social environment makes tha alpha male or not!

I found out that iam sexually rather submissive.

One particular thing that i remember is the following:
years ago my dad showed me a house in his old neighbourhood.
“there lived back in the day a girl that was hot n horny” he said.
“I could really do here if i wasnt shy, green, and holding back”
On that moment i realised why i was like that!!! He was my example!!!
He raised me.

I believe if i had for instance, a alpha male dad, i would have possibly more natural
sexual agressiveness towards women.

I am not an evolutionary biologist either but I have graduated in social science nas psychology some time ago. The views you express are the “nature v nurture ” debate which has raged in psychology for decades without conclusion. There is absolutely no doubt that people are influenced by their upbringing , how could they not be, we are influenced temporarily by watching a movie of pure fantasy. We are also to some degree I believe social animals maybe to a high degree therefore we may have social leaning genes within us i.e. survival stratagies based on getting along with others and even possibly situations where some are leaders and some are followers. All this would be very difficult to prove as a poper test group would need to be set up and last a liftime on a desert island to even begin to satisfy the requirements of such a test. I am surprised your wife has used survial of the fittest in these terms as the term in pure biological language refers to survival of the fittest genes. Fit genes and non fit genes vary depending on the natural challenge. As an example if the atmosphere were to change to a degree that there was a bit more oxygen than normal if that percentage killed 80% of the human race but 20% possessed a gene which could cope the 20% would survive. They are not as such fitter just luckier. However if the atmosphere did not change no one would know. Circumstances can make the alpha male he may have been rejected by some woman and hurt therefore descended into male company and was generally dismissive of females. Some competitve females may want to tame him just because they can. My view of cuckolding is that it is a sexual fetish for those who like sexual entertainment. Some peope think it is morally wrong to be sexually entertained and others are disguted by the idea of the same.A number of folk howeve have discovered the highs they can achieve by using the bodies natural hormones and so on to create pleasure. We were most likely not made to do this. Once you accept you are happy to be sexually entertained then lots of things follow for some it is undewear fetishes, for others male feminisation and for others cuckolding with loads of other things in between.However cuckolding is a fetish within a fetish and those who actively pursue fetishes are quite in a minority of the population. Taks thissite for example, google cuckolding and there is a good chance this site will come up, and this is global a potential viewing of hundreds of millions of people. Yet there are very few on here at any given time. That should indicate just how far into the minority this activity is. The cuckolding we talk about here tells nothing about human behaviour and not even that much about trends in sexual entertainment. If I were to hazard a guess I would say cuckolding occupies less than one hundredth of a percent of the human population’s thought process. I do know however that those who have been cuckolded, like me for real, will search every site available to find an answer to their unanswerable question. which is ” why did she do it ” when they really know she fell in love with another man a proces sshe let happen as she were not committed where she was or she had a low sense of direction and forward planning or she really did not love the man she was with. Yes it is comforting to think it was your parents fault as your dad was not alpha enough and so on but it isnt true women can love gentle submissive men just as much as arrogant alpha males love is different and very pleasant to be on the receiving side of. It is even less understood than cuckolding and much more available effecting nearly all the worlds population at one time or another. Therefore when you loose it or never had it you really have lost out as large numbers of people are in pleasant love with each other for lifetimes. In conclusion cuckolding for real is not good and cuckolding for entertainment is just that but beware you are using something potentially very supportive and loving extracting that from it in the search for the high of sexual entertainment.

A recent study was released from the Kansas State University and the National University of Singapore.   There is a gene called the “10-repeat allele” which in essence creates a tendency for those with the gene to be leaders.  That is in addition to being rule breakers and adventurers.  We are all made up of a mix of genes and their dominance is effected by competing genes and life experience.

With regard to survival of the fittest, aside from the dominant men who got to spread their seed everywhere, there had to have been other factors affecting our genes.  There were women who were able to continue reproducing because they were able to submit to conquerors.  There were men who’s children survived because they were able to share their wives with stronger or more powerful men.  There were men who spread their seed because they were able to submit to the wife’s of slave owners or even business owners.

Sexuality has always been a fascinating topic for me and some things are clear.  Women can out fuck men every time.  The early laws and biblical writings show that the men who made the rules found women to be out of control with sexual desire. When society became paternalistic and property rights were an issue, it was time to put some restraints on the ladies. But female sexuality was pretty strong and not easily eradicated from the genes.

I’m pretty certain that I have a good dose of that leadership gene since I have always been a leader, from childhood groups to my first job and most of my career being a supervisor and on up in administrative hierarchy.  I have absolutely no desire to be dominated by other men, to tolerate any insults and definitely not to give up any opportunities for sex with my wife.  She has plenty of libido for me and other men.  Depending on the scenario I am able to respect my wife’s desire and that of her boyfriends for them to be together while I give them space.

When I had health issues and could not keep up with my wife’s needs I began to consider her needs more.  I also began to consider what I was raised to avoid.  The fact that women are very sexual.  I suspect my wife has more than her share of those nymph genes.  Since I am older than her,  and with some health problems, it’s clear to me that she has needs to be met by more than just myself.  It took a while to get through the jealousy etc but now I can actually enjoy seeing her get ready for a date and being satisfied by other men. She hasn’t done it lately but she has done quite a bit of “cuckolding” over the past few years, sometimes even against my wishes when she and her boyfriend couldn’t get enough of each other. .  She loves MFM so even when another man is involved, I am not necessarily left out.  Since some of my health issues have improved, we have great sex together but I suspect not often enough.   I also realize that the other men have th advantage of not playing the home field.  It’s an accepted fact that a new lover has the advantage at giving a woman stronger orgasms.  I am hoping that I have enough of the submissive genes to give her the room she needs if she meets another guy she enjoys sex with.  I recognize the fact that I may need to adjust to her dating and playing sometimes without me. 

I have been amazed at some of the insights from this site that reinforce and clarify some of the experiences we have had.  We had never even heard of a cuckold or a hotwife when we decided to explore swinging but because of my health and age, bang, this makes more sense.  I can’t see spending any of my sexual stamina on other women.  My wife on the other hand has plenty of libido.

Age can suck but I wish we had started swinging much sooner.