GF agreed, now what?

gfawkes,

She finds this guy the same way she found you – by dating, by letting nature take it’s course when a female is appealing to the males around her and they react to that attraction,thereby creating courtship. It’s not unusual for couples to assume there’s some special way to look for this experience, but the truth is, good ol’ fashioned flirtation does the job very well.
Unless she’s kept locked away in a cave somewhere, she’s likely around men on a daily basis. This may primarily be through her workplace, but that’s ok. There are some caveats to workplace romances, but they aren’t something to discount. In addition to her work and other routine destinations where she can and should interact with guys, you should both look to find other opportunities to socialize her and put her in circumstances where she can behave as a sexually available woman. This is the process that develops trust and confidence in the guy she’s dating and enables you both to feel he will respect being an addition to your relationship and not a replacement.

It’s definitely crucial that she be able to develop a bond with her bull. This is key in the experience you two will have as a cuckold couple and a requirement in order that she have the safety and well-being necessary for her to be alone with him.

You’re on the right track suggesting she handle him directly to ensure he’s adequately hung. This doesn’t have to take the form of her jerking him off – instead, it should be part of her flirtation. It’s not only ok, but suggested that she be the sexual aggressor (the one to initiate kissing, petting). Because she should have already told this guy that she has a boyfriend who lets her date others (don’t have to explain you also encourage it) having her be the one to help herself to a handful of his cock should establish that she’s serious about taking this to a physical level AND give her the opportunity to judge his equipment and responsiveness. If this guy is put off by that, he’s never going to be a good fit as her bull anyway. She should tell herself that if she comes home from a first date without being able to tell you what his cock felt like in her hand, then she must not like the guy enough to take it physical. If she does like him enough and things are working in that direction, then she’s expected to be able to tell you what his cock is like before they have their first real date. A first real date doesn’t come with the expectation of sex, but rather the expectation of building intimacy and trust between them. If the first date ends in them coupling, so be it – if not, that’s also ok – it’s up to them, up to her to set that pace, not you.

Don’t set yourself up for failure/disappointment by expecting a first encounter with someone else will be in the form of a threesome – you’re assuming way too much. The guy, while accepting of you being aware/involved is likely to not be very experienced with the idea and will not be comfortable with you present at first. Pushing that to a requirement and you could basically ruin the experience for everyone. The threesome you’ll have is meeting together publicly so he can understand he’s an addition to things, not a replacement. During this public meet, your gf should take the lead between you two in order to clearly establish to her bull that she has you under control and you’re not a threat to him. Jealous men are dangerous men, so until the bull is comfortable that the cuckold is as excited by the prospect of him dating her as she is, he’ll be reluctant to relax. Keep in mind that every situation is different and it may work out that she needs to have a few ‘public’, casual dates with him to have the time to explain how all this works and get him ready to meet you and take the next steps.

Luvr gives the expert opinion here-and it seems very wise to me.

Its worth thinking about that friend point. At first it can seem attractive to arrange something that is strictly physical and circumscribed and immediately threesome. Luvr is right to point out that the last is a big ask. Even experienced bulls like to find their way first, to enjoy the lady and test out whether the husband might be co operative. I haven’t met many women who can long enjoy sex with a second man and see it as strictly a physical release. They like to know something of the guy’s attitudes and reasoning-why he does this. At the very least its about safety (could he be a health risk) and its about respecting why you as a couple explore these things. If he is Mr Ego and nothing else, then he could be extremely dangerous. Again and again luvr argues the point about considerate but masculine bulls- its the central point and why `i contribute here.

So think its worth exploring some things about a prospective bull. Let;’s assume that you have found him socially, rather than through a dating agency/ad.

1. When your wife admits that she is married but excited by possibilities with other men, is he interested in why that is? If all he sees is a bedroom opportunity, is he Mr Right? I’d venture not! A good bull is going to contribute to you both. He only does that if he understands something about what turns you guys on.

2. When you’re out socially, does he seem confident with you as well as your wife? He isn’t a long standing friend but he will if he is sincere, test out opportunities to enjoy her and arouse you.I sometimes say to a husband if we’re in a club, ‘I’m going to borrow this lady for a dance or two, no problems with that is there?’ Your correct response of course is to acquiesce and to enjoy the look of arousal on your wife’s face. As luvr says, it’s dating thing. I might sometime later say, ‘I’m driving over to the coast for the day and plan to take Carol (or other name).’ Notice how the ‘don’t mind’ bit is dropped. Once I know she likes my company I don’t consult the guy. Once when I did, and we’d got past that point, the lady said, ‘oh of course I’d love to come, John doesn’t mind’ (nice put down). You could ask how do such guys get so cocky, and the answer is that we read women’s body language. Women signal their arousal, even if that is regards teasing you. We read you too-the way you accept everything that she says, the way you run errands, fetching the drinks.

3. Some time later, perhaps she has had a social date with him, she should ask him, you fuck married women- why? I hope that you want to know he understands himself and is honest about the same. My answer would be, ‘because I am turned on by the bitchy way that married women behave then. I like the way they take more and have a husband accept things.’ If he has got to know your wife he shouldn’t fudge that. He should be open and clear about his agenda. Notice how this doesn’t exclude you the husband. If I were the guy to partner your wife, it would be because there was a rapport for sure, a chemistry, but it would be because of what she did to you through this. For me, its a signal that says-I want my thing to be part of your thing too. I’m not about robbing wives and that for most girl’s is key. They are turned on by being a more wanton, siren like woman, but they rightly abhor the thought of abandoning someone who has gifted that.

Enough said-back to the master of the blog and someone more expert than me.
Jezz

I’ll guess you’re Guy! Thanks for admitting the rest of us into your thoughts and reflections. Your candour does you credit.

Your points about the right bull and your rollercoaster emotions are I suspect linked. They should be too. A mature bull, who understands and uses his prowess AND who imagines the impact that this will have on the hotwife and the cuck is essential. He has to be able to talk with her about your shared fantasies. He works to help her discover her deeper and occasionally darker sexual desires. Some hotwives are startled by what they discover-the need to feel so wanton, perhaps publicly, the need to put another man down whilst going with the more attractive/able male (the rut is alive today for humans too). Couples vary in what is hot for them-the menu mix. So things have to proceed by steps as Luvr’s posts emphasize and through that trust develops. Slowly she trusts him to trigger her deeper needs, to enjoy being more instinctive about sex. She understands that the bull will not push too far or too fast-as she has to manage you as well. She will not want to lose you through the gift you give. The chance to explore her sexuality to the full can be a pandora’s box. She knows that so well. So she watches and listens to her bull, how he facilitates her explorations, which in turn directs yours-your submission to her choice in these things, her right to redefine sex in some degree or other. Its a series of discoveries. Perhaps (and remember I surmise-those variants again), she discovers that she enjoys teasing you most of all, talking about her bull, being with her bull, going out with him. She wants you firmly in the chase, but perhaps always lagging a bit behind. So she asks her bull, can we take my hubby on dates and flirt in front of him-that is so sexy for me and it makes him ache oh so deliciously, that we have great sex later. A mature bull says sure-and they date in front of the husband, kissing and touching and petting. You could say the bull is ‘used’, but its a consensual and a mutually satisfying thing. Later, when he takes her he will have his own buzz regarding bettering you.

The angst thing is normal and its a certain thing that ejaculating triggers some doubts about the cuckold way. You’re about to submit to her desirers, her rules, and that’s arousing because it makes you want her so much more. Its a good thing then when she learns to deny you in a mix of different ways, so that you don’t plunge so often into those doubts. You will learn to concentrate on your lady and her pleasures-as it should be.