How we got into the scene

I’m often asked, when I’m in the chatroom, how we got into the scene, was it my idea or my wifes (Claire)? It was neither.

After 13 years together and 3 kids later, our levels of intimacy dropped and our sex life dwindled to almost nothing. Throw in developing PE which meant on the rare occasions we had sex it was over quickly. This caused anxiety for me, and my wife’s enthusiasm for it, because she was getting nothing out of it, reached a low.

The knock on effect was that we are off to each other, constant tension and relations weren’t good. It was very much touch and go for a spell as to whether or not our marriage might end.

Around Spring 2018 my wife went on her cousins hen party in central london, where there was a male stripper. Nothing happened with my wife and the stripper, but I asked in the morning how did the evening go. At this point i had no idea there was a male stripper. Claire was quite matter of fact and told me that there was a stripper and blurted out “he was huge”. Without even thinking I offered “would you like one for your birthday”. Claire didn’t say no immediately.

Nothing further happened at this point, but the thought had sowed a seed in my head and, as I found out later on, in Claires too. Although neither of us discussed with other.

Fast forward around a month to the wedding, and I overheard Claire and the women that attended hen party, discussing the night and of course the stripper. Claire and I were a bit drunk and back at the room I asked “If i was 100% okay with it, would you like a night with someone like that stripper” and this time she didn’t dismiss it simply questioning if i was serious. I said “yes” but she didn’t believe me.

So I rephrased it “If I was 100% cool with it, and you knew I was, what then” and she said “yeah, I think I would but only if it didn’t cause issues in our marriage”

And it took off from there. We didn’t have our first meet up until January 2020, so it took 2 years to get comfortable with the idea, and also find the right partner. Our first experience was incredibly surreal, but went well. A fair bit of awkwardness, but once we overcame that we started to enjoy it. And then COVID! Put everything on hold and the timing was dreadful. 2 years building up, and then stopped.

Anyway, that is the background to our story. There is a lot more subsequent, but reading this saves me writing it in chat.