New seeking advice

The wife and I have talked about ‘the lifestyle’ several times and I think she believes that I am baiting her so I can have an open relationship but ultimately I’m really turned on by the thought of her with another guy. Anyways, yesterday it was slipped that her coworker single female, invited her on her date (guy is also bringing a married friend). I was excited about her potentially going on a double date, she invited me to go also but her friend invited other ‘ladies” to go along, no more mention of me attending (I think in an attempt to keep me out of the picture). Thoughts. She has been furious with me in the past when people have put me in that spot, I told her it was ok, I was cool with it. What else should I say? How far should I encourage it / let it go?