She made my wish come true, but now we are stalled.

Hello! This is the first time I have ever really openly spoken about my journey, but I am going to share to get some feedback and some help as I am now stuck.

I am a married 40 year old male to wonderful 35 year old woman who I love deeply. When we started seeing each other we were hot and heavy into some really fun sex, and I became very open with her as did she with me. It was at this time that i started to share my long time fantasies about the wife sharing / cuckolding lifestyle. For me it started in my teens, as I had / have been cheated on many times and never did anything about it because secretly i loved it. I knew my girlfriends where cheating, one was so bold to call me for a ride in the middle of the night to pick her up from her friends’ place, I played dumb but knew exactly what was going on. I could never say anything as I thought it was wrong, I was supposed to be mad and upset and end the relationship but deep down I loved the feeling i had of knowing she was with someone else. The relationships would end as sex between the girlfriend and I would become less frequent as I wanted her to be with other guys and come back home to me to enjoy the look in her eyes, and smell she had after having sex.

It took me a long time to open up to the woman I married, her name is Chelsea, but I did, it started out that we would have too much to drink, end up in one of our marathon sex nights where we would have sex everywhere in our house and on everything. During these nights of marathon sex (what we called it anyways) I made a joke about how I wanted her to be the topless server at one of my poker nights so all my buddies could see how beautiful she is. she laughed and said and what would happen if they touched me!? to which I responded, I don’t know, would you like that? and she replied with a simple “maybe!”

As time went on while we were having sex the dirty talk would move into the fantasy of betting her in poker and the winner gets to have her, she would talk about how hot it would be to have someone else and there was nothing I could do about it because I lost her in poker. this would make me cum instantly and she would pick up on that right away, because the conversations moved from in the bedroom to the couch. We would sit back and have some drinks after work on Friday, then we would start to get touchy and the conversation would start to go to having someone else have sex with her. I would become instantly hard and she knew this was something I had fantasized about. The talk would get dirtier until it was all about talking about someone else, and how much I wished it was someone else fucking her and not me.

One night after way to many beers, we started getting frisky on the couch and she said “Do you want to check out that swingers club we looked at a while ago?” I said “YES, but only if your sure” her answer was “Yeah, we can go, but nothing is going to happen I just want to see what it is about” and with that she got up and went into the bathroom and into the shower. We got ready and called a cab and headed to the swingers club in town. Both nervous we went in and sat in the corner, having some drinks just looking around, go figure the people in the club knew that we were ‘New’. A few couples come over and chatted, the was nothing more then that and we became very comfortable, we hung out there for the night with some couples talking about the lifestyle, at time a couple would leave, go upstairs, have their fun and come back and continue chatting. My wife was taken upstairs to look and she came back down with a smile on her face. We went home and had a mind blowing night of sex until the sun was coming up.

We talked briefly about it the next day and she said it looks like fun, but it won’t happen until after we are married, as she had the same doubts most women would have, that I wanted this so I could be with other women, but I explained that wasn’t the case. We continued to fantasize about it in the bedroom until we were married, and 3 months after that wonderful day that we agreed that it should be my friend who was the guy, she liked how he looked and I trusted him to keep it quiet. It started out with her texting him, sending some nice pictures and then they started talking about sex and what she wanted to do. He of course texted me right away to say “Hey man, your wife is sending me pics of her tits and sexting me!” to which I replied “I know, I’m sitting here with her, she’s not kidding, you should come over and hang out and see what happens”. Ian showed up a couple hours later, and she greeted him at the door topless with a big kiss. He was definitely not expecting it! The look on his face showed that! He came in and sat down and we started having beers, it took a little bit for him to loosen up, we were already drunk and excited for this.

He admitted that he though Chelsea was hot and at that point she stood up turned away and bent over to get him a drink (yes, she should have picked it up off the table and passed it to him, but he would not have gotten the view he did this way). She had this little pair of silk shorts on, very loose fitting and nothing else, and when she bent over to get his beer it was all there to see, she had shaved freshly for him and he just leaned forward was inched away from her pussy, he looked at me and I smiled and he leaned in a kissed it, she passed him his beer, got on her knees and took out his cock and sucked him hard right there! I sat on the end of the couch watching, hard as could be. Ian picked her up and took her to the love seat, pulled her shorts off and dove into her pussy licking and fingering her, she would moan, look at me, then close her eyes and enjoy it. He stood up, stripped naked, put on a condom and fucked her right there! She motioned for me to come over and join, but I just sat there, in awe. When they were done, they moved back to couch and we chatted and had a few more drinks. I said I was going to bed, and Chelsea followed, Ian was going to sleep on the couch.

I layed in bed next to her, telling her how hot it was to watch, how beautiful she was with him. I asked if he was better, if he was bigger, and she said yes to both (as she knew I wanted). Chelsea went to get a water and I layed there in bliss, like I had just lost my virginity. A few minutes went by and then I heard it, the sounds of flesh slapping flesh. I went back out to see what was going on and Chelsea was back on Ian, ridding him again, I stood there watching, cock standing straight up, cum dribbling out. When they finished I quickly ran back to the bedroom, she came in moments later and put my hand on her pussy, it was soaked, and sticky. She said “He came inside me, we forgot the condom! Are you mad?” I moved like lightning down to her to lick her pussy and loved it.

We had a couple smaller nights at the club where she was with someone else, but nothing like the night with Ian. It was a couple years, as we would go to the club every 4 or 5 months. Then. we just stopped. We moved into a bigger house, jobs changed, we gained a little weight… I still think she is beautiful and we still talk about it in bed when we have been drinking, but is where it ends now.

I don’t know how to get back to sharing her, and having her want it again. When we have sex, she says she wants a big cock in her, and not mine, but it ends there now. We don’t have sex like we used it, it used to be all the time, now its every few months.

I have so much more I want to do, I want to get into the full cuckold scene, where he has her boyfriend, and I am only there for her pleasure, if and when she wants it. I want to become her sissy cuckold, locked in chastity and feminized. She doesn’t know about the chastity and feminization part, as right now I fear she might back off even further if I tell her.

Not sure what to do now, as its been 3 years since we last did anything, and I think about it every day, all day.