Marriage Evolved › discussion › Lifestyle Discussions › Getting Started › Should I Let Them Have Fun Without Me?

Tagged: 

Viewing 3 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • HappySubCuckie
      Participant
        September 24, 2025 at 11:23 am
        Post count: 9
        #97783

        Hi All, my wife and I are new to the lifestyle. After a decade without sex she has opened up to having a lover. We have had 3 men and she really loves having a well endowed man pleasure her as I watch. As a sub hubby with a small tool and ED it has really added so much for us.
        The issue is finding the right guy. Scheduling has ended one quickly (he was excellent and bi for me) and now the newest guy is a weekday only, which is hard for me as I work M-F days in my office at home. I like to be a part of it but making a living takes priority. I am struggling with letting them have their time together to make her happy. I would apprciate insights from experienced couples, especially Hotwives. I don’t want to be selfish.

      • Cathy & Jerry
        Participant
          September 29, 2025 at 3:50 pm
          Post count: 262
          #98232

          How long have they been lovers? If it’s been a fair bit of time, give them their alone time, they deserve that. As a woman I can attest to not liking it when my cuckold husband is in the same room as me and my lover. I even prefer that he’s not in the house at all if possible. Having alone time with my lover allows me to let myself go, give myself completely to a much better lover than Jerry, without having those little thoughts that I’m aware of being watched or listened to. If you love her and feel that she truly deserves to have a lover, then she must also deserve her time with him alone. This lifestyle is somewhat for the cuckold but in reality, it’s mainly for the desires and needs of the cuckold’s wife.

        • samuel52
          Participant
            October 2, 2025 at 11:24 am
            Post count: 1
            #98927

            you have to . we all seek wife pleasure so let her do it

          • TK
            Participant
              December 13, 2025 at 3:49 pm
              Post count: 14
              #104667

              Finding the right partner is always a challenge, so when you’ve got one who she really enjoys (and you’re both comfortable with), it’s worth making it work even if the setup isn’t perfect right now. There’s rarely a “perfect” match in every way, scheduling conflicts or preferences are normal.

              Many couples start with the husband always present and gradually open up to solo dates, and they often find it adds even more excitement and closeness to their marriage. It’s completely common to meet some partners for couple-play only, while others end up being more for solo dates for her. That variety can be part of the lifestyle.
              You can still feel involved through photos, audio clips, videos she takes for you, or her coming home and recounting every detail.

              As you said yourself, after such a long time without intimacy, she now needs and deserves the pleasure a well-endowed lover can give her, something you’ve acknowledged you can’t provide. Keep looking for more flexible partners in parallel, but don’t pass up good chemistry over scheduling alone. Give the weekday solo meets a try, you might be surprised how hot it becomes for you too. But of course communication is the most important, always speak up if it doesn’t feel right and adapt. Good luck!

          • Author
            Posts
          Viewing 3 reply threads
          • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.