An Early Start To A Rewarding Lifestyle
Much is said here about the importance of having a strong marriage before exploring cuckolding. Though I have mentioned at times that it’s not the marriage, per se, but the relationship itself that provides the foundation for rewarding cuckolding, I’ll re-phrase it more clearly here.
There’s no reason younger couples with a mature outlook cannot fully embrace this lifestyle well before marriage and enjoy the benefits of it throughout their dating and engagement. Being able to offer your newly-wed Bride to the man who had her last before the wedding and will enjoy her first after the wedding, is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a committed cuckold couple.
Secure The Foundation
she won’t always have that body, so enjoy it now
The majority of couples taking their first steps toward inviting another man to have a role inside their relationship do so after 8 or even 10 years of marriage or more. Some couples take that long simply to overcome guilt and societal oppression against exploring sexuality while for others it becomes a matter of establishing trust and comfort between them with exploration. The reason we tend to think of a marriage as the most secure relationship is because of the multiple external forces at work keeping a married couple together through stressful times. A married couple is bound by law, by family, by finances and often by children. While a casual, dating relationship isn’t likely to have many of these factors, a long-term, committed relationship is and we see more couples living together but putting off marriage for one or more reasons. This shouldn’t preclude them from exploring this area of their sexuality together.
Sharing her without the backstop of a marriage demonstrates enormous trust while proving you can handle not being her only guy.
That said, the unmarried couple must look more closely at their bond and their commitment to it and not take the easy way out should conflict over this lifestyle arise. There will always be conflict of some sort for couples venturing into this lifestyle because of the intense emotional and mental forces at play. Often that conflict can be easily sorted out through communication, but when a couple only has their emotions bonding them and those emotions become strained, rash decisions are easily made.
Ask active hotwives if they wished they could have started much earlier and you’ll almost always be told yes. Ten years ago, I saw very few successful couples under 30 living this lifestyle, but have seen that turn around in the last 5 or so. Younger couples often think of swinging as the most obvious choice for an alternative lifestyle, but as many former swingers will tell you, it’s very difficult to make all the variables fit and in the end, most swing couples are really cuckold couples who didn’t know that was an option.
Longevity
I’ve been asked by younger couples if there’s a risk to becoming bored with the lifestyle by starting out in their 20s. I can’t answer that for every couple, but anecdotally, I’ve encountered many couples who are entering into their second and third decades of hotwife/cuckold experiences. The dynamic of having one or more additional males in the relationship, varied over the course of the relationship/marriage, brings a truly endless number of variations and variables to keep things interesting.
I met my wife when we were both 17 and we married at 21 – I knew right from those early days together that I wished her to be fucked by another man, but it was nnothing more than a masturbation fantasy then. It wasn’t until our early 30s that we began to discuss it, and we waited until late 30s before making it a reality. As mentioned in this article, I suspect our story is hardly unusual in terms of timings. I honestly don’t think I would have been able to deal with my girlfriend/fiancee/wife fucking others back then, for even though it were a fantasy I think jealousy would have intervened. I also don’t think she would have been ready either (although I could be wrong on that). When I look back I do wish that the security that we felt in our 30s was there after a year or so of being together, i.e. in our late teens/early 20s. Like other cuckolding couples we have learned that another man’s cock can actually strengthen a marriage, providing the conditions are right (and that’s the key here). She’s always been a fit looking woman, but if we could turn back the clock, the thought of her tender 19-year old body experiencing a regular supply of thick black cock does cause me to break out in a sweat.. if only!
—-Pre-Marital Commitment or Post-Maritial Commitment—–
—-Always Be Commited to Preparation—-Everyone Benefits—-
Someone said “Imagine”. He was ahead of his times. In those days people were more restricted in their thinking. But, things have changed. And good pioneers like Luvr, actually imagined, and then bravely followed-up. And his site allows us to have the freedom within our minds that challenge the validitity of what we were taught. And why should a man, with a good wife, not have the freedom to Imagine something better, for her, and for himself, and then to make it happen. Before the day of my marriage, I thought about my wonderful girlfriend, now my wife, having sex with someone else. I did not tell her. I imagined her being fucked by a guy with a large and thick cock, for a moment, or two; and, then I pushed this thought away. I fought my own imagination. And I wondered why I became erect at such awful thoughts. I fought my erections and usually lost. I tried not to masturbate while thinking of her with a good-looking stud. And I lost. But times have changed. Luvr has worked wonders. Guys let themselves Imagine their wife/girlfriend receiving the pleasure they need. But there is more to being a cuckold than what porn movies tell us. Luvr has helped us all with that. And so my comments appear below. But for those, who are wondering about the lifestyle of cuckolding……please Imagine…….Imagine yourself helping your wife, maybe she is the mother of your children……maybe the two of you just got married……maybe you two are very young and in the dating process……Imagine……you are helping her get ready for another man to have sex with her. Imagine that once it begins you, will watch, but have no say in it. Imagine……you are helping her prepare for the guy who will provide real pleasure to her. Imagine….that…you are wanting him to make you humble and embarrassed……Imagine….you are jealous and you wonder if his cock will really feel better inside her than your penis….Imagine….you are brushing her hair or massaging her…….and that your penis is as hard as a rock…..as you help her prepare for a better man……Imagine the humilation you will feel…..Imagine….the conflict within you…..and Imagine your erection……Now, Imagine the pleasure that someone else, with a real cock and real stamina, will feel by fucking the woman that promised you and your penis, that only you, would always be the only one……..
If a couple should become enlightened about cuckolding before their marriage begins, the better the information at their disposal, the better chance they will have at success. And should they become enlightened, as to cuckolding, after their marriage begins, the same can be said for success. One of the best tools at the disposal of the couple, is the tool known as: “Preparation”. Actually, I am a “johnny come lately”, because, as you know, Luvr has covered this issue so well. I so agree with him. In my view, it is one of the most important parts of true loving cuckolding. And assisting my wife with her preparation, can be filled with the special, sought after feeling, of humiliation. For me, enouraging my wife to be with another man by helping her get ready, allows me to come to terms with the deep conflict within myself . Please look at the lovely blonde wife in the piece dated February 18, 2013 under “Pre-maritial Commitment”. I assume that she has just gotten ready for her lover. And she looks great. She is prepared for the encounter. And the best case scenario, is that, her loving husband helped her prepare. That he put those pearls around her neck so that a man better than he will be so wanting to fuck her. For my wife and I, preparation has been our savior. Knowing that my wife and I have taken this less traveled road of true cuckolding, can cause much anxiety for me. And to a lesser extent, for her too. She wants our marriage to stay together just like I do. One of the bi-products of me being involved in the preparation of my wife, to be with her lover, is that, it shows her, it makes the signal very clear to her, that I really want this to happen. It lets her know (now and in time to come) that I was not just passively letting this happen and that I am not going to later claim that “I had nothing to do with this happening”. I am showing her that I actually, not only want this to happen, but, that I am a participant in it happening. I have to take responsibilty that it has happened. And it shows my wife, it signals to her, that I get pleasure from the “cuckold marriage process”. When I help my wife prepare, I am helping her look her best for her lover. I want her to look her sexiest, her prettiest. And so, I need to imagine how he, her lover, will see her. When my wife stands before him in her dress, I want him to feel sexual and excited. I want him to want my wife. I want him to kiss her lips like a man should kiss a beautiful deprived wife. My suggesting to her that she wears a particular dress is very much in order. And suggesting a bra that goes with the dress is likewise part of this scenario. Perhaps the dress selected should show clevage, and, her bra must also work in tantum. I like to be naked as I assist my wife in this process. This way she can see my erection. She can see how much I want this to happen. She can see how I truly feel about being part of this cuckold process. Who can argue that my erect penis tells her my story. Helping my wife with the application of her makeup is very provacative. And my penis shows it. Drying her hair and brushing it, so that it looks great for her lover, is something I so enjoy. Of course helping her bathe or shower is an erection producer for sure. Sometimes the preparation process causes my penis to leak. And that is before anything has even happened. Seeing my leakage just adds to reassure my wife of the commitment I feel. It shows her that I am being prepared as well. And my wife enjoys getting me ready. As I assist her, she will bring up how attracted she is to him. if she has been with him before, she will tell me how much larger he feels inside her, than I ever did. I have sometimes masturbated during the process of preparation. She will look at me and smile. And after my climax, my desire, for her to be fucked by another guy, is never diminished as a result of the masturbation. Not one bit. And that tells us both, that I, 100% truly want her to be with another man (as if she even had any doubt left). But there is more good from the preparation process to still mention. The man whom is currently seeing her is very much aware that I help her prepare her for him. This sends a clear message to him that I will offer no trouble at all, and, that I actually want him to have her. But he gets even more out of it when he tells me beforehand how he likes her to look. And by taking his direction, he receives validation of his dominant role. He tells me, the very guy offering his wife, just how he wants her to look. And he can take note that I find this humiliating. Maybe knowing this humiliates me, his lovers husband, helps him with his own erection. And still it gets better: assisting my wife helps bring out my submissive feelings, towards him and her. He is giving me direction so that he will feel pleased, and, she is talking to me while preparing for him, telling me about how great he is sexually; all while I continuing participating in an act, that many would say is against my best interest. But, I know just what is in my best interest; and, it comes as a result of what is in her best interest.
I have covered three different parts of helping my wife prepare. One part is assisting her, and, the second part is watching her prepare. The third part is, helping her dress in accordance with his wishes. These components produce even more benefits for me. Helping her physically, allows me to be in touch with my feminine side. Women like helping another female get ready. Here I am telling her, by my actions, how much I want her to enjoy her date. I’m telling her which lipstick looks best. And which bra looks best. Just like her girlfriend would do. And watching her geting ready for her boyfriend allows me to get really in touch with my feeling of “jealousy”. She is getting herself ready for another man, a better man, a more endowed man, a much better lover than I am. Seeing my wife prepare brings me to the true reality of things. It is humbling in itself. Seeing my wife go thru with all the bother of getting ready, leaves me no doubt that she really feels a need for someone else. It shows me that everything centered around me is no longer in the cards. Yes, very humbling. Assisting my wife in the preparation process allows me time before “she and he” begin their lovemaking to manage my anxiety. This process helps me better see the true excitment connected with being a cuckold. This process causes intense feelings inside myself. It assists me to better manage my anxiety because she is doing the same for me as I am for her. She is helping me prepare. She is allowing for transparency. She is wanting me to be with her while visually sharing how much she needs another man. As I write this, my wife is not here. She is with her friend, well okay, I mean her boyfriend. I love watching him make love to her. But tonight was one of those times. I know, when he returns home, the reserve will occur. The “reverse preparation process” will now be the process for me to hear, and feel, and maybe taste the details. And I will feel humiliated while I listen. My wife will often enourage me to hold her, if I did not watch, upon her return home. She likes me to remove her dress, or blouse, and then her bra. And then she wants my face and lips on her breasts as she tells me about his wonderful cock. I will spend much time at her breasts, sucking and licking and kissing. And she sometimes she will show me, with her finger, spots on her breasts which received his sperm during one of his climaxes. And I will feel even more humiliated as I lick those spots. My wife knows just how to carefully humiliate me in a slow methodical way. My wife understands how humiliated I need to feel. In the morning, when she comes home, I will help undress her. She may tell me that his cock is the best she ever had…..and that my penis envy has lots of reality to it……and the “reverse preperation process” will continue, but, soon enough, in one or two weeks, it will be time to help her prepare………..
P.S.——-Please Do Not misunderstand, cuckolding, for my wife and I, is all about HER. It stems from me being not adequet. My penis is below average. Before I married my wife, females told me that I did not satisfy them. My wife went along with things. She told me that size did not matter. She needed a safe and respectful guy who made a good buck. She put up, for years with me, and the truth one night became transparent. Her pleasure is now the important issue. The most important issue. The benefits to me, as part of the preparation process, are just, as I said above, a bi-product of this preperation process so she enjoy a better guy. My wife enjoys, and wants me there, to assist in preparing her for another man to fuck her. And that has, therefore, become what I need to do.
I couldn’t agree more. For Val and I, cuckolding is all about her, too. As she told me once when I was asking her for too many details: “I’m doing this for ME, not for YOU!” Says it all, doesn’t it?
Though I didn’t know the term back then (the mid-’70s) I was cuckolded by two different girlfriends while I was in college. Though they were very different from each other, both were young, attractive women in their early 20s with strong sexual needs I was incapable of meeting. The first, Diane, was extremely frustrated by how bad intercourse was with me — especially my size (4.5″ and thin). I’ll never forget her saying, “I can’t feel you, are you inside me?” No big surprise, then that she started having an intense sexual relationship with a young (not too bright) guy she met at her job. It began during their breaks. They often went to his car and drove off to a distant part of the parking lot for quickies. Any other boyfriend would have been furious and immediately broken off the relationship, but the thought of leaving Diane never once crossed my mind. I think part of it was that the experience of smelling the sex on her after she came home was incredibly arousing. But the more intense her relationship became with him the more our sex life dried up. Not only that, she was horribly mean about it. She dumped me and I was devastated. The second, Anne, was already seeing two other men at the time we met. Since I knew she loved me I was very comfortable with my being cuckolded by her. What was painful was knowing that, of all the guys, I was the worst fuck (even though, like so many other cuckolds, I fooled myself into believing I could compensate with oral). As Anne became more frustrated with me sexually, her relationship with one of the other guys, Steve, really took off. As she told me one night when we were high, Steve was “huge” and “can just go on and on.” I wasn’t angry with Anne, or even jealous of Steve, I was just depressed knowing that I would always be unable to give her the pleasure she deserved. Eventually, she dumped me for him and, again, I was totally brokenhearted and cried like a baby (but I still loved her despite it all). After this I was terribly confused why I was drawn to women who saw other men. In both cases friends of mine said that I should see a shrink and I was wondering if they were right. Over the course of the next ten years I had three other girlfriends. None cuckolded me and I came to believe that those early experiences with Diane and Anne were just a quirk. That changed after I started seeing Valerie (my wife). Soon after we started dating Val was very clear in telling me that she’d been with a lot of men in the past. Anyone meeting Val wouldn’t believe it. She’s an attractive, slender, petite professional on the quiet side. But, by the time I met her, she had fucked more than 30 men by her count, not including those she had only oral sex with. Her “cheating” had even ended her engagement with a past fiance. But, when Val and I became serious, she said that those days were her “wild oats” and all behind her. It was clear from the star, though, that I was a huge disappointment sexually. As I had in the past, I fooled myself into believing that I could compensate with oral for my small size and lack of stamina. Little did I know that Val was (almost) as active as ever. For example, immediately after we moved in together, she began fucking the married man in the apartment next to ours. As I mentioned in another post, Val’s “cheating” went on for years until I stumbled across e-mails detailing an affair she was having. Because she loved me and was afraid of hurting my feelings she didn’t want to tell me, but once we began talking about it she was clear that he brought out the woman in her that I never could. She referred to it as “chemistry,” but it was obvious that whet she meant was raw power fucking. In as sweet and loving a way as she could Val told me I was “impotent.” In the years since then what remained of my sex life with Val dried up (though we love each other very deeply). I’m now probably the dictionary definition of a cuckolded husband, but, unlike my experiences with the two young cuckoldresses in my past, I now know that this is central to my personality. Not only do I accept it, but I wallow in it. For example, I love reading historical accounts of
cuckolding. If I lived in earlier times I’m sure I’d be mocked with the antlers that were always the symbol of the cuckolded husband. So, the moral of my story is that for me, and I suspect others, fully accepting and appreciating being a cuckold is something that evolves over time.
I feel every couple dating through marriage should have a commitment that the woman has several lovers. Her lovers must be allowed to please her in their home and become part of the relationship. It must be lived openly so everyone can see the benefits each role plays to make a perfect relationship work properly. I think the younger the female is the better for her to start living this lifestyle. Don’t wait any longer than you have to. The cuckold and the lovers play an important role in her life and they must be friends and work together to keep her life happy, loving and sexually satisfying as possible. A pleased female will make everyone happy. Ladies, accept nothing less than your total sexual needs to keep you complete. Thank you, Glenn.
Just to add to this thread , i managed to convince my 19yr old bride to cuck me after 2yrs marriage ..she was serviced by an extremely well hung white guy and this was a start of our cuck life …Absolutly no regrets
I was fortunate enough to start this lifestyle with my wife while we were dating in college. During our engagement I persuaded my best friend to fuck my fiancé in the back seat of a car while I drove us home from a party. I also encouraged her to look up her old boyfriend from eighth grade, which was her first true love. She ended up spending an entire night with him and confessed that the sex with him was better than she could have imagined. (She was kind of fearful that when she actually met him again, reality might be a letdown from the romantic ideal that was in her memory.) My slutty fiancé did everything she could think of to impress him sexually, including offering up her backside for his first introduction to anal. He was not the only one impressed. She, (and I), were quite pleased to find out that his cock was longer, and quite a bit thicker than mine, and his stamina was more than sufficient to give her quite an orgasm as he pounded her. (Something that I was seldom able to accomplish with my penis due to premature ejaculation)………….. We now have been wedded for 33 years, with Diane spreading for other men throughout our marriage. Even though I have nothing to complain about, I can’t help but wistfully think about going back in time and doing some things differently. Back when we started there was really no information that I ever saw about the kind of cuckolding we discuss on this forum. My schooling on the topic was gleaned from the Forum letters in Penthouse magazines were husbands and boyfriends described sharing their girls with other men. I so wish I would have heard about cuckold wedding rituals, it’s something that didn’t even occur to me at the time. I know we both would’ve enjoyed the thrill and naughtiness of me sending her out the night before our wedding to solicit some stranger to give her one last good bareback fucking before she walked down the aisle, even inviting him to the wedding so he could see that her story was true, he was giving a bride her last fuck before her wedding! And as part of the wedding plans, selecting and soliciting in advance, the stud of Diane’s choosing to consummate the marriage. I can only imagine the thrill of standing outside the bridal suite after the reception, offering my brand-new bride to the true “best man” to be taken while wearing her wedding dress. How exciting it would be if I could go to the closet right now, pull out the white box containing her gown, and examine the semen stains left by the best man on our wedding night………… One other thing I wish I could go back and do differently would be to solicit older, more dominant men to take my young, 22-year-old bride. In our early days all the other guys were close to our own age. It would be years later before we realized that Diane had quite a submissive streak in her, and was a pushover for dominant, experience, aggressive men something more commonly found in older alpha males. I honestly can’t fathom how different our lifestyle would have been with computers, and the information and contact opportunity that comes along with them.
This premarital commitment and exploration is essential and highly beneficial in several ways. As a young, atheist, engaged couple ourselves, we see marriage as nothing more than a legal combination of our material goods. The title of husband and wife will not change our love or perception of what we have built thus far and will continue to build. Because of this, we are not bound by archaic (and proven to fail) relationship structures.
Without the backstop of marriage as a social and religious imposition to coerce a couple’s continued pairing, we are fortunate in that we are better able to discover deeper and truer reasons why we chose to build our life together, and the many other ways we are now afforded to discover intimacy, pleasure, and love under an untethered notion of trust…trust that doesn’t require marriage to stay true.
Of course, there still comes a certain amount of trepidation, venturing into this territory. Yet, I am reminded that she chose me as her fiancé for many reasons that she is not looking to replace. Without being married, I am more assured that she will always love me, rather than use marriage as a fail-safe to not leave me. Her choice to couple with other men has to do with her natural freedom to explore and enjoy new experiences.
What much of this boils down to is that she is not a possession to be owned, especially not by me. She may choose to have a Dom, but ultimately, she is bound by nothing. The fact that she still will want to return to me afterward is the deepest love I will ever know. And she will see that I am not staying because of some contract, but because of my love for her and support of her own exploration of her sexuality.