Why do some husbands become so excited by the reality of another man having equal or greater sexual privileges with his wife? It all comes down to our biology.
It’s In The Genes
Humans were never designed/intended to be monogamous beings. Marriage is an institution thrust upon us by religion to help create order and law in a time when we sorely needed it as a species.
The development of genetics as a tool of research has also shown that most if not all of the species of mammals who were thought to pair (and by assumption) mate for life, in fact only pair for life. Our social structure was originally based on small groups or communities where social ranking was established through ritual, combat and instinctive traits.
Much like the social organization of wolves, our ancestors had a rigid behavioral system tied to the individual’s social rank and the perceived social rank of those within their immediate group. The male who becomes recognized by his group as their leader, becomes the alpha male and in these social organizations, it is then his role to protect the ‘family’ and have first right or even singular right of procreation with the females.
The remaining males instinctively support that right. The other males, the betas, have to compete with him for opportunities to have one of the females or try to catch a female when the alpha isn’t around to interfere.
Wives, when first approached about the idea of being enjoyed by someone else, often first assume that the husband has lost interest in her for this to interest him. This is quite untrue and quite opposite of the truth. In fact, it is the wife’s appeal to him and others that fuels the erotic appeal of sharing her.
Often starting with encouragement to dress sexier, the cuckold-to-be isn’t just wanting to enjoy her sexier look for himself, but instead, expressing his desire to experience the beta role by encouraging his wife to choose an alpha male for herself…and for their marriage.
Alpha, Beta and the Gammas Who Love Them
Males, be they human or otherwise, aren’t born as ‘alphas’. An alpha becomes such by being recognized as such by his social group. When a wife chooses another male for his sexual prowess or assertive attitude, he is ‘promoted’ to being an alpha male within that social group (marriage). On an instinctive level, the husband accepts his role supporting the coupling of his wife and her alpha male. That’s not to say there isn’t still jealousy and conflict over the situation, but all the cuckolds I’ve known have felt this arrangement felt ‘strangely natural’ once they became comfortable that the marriage is solid and rather than being replaced, he is simply part of an expanding ‘family’.
Marriages experiencing this shift in roles and the ability to express themselves sexually in a more natural manner find much more to share in and intimacy will actually increase between cuckold and wife even as intimacy increases between the wife and her lover.
Partner Options Bring Role Options
Many of the qualities that make an alpha male appealing to women also make them less suitable as a marital partner, which leads back to why young women tend to date males doomed to disappoint them from a relationship standpoint – their role isn’t one of having a relationship – it’s a mating one.
In time, most women will mature and begin to appreciate the men who are still appealing to them, but perhaps not as sexually attractive as the males they dated when younger. These males are those who have a higher chance of being a good life partner and father to potential children. Women accept the compromise of a good husband and less than ideal lover because it’s what we are told to accept in terms of a wife/husband marriage.
In a cuckold marriage, the need for compromise doesn’t exist. A wife can enjoy the benefits, intimacy and support of a loving, supportive husband while inviting a boyfriend into the marriage who matches her sexual needs much better. In this way, the couple becomes complete by more matching the biology that still runs our bodies despite what we’re taught to accept as our reality.
A hotwife marries for love and companionship and cuckolds for pleasure!
Physical Endowment Matters
The size, shape and thickness of the male organ is a visual and physical turn-on for women because the characteristics of a cock play an important role in a male’s mating effectiveness.
First, we’ll talk about the glans – the head of the cock. The more pronounced the head is as compared to the shaft, the more effective the corona, the ridge around the rim of the cock head, will be in removing any competitor’s semen inside the female he’s mating with.
Second, I’ll mention how length matters: if I plant my seed deeper than a competitor can reach, then my odds of successfully mating are much higher.
Third, thickness: studies have long tried to establish the purpose of female orgasm. Some theorize it aids in semen retention. Recently I read a study that suggested that female orgasm triggered ovulation as it has shown to do with other species but that humans evolved into ovulation cycles while the orgasm remained as a vestige of that mechanism.
I’m not saying that hotwives think consciously in this manner – quite the opposite – just as the desire to play a natural, beta role is often subconscious in a husband, the rules of attraction to certain males as a hotwife are also subconscious and based on our procreative instincts.
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Great article! I never realized how natural this would feel until my wife started taking lovers. Even though we aren’t completely open with everyone about our cuckolding lifestyle, we’re very relieved when we meet like-minded married couples.
I really must agree with the likelihood that our wives and girlfriends are naturally predisposed to wanting multiple sexual partners. Luckily, I think men more and more are predisposed to accepting and encouraging this. I know I had A LOT of angst before becoming a cuckold — but since my wife has gotten into it, I’ve never been happier. My wife is enjoying herself more as well (wink, wink).
I found the post and all the responses to be very well written and insightful. I think more could be said about the Gamma Husbands. A guy who is more Alpha than Beta but willing to yield to another Alpha male who for whatever reason might be able to provide greater pleasure to his wife. There is an accepted principle that a new lover is easily more exciting than a long time lover. Also a woman is much more likely to get pregnant with a lover even if it’s only once with him and several times with her husband. Every sexologist I have ever read agrees on those points. For that reason alone, a married woman’s need for another man should be respected and encouraged.
It could be a mistake however for a guy who wants to be a Dom to assume the husband wants to be demeaned or demoted in any way. On the occasions when I have done MFM with my wife (her favorite)I share the control with the other man. Also a wife (as in my wife) may not want to see her husband demoted to a submissive role. One guy my wife has been with several times tried to take a Dom role over us both and it really turned her off to him.
She certainly has been submissive on a one to one basis with other men. I was watching when a guy told her to lay on the bed with her head hanging over. She has never once been able to take a cock too close to her throat without gagging. Whenever I tried that at all she completely resisted. This guy was clearly an experienced Dom. He just shoved his cock right down her throat. I got up ready to rip his head off when she made a few choking sounds. She waved me away and said ahhkkk it’s okay. He continued to fuck her throat for about 10 or 15 minutes. When he finally pulled out of her throat, he came before getting his cock to her pussy. It had to have felt pretty good for him fucking her virgin throat.
When it comes to her going on a solo date with a guy, she also tends to be more of a submissive with other men as described above. I could never get her to allow pictures but other guys have taken great pictures while they fuck her. I doubt I have seen half the pictures that were taken.
She on a few occasions has gone on dates over my mild objections. I think that qualifies as cuckolding especially when I remember still being turned on watching her get ready. I was clearly Beta on those occasions
Even though the vast majority of the time I would tend to be dominant in our marriage, I must admit that my wife has become much more assertive particularly when it comes to sex.
With regard to the genetic predisposition for cuckolding, her mother had her and at least 2 other children while another man raised them. She is the product of a cuckold marriage although her step father never really realized it at all. My father stayed with my mother even though she had occasional affairs. It seems we both have some genes for it.
Who knows what the future holds but at this point at any rate I feel more of a Gamma.
That is a great photo showing the cuck inserting the Bull’s cock into his lovely wife’s pussy. That really shows support to all involved.
I must admit that I am persuaded by the instinctive breeding rights argument. Its not just the selfish sperm thing but also the ways in which human society has wrapped itself around procreation rights. When the only shelter was a cave, and living was intimate and communal, then the tribe had to sort out procreation rights. I believe that alpha males asserted their rights and that alpha females arose to join them. Whilst we could be charged as naive, drawing analogies with wolf society, there is evidence for sure that as housing and food became more plentiful, and living was arranged in family groupings, that culture and religion started to codify new procreation mores-those that made it naughty, nasty, for an attractive women to go with the alpha male, requiring the beta to stand aside and let nature take its course. ‘Normal’ lifestyle then is arguably a product of living conditions and social mores. It is in effect manufactured and no more natural than the cuckolding way.
The question arises then, what are the consequences of that change? Are women instinctively inclined to chose, but suppressed in some way by social mores? Does that ‘out’ in infidelity? What about men who have been out there and willing to be the beta male, to submit to their wife and her lover? I suspect that instinctive cuck males, have too long been required to ponder these debates somewhere quiet. They haven’t had a chance (until now) to suggest that their contribution could be more of what feels right for them. Alpha females have been shunned as selfish, loose, immoral and such like. It gets wrapped up in the ‘bitch’ word. We instinctively get drawn to the word and are sometimes repelled by it. But perhaps to be a bitch is the instinctive state for some women and we need to applaud it. No other word confronts people about their instincts so much as that one!
Perhaps today, changed living conditions, questions about traditional relationships and improved income and independence for women (so long overdue) are making the cuck lifestyle, once again desirable and natural?
Another interesting article, and one I can wholly relate to. I think that there is perhaps another angle to the biological side to, which I’ll try to summarize here. It’s possible that in early human evolution, when couples first began to pair up, that ‘alpha males’ would take what they wanted – and a female could end up raped in front of her chosen yet physically weaker partner, or even be content to be seeded by a stronger male. In either case, the weaker male would likely be aware that his woman was being bred by another man, and likely contrary to his own wishes. To prevent his partner from being successfully bred by another man, the ‘husband’ needed to scoop the alpha male’s cum from her and plant his own. That needed him to be sexually excited – and therefore witnessing the act of his ‘wife’ being royally fucked required him to be turned on, rather than turned off. Of course we’ll never prove any of these theories!
I guess to add to that you could make points about pheromones and that giving head after the alpha has had his way, might be rewarded in some way with scenting. It could be very instinctive for cucks to be keen on creampie and for many alphas to be relatively adverse to cunnilingus. Female scent rewards submission is the crudest way to put it. Again, cannot prove it but perhaps female sex scent and the encouragement of cunnlingus when she goes with the alpha male is a way of making the raw realities of sexual life manageable. Different roles cement the social whole and the woman pairs with men in these different ways, doing that which sustains a hierarchy, one that she may have a very prestigious place within? Thoughts.
I think it is very selfish of any man or woman who has a wife or husband,and because of their medical or other reason they cannot enjoy sex should prevent their partner from enjoying it , I is just plain selfishness!
Have you read the book, “Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality” by Christopher Ryan, PhD and Cacilda Jethá, MD? Allot of good info in there that would directly relate to a cuckold, Bull, and Hotwife.
When I first met my wife, she was dating (and having sex with) several men, including her ex boyfriend, while I haven’t even kissed another woman since that day we met (while she was on a date with a “stud” friend of mine), I was in love, but to her we were “just friends”. Looking back I see that I must have been a complete Beta male in her eyes, as she talked to me about her man troubles, as if I was a girlfriend, and I had even driven two hour roundtrip to pick up her ex boyfriend so he could stay and fuck her for a couple of weeks. After knowing her for about 4-5 months she then told me she was starting to have feelings for me. I told her I had not, and did not want to see anyone else, but she said that was great, but that she still wanted to see other people. I think this is where my small dick came into play, as she didn’t become monogamous with me until she had become sick of the guys she was seeing as they were really just using her as a booty call. I was her choice for loyalty and security, but I now realize that she should and can have that and great sex. I am starting to see that I truly am a Beta male and my wife deserves a real man, a true Alpha to fulfill her sexually as I make sure her emotional needs are met.
After reading this I understand a little better how I ended up with my wife. She was dating a couple differant guys, including her ex-bf, and we were “just friends” . I even drove one time out of town to pick up her ex to bring him to stay with her for a couple of weeks. My timing turned out to be great as I was there when she got sick of her ex-bf, and a couple of other guys she was dating, and she went for me, the nice guy. Clearly that was the reason we are together, and not because I sexualy excite her. I was willing to accept that then, but I now fully embrace the idea that I am more suited to the sexual support role.
I agree that there is a logic to it all and your article puts it honestly. But what’s startling, almost the elephant in the room, is that people won’t talk about it. It seems so raw, so much battened down, that to speak the word is to put yourself ‘beyond the pale.’ Think of all the Victorian novels and the discourses on genteel courtship, the romantic novels, its so hard for women to feel that it is human to be raunchy and to be selective. One lady I was seeing once asked if I was going to quote Darwin at her and i laughed. I suggested instead that she ponder what seemed the hottest and dirtiest fantasies she had ever had and then asked where she got those. Was it only from her husband or the internet, or did something deep down still speak to her?
For her the hottest fantasy was about following an army around, with her husband as aide de camps of some sort. She would go with the officers who outranked her lowly husband and he would wait on holding their discarded clothes.