Wife has to ‘feel’ for the Bull

Hello J,

It sounds like you are in a strong committed relationship. I read about some couples who embark on this path after an affair and that sounds like there are issues within the marriage. Although I guess it works for some couples.

My wife has met many guys with my consent. Some just once, others a few times. For me being a cuckold the most intense emotions come from when my wife is with a man she really likes. The more times she sees him the more she will likely feel something for him. Does that worry me? No. Will she ever run off with him? No. Because our marriage is strong and her being with another guy, maybe having feelings for him will never break us up. In fact it makes us stronger because we can explore this lifestyle and enjoy it. My wife does have feelings for her current boyfriend. I welcome it. The fact that she might love him also doesn’t concern me. Because together we have everything…she has another man to give her pleasure and this in turn gives me pleasure. Why would she leave to give all that up?

Its ok for her to have some feelings..if your marriage is strong to begin with..it will get stronger.

My wife has had sex with men she sort of liked and men that she was very much attracted to.  She prefers at this point to only have sex with men that she really likes.  One guy was clearly falling in love with her and it did make her feel uncomfortable.  She broke it off for other reasons but it was never a threat to our relationship.  As stated in the previous post, it’s only safe if you have an unbreakable bond.

Being a hotwife/cuckold couple without her forming bonds with the guy she’s intimate with is like trying to swim without getting wet.

Said another way: risk to relationships doesn’t come from outside the relationship – it only comes from within. You cannot be threatened by that which is not allowed to threaten you. Women are creatures of emotion, right? When men switch channels on TV, we stop anywhere there are guns, car chases, or explosions. Ok, or hotties. But women, women stop where anyone is crying. I know, a bit sexist and perhaps a broad statement, but essentially true I think. My point is women are easily capable of loving, if it comes to that, more than one male at a time and loving them differently. We male may lust for or desire more than one female, but we generally only love one at a time so the idea of a woman forming emotional bonds with another male is automatically threatening.

The upside to those bonds forming is the greater level of trust and safety for her when they are together. He is invested in not just her, but in you as a couple because she makes it clear to him (through word and action) that she is invested in your well-being.

As previously stated, this aspect of the cuckold marriage is not without risk and the bond between you and your wife must be strong. I do also believe, that the old saying, “From the greatest risk comes the greatest reward” applies pretty well not only to this specific situation, but to the general fulfillment of the cuckold’s basic needs and desires. In a previous post in the “Getting started” forum, under the thread “Finding the right bulls or men to share her with”, JandGinSD shared some valuable insight pertaining to the romantic bonding that can occur between a wife and her bull;

“It can be a deep relationship, as it requires friendship, lust, and trust. Also don’t discount the emotional component. Very few women sexually bond well without love. If she takes a lover for a period of time (not long at all), she will genuinely fall in love at some level with him. Might not displace your relationship or grow to the same intensity of love as you two share, but you need to believe a romantic bond will form between them and the sexual passion will be met with attendant deep love if he is worthwhile for her. That polyamory is perfectly normal and is true human nature. “

For the first eight years of our marriage I encouraged my spouse to engage in “hot wife” activity. She had my permission and encouragement to take advantage of any sexual situation that might come up. She had numerous trysts with strangers, and acquaintances, and it was obvious that our libidos, sex life, and even our relationship benefited from these occasional encounters. Up to this point, almost all her extramarital encounters were a one-time occurrence. There was a guy that did have her twice, and one other that had the pleasure of leaving his mess between her legs on three different occasions. This was due mostly to opportunity. Then one evening, my wife mentioned that her boss was flirting with her. I encouraged her to flirt back, and it eventually developed into an ongoing affair where the sexual encounters were numerous and frequent. I was in Cuck heaven, in a state of constant lust, that was matched by my wife’s!     One evening, about a month into the relationship, my wife confessed that she was starting to develop “feelings” for her boss. She went on to explain that her love for me hadn’t diminished at all, and tried to reassure me that our marriage was still as strong as ever. This was a time of roller coaster emotions for me. When I was horny, the romantic bond between my wife and her boss contributed greatly to the intenseness of my arousal. This was so much more consuming and exciting than the one time trysts she shared with other men earlier in our marriage. Just the fact that she had given herself so completely to another man brought the cuckold experience to a higher level, like a junkie getting a double dose of his favorite drug. I remember occasionally feeling somewhat ashamed at the extent of the all-consuming lust I sometimes felt, wondering if it would be at the expense of my marriage yet still encouraging and nurturing their romantic bond….. (My thoughts and experiences of this encounter can be found in detail in the thread “Romantic Bonding” )            I wish back when I heard my wife’s confession, I was familiar with that quote from JandGinSD. I might have thought about it a little bit, and realized that this was not something exclusive to my relationship, but a normal progression following course of human nature. I now understand that the sexual passion and constant state of arousal and fulfillment that my young wife experienced with her Bull wasn’t in addition to her romantic bond she had with him, it was because of the romantic bond they had together. (I must also confess that my fulfillment in the cuckold role was never more complete in spite of the angst.)     I now know that a woman can really have romantic feelings for more than one man. I also understand that any time romantic feelings are involved in a relationship outside marriage it also carries a risk, although aren’t all elements of this lifestyle risky without a strong marital bond?

It’s really not worthwhile sex to me, and most other women, if it is without an emotional bond.  But bear in mind that we are capable of unlimited love.  After all, does a mother lover her first born less when a second child arrives?  As long as your love is strong and genuine, insecurity is overestimated.  If your wife has satisfying hotwife sex with her lover, she will have some feelings of love for him, even if fleeting.  Otherwise, she would be a statistical outlier.

I get a kick out of the potential bulls who make such a big point out of saying that only the husband can make love to the wife.  He is just having sex with her.  To me it is an obvious attempt on his part to make it seem less risky for us (the hubbies) to go along with it.  This isn’t a hooker we are talking about.  It is our loving wife. She is probably, and somewhat obviously, going to have some feelings for the guy screwing her.  She has a pretty great capacity to feel, after all.

It has been a huge fantasy for me for my wife to sleep with another person. She always told me that she wouldn’t because she needed the deep emotional connection to have sex with another guy. About two years ago my wife started getting feelings for a guy she works with, and it developed into a sexual relationship. Our relationship is stronger than it has ever been – she has developed a much deeper love for me because I continue to support her while her main pleasure is with another guy. And of course, I love her more, and LOVE being the cuckold. I couldn’t imagine life without my wife or her boyfriend, and neither can she.

I find it hard not to develop feelings for a man I am with more than a few times, We have had one man in our life I fell for, It was scaery for the two of us but I think it made us closer, I don’t like no feelings and one nighters

most females will develop emotional bonds with a guy they have sex with regularly . human nature after all. where it works in that a couple can accommodate that emotions and maintain an adult relationship it will work well. some will find that there can be an imbalance in relationship and unless we. have. good honest an open communication. to sift issues and resolve. it can. lead to conflict and eventual potential. relationship failure. fortunately they type of man whom allows or wants his wife to have sexual relations with another male is normally very forgiving and flexible in nature. a real bonus . for this new to lifestyle or contemplating entering it..do think about longterm possibilities and drawbacks as well as teh rewarding side of it.

I was conflicted when my long term partner started seeing her lover about six months ago but I know it has brought us closer. She has of course developed strong feelings for him but I don’t feel threatened. He phones and she talks to him in private I don’t know what they say but I know it’s intimate. She goes on a date and I don’t know if she’ll come home. I stay awake thinking about what they’re doing together. She invites him over sometimes and I love those looks and whispers they share. I know I’m on the sofa that night while they use our bedroom and hope they’ll let me bring them coffee in the morning. Just seeing them naked in bed and the smell of sex gives me joy.

Depriving someone is communication. Communication develops good or bad feelings. Sex is full communication: words, touch, view, smells, sounds merge and generate feelings. It’s natural when a woman, married or not, repeatedly has sex with the same man, there is passion and love.
Genuine cuckold likes the happy wife. Genuine cuckold understands that women are only happy when feelings come into play.

My opinion is if a woman sees the same man over a long period of time emotional feelings are created.Call it love lust or what ever you wish..End of day they are feelings of some kind,and born from those feelings can come Love.personally I embrace and promote it.I believe we are all capable and wired to be polly beings.

My opinion is if a woman sees the same man over a long period of time emotional feelings are created.Call it love lust or what ever you wish..End of day they are feelings of some kind,and born from those feeling can come Love.

Hi everyone
This my first post and I think it might be of some interest.
My wife after years of constant asking agreed to cuckold me.
It was great.
Nice hotel great setting. My wife said to me it was the best sex she had ever had I was lucky enough to see the entire thing.
Afterwards we were really close and it was better than we could hope for.
She always says it was the best that she enjoyed it but would never do it again.
So me being an absolutely obsessed cuckold had to know why…
3 years I caught her looking at photos of him and so I fed the issue and I asked her.
Her reply was .
Honey I love you so very much how could I do it again. When I first met him I found him very attractive and while I was there to have sex I wound up making love to him and I really did enjoy it. And I could feel I liked him “a lot” that’s why I stopped.
I was stunned turned one and disappointed all in one go.
This week after all this time the man sent us a photo and a message. I was excited as was she.
I said to her “I want you to have him again to really enjoy him,
She said can you watch me give myself to him knowing how I feel and that I’m not going to resist bonding to him.
I said l would love that. I want to see you cum on him. O yes she said and if we do this im going to take him first load inside me and the next load in my mouth.
I agreed of course we made love and she told my she was thinking about him.
Afterwards she said ok I’ll talk to him.