Erect & Impotent
Males have an embedded expectation of either sex or release whenever their penis becomes swollen. While this is perfectly acceptable for alpha males who inspire eager desire for intercourse among involved females, such is not the case for the beta whose sexual performance may leave his wife feeling sex can often be a chore as much as an anticipated pleasure. For these wives, the periodic intercourse is acceptable and even enjoyable, but they will often avoid arousing their husband at other times realizing that any arousal may lead to the expectation of sex.
A submissive male must be trained to accept that having his penis in a swollen and excited state has no bearing on his right or expectation to experience anything more than that swollen, excited state and the inevitable ache in the testicles which will accompany a prolonged arousal. While most cuckold husbands may become erect frequently without much intervention, Â training a submissive male to accept the proper role for his penis is best achieved through purposeful and direct teasing of the male to elicit both the desired behavior and desired response.
Empowerment Is Pleasure
When freed from the expectations of intercourse, most wives will begin to enjoy the interaction of taking a more proactive role in the empowerment that lies within feeling the pulse of their husband’s heartbeat directly through their needful, yet unused erection. This empowerment can be very arousing, but I caution wives to be mindful that such arousal is often the result of the empowerment and not necessarily a true desire for intercourse with their cuckold. If  the cuckold is then allowed to make use of his erection, the lesson is then lost. The best response is to either make use of his tongue, allow him to strap on your preferred dildo – or have your cuckold call your boyfriend to see if he’s going ot be available that evening to see to your needs.
A hotwife letting her cuckold know she is aware of his need for her, but reinforces her right to enjoy his erection without allowing him sex or manual release. except by her direct involvement or permission.
In the image above we see a penis fully aroused, but the woman’s hands aren’t actively exciting him but are instead resting there to enjoy the proof of his need for her and his acceptance of his role. Her right hand feels the tension in his testicles while the right takes note of the extent of swelling present in the head of the penis.
Upside For The Cuckold
The second, equally important reason for frequently reinforcing this behavior in the cuckold is in the intimacy shared during such experiences. Rather than have his penis ignored, he now enjoys much more frequent contact and attention. Will it be frustrating for him? Yes. Will he be more attentive to your need? Hell yes. Would he rather experience this frustration than not have the interaction with you?
Try it for a day and you’ll have your answer.
I have been lucky enough to have been involved in this lifestyle in some form or another, throughout my entire 34 year marriage, and shared my wife for the first time while she was still my fiancé. A couple of months before our marriage, I told my wife-to-be that from this point on in our relationship, she had my permission and encouragement to take advantage of any sexual situation that she might encounter, whether or not I was around. Even though I allowed her total freedom to explore her sexuality with other men, I did have the embedded expectation of sex, or release from my wife, anytime my penis became swollen, just as Luvr stated in the article above. I’ve always been predisposed to premature ejaculation, and after marriage, I found it harder and harder to hold off my quick orgasms during intercourse. This was compounded for me by the fact that our sexual “pillow talk” almost always involved scenarios of her with other men. This mental foreplay never failed to put both of us into a state of lust, though my poor wife would remain unsatisfied and frustrated after our quick couplings. Sensing that my sexual duty as a husband was not being upheld, I started going down on my horny young wife during our naughty conversations. She especially enjoyed something we called the “buzz”. This is where I would vibrate my lips like somebody playing the trumpet, against her throbbing clit. This would never failed to bring her to an intense, shaking, orgasm. After allowing her to come down a little, I would orally bring her to another orgasm, and continue doing this until her swollen, throbbing clit became too sensitive, and she begged me to stop. I would then climb on top of her, and sink my own swollen penis into her slick vagina, using it to quickly achieve my own intense orgasm. This became our sexual routine, although I still would expect either sex or release from her whenever I was aroused. At the beginning of the marriage this was often accomplished with a blow job, although after about a year and a half of marriage, her hand would replace her lips to accomplish this task. If she was not at all in a sexual mood, she would request to skip the foreplay and oral “buzzing” from me, and, after applying a generous dollop of sexual lubricant into her pussy, would make it available for me to use to get myself off.
During the first 10 months or so of our marriage, Diane would dress provocatively, always bra less, usually under a sheer blouse, and we would go out to bars and clubs together. I would watch her flirt, and dance with other men, but since I am a large, intimidating looking guy, it kind of discouraged promising prospects for my wife. This was way before the Internet, and we were uninformed and naïve to things such as swing clubs. I was desperate to once again experience the thrill of knowing that some other man had taken his pleasure inside my young wife’s tight, pink pussy, but finding a hard time getting this accomplished. We finally agreed that she would be more successful without me by her side. The next Saturday night, I helped Diane get ready to go out on her own, to a local drinking establishment. It was my first time waiting at home with the cuckold angst, and anticipation of what my naughty young wife might be up to right now. (This was way before the days of cell phones, so I wouldn’t know anything until she got home) Diane returned home late that night after closing time, tipsy, and tired. She told me that she hadn’t been fucked, but she did do a few naughty things with other guys. She really wasn’t in the mood for doing anything except going to sleep right then, but I pressed her for details until she told me about groping some stranger’s hardon through his jeans while he fondled my young wife’s breasts. I needed to fuck Diane so badly that I disregarded her request to wait until morning, and quickly used her naughty pussy to achieve my orgasm. This same basic scenario repeated itself over the course of the next three weekends. But her 5th Saturday night adventure was different from the start. Diane was a lot later getting home. It was an hour and a half past closing time when my wife walked through the front door. She looked at me with a devilish grin and said “Some guy fucked me!” She was obviously intoxicated, and was heading towards the bathroom as I pushed her for details. She said, “Please let me use the bathroom, and change out of my clothes first, and I’ll tell you about it” Diane was in the bathroom for what seemed to be a long time. When I finally peeked in on her, she wasn’t in the bathroom. When I went to the bedroom I found her in bed, under the covers passed out. I shook her awake, but she said she was too tired, and just wanted to sleep! “What! She can’t do this!” My wife just came home from being fucked by another man and is just going to leave me here like this without any details or satisfaction! Diane was naked under the covers, and of course my hand wandered down between her legs, my middle finger probing for the slick evidence from some stranger. “Ow”, Diane yelped as I roughly pushed my finger into her slit only to have her quickly push my hand away. “That hurts, quit it, I’m sore down there”. (I didn’t realize or understand at the time that my wife’s tender young pussy had become totally unaccustomed to being pummeled for an extended period of time, especially by a cock that was larger, and more aggressively used than her husband’s.) Diane roughly pulled the covers back up over herself, quickly drifting off into unconscious slumber. I was mad, confused, and yet totally aroused. If she had gotten fucked, how come her pussy wasn’t slick with his ejaculation? I searched out her panties from the floor, and found them damp, and stained. As I held the crotch of her sexy little panties up to my nose, I inhaled the unmistakable scent of semen. I found myself unconsciously stroking my aching penis as I savored the aroma of my wife’s coupling. I had to stop touching myself completely to keep myself from my own urgent and impending ejaculation. That was something I definitely wanted to accomplish using my wife’s naughty, naughty pussy. I spent a long, throbbing, semi-sleepless night, waiting for my wife to wake from her slumber. It took her an unbearably long time to wake up. It was almost 11 AM before she was up, and able to converse. And for some reason, sex was not the first thing she was interested in! I made her some breakfast, and finally got her to tell me some details from the night before. I was unbelievably aroused and ready to retake my wife’s pussy. She was still tender, and didn’t want to be stroked or fingered, but I was insistent on fucking her. Even after applying a generous amount of KY jelly, I could still see her wince as I gingerly entered her. She said something along the lines of “I’m sorry honey, I guess my pussy is not used to getting properly fucked” Diane’s words had their intended effect, and I almost immediately ejaculated, to her relief. A couple hours later she said that if I would be satisfied with a hand job, she would reveal a few more naughty details of her infidelity while stroking me to orgasm. It took her up on that offer twice before bedtime! At some point, during those early days of her weekend trysts away from home, Diane had a serious talk with me. She said that even though she delighted in the sexual attention, and satisfaction from other men, my demands for immediate sexual gratification when she wasn’t in the mood for it offset the enjoyment of the whole situation. I protested, saying that if she got to enjoy these adventures as much as she wanted, then I, in turn, should be entitled to as much access and attention from her as I wanted afterwards! Unfortunately, she played the trump card….. She said “I understand how you feel, and don’t blame you, but for me, it’s just not worth it, and I would just rather stay home.”
It was the first time she took a proactive role, and accepted and asserted the empowerment she realized she possessed, and could wield over her husband. For me, this was the very first stage of denial.
Diane continued to go out and pursue fun by herself on most weekends. Even after our daughter was born, mommy would still go out while daddy stayed home babysitting. Most of all Diane enjoyed the attention from other men. They made her feel sexually attractive and wanted. Diane is a great dancer, a big flirt, and quite a tease. She would almost always come home with a story about being groped or fondled by strangers as she ground against their erections on the dance floor. Only occasionally, if the guy was sufficiently handsome, or aggressive, would she come home to me with a story about sucking and/or fucking. I came to understand that when Diane came home after these “nights out”, I was not to question her about her activities. On her part, she would say to me, “I have a story for you” if she had participated in something naughtier than just groping or kissing. This basically would include stroking a guy off, sucking a guy off, or fucking him. I knew that I would then have to wait until Diane was in the mood to give me the details of her night, which was almost always late in the morning or early in the afternoon, the next day. A synopsis of her night would be delivered along with a slow hand job. Even if she had not whispered in my ear the night before, “I have a story for you” she would still relate her naughty teasing adventures before coaxing me to orgasm with minimal effort. If I knew she did have a “story” for me, I would be uncontrollably aroused waiting to hear the details. Diane would lightly stroke me, using only two fingers to delay my orgasm until she was able to give me some details. If I would ejaculate before she was done telling the story, the rest of the story would have to wait until the next day for her to resume the stroking and the story. (On a few occasions, it took me four days just to get through one story!)
Once Diane realized the sexual empowerment that she had over me, our frequency of intercourse dropped dramatically. From early on in our marriage, marital intercourse had ceased to be satisfying or fulfilling for my wife due to my premature ejaculation. After empowerment, she realized she no longer felt the obligation or duty to participate in sex acts that she didn’t feel like doing. For me that meant fucking, and especially blow jobs were relegated as favors or rewards. Something I would get on my birthday for example. Diane would still provide a hand job with details after her nights out, but that was far less relief than I had been used to getting. The amount of control, and denial that Diane wielded on me increased slowly, and organically throughout our marriage. If we had access to articles or information like that found on this website, I’m sure things would have developed more quickly. We kind of had to feel our way through all this. The exchange of power in our marriage developed slowly, and incrementally. Basically, nature took its course. As Diane came to enjoy, and appreciate her role, I also came to not only except, but truly appreciate and enjoy my own role. It was probably around 12 years into our marriage when I received my last blow job. But by that point, I was not only accepting, but aroused by the fact that complete strangers were taking pleasure in my wife’s mouth. It was almost as if that was the way it should be. About 10 years ago, my wife discovered the incredible orgasms she could achieve using a Hitachi vibrator. Once she discovered this, she no longer had a desire to be orally pleased by me. I have only had the pleasure of being able to truly bury my face between her legs only a handful of times since then. At the same time she discovered the Hitachi, my infrequent opportunities to fuck my wife dwindled to almost nonexistent. Although there have been a few exceptions over the years, basically I now no longer fuck her. Again I am not only accepting of that fact, I am aroused and in a weird way feel satisfied being denied of it. About three years ago, Diane took official control over all my orgasms. I was basically put on self-imposed denial. I was allowed to stimulate myself as much as I wanted, but not allowed to orgasm. I have had no problems whatsoever controlling my impulses and have grown to appreciate the agony of the denial. Over time my wife slowly extended the time between orgasms until it was between three weeks and a month before release. It went on that way for almost a year. This last April, my wife read an article about prostate health, and decided to “release me” more often as a precaution. I now get relief about every week and a half. Even though I truly enjoy experiencing orgasm in her skilled hands, I must admit I do miss the blissful agony of those monthly sessions! I truly understand the title of Luvr’s article……. “Denial Is Devotional”!
My wife has instituted this, whether she knows it or not. We have sex very infrequently but she will lay in bed and play with my penis for a little bit, but generally just lay her hand against it to feel it erect and aching for her while she does nothing to satisfy that erection.
My wife has implemented this technique to great extent and I have noticed that it is getting more difficult for me to get erect. I part I am happy with that situation as it allows me more time to dedicate to worship her pussy with my tongue
I totally agree with your blog. Your cuckold must have less release so he will keep focused on you and your needs. I know all to well that the less you release the more attentive you will be towards your woman. Women are the opposite and need maximum release very often and one man can never give the needs of any one woman. I must say that your cuckold must get played with, teased, paid attention to and have release when the women feels its time. Women know what’s best for herself and more so for her man. Man’s never ending desire to release is one of the main reason that men must wear a chastity device as long as his woman see’s fit. I also know his life will change for the best the day it is locked on him. Put your sex life in the hands of a good woman and live life to the fullest. Thank you, Glenn
–Denial has Many Faces–
I do watch my wife with others. And I help her prepare. There are also times when I do not watch. And at times denial is involved.
But, in the non-cuckolding world there is denial too. For instance, when two people date, often the guy has his mind on sex. Traditionally he is denied at least the first few dates. And he so wants to have sex with her. And like many females, she is sure to tease him. She wears a skirt that has a slit, and/or, she shows clevage with just the right push up bra and blouse. And the male is denied denied. Like that guy on a date, I am sometimes denied any access to my beautiful wife. And many non-cuckolding wives simply deny their loving husband sex.
My wife ptrefers that I do not jerk off as I watch her prepare, or, when I help her prepare. I had been jerking off during the process of preparation. But she came to feel that she and I would both enjoy it more, and feel closer to one another, if I did not orgasm. I see that she is correct. Now as I watch her getting ready, say, looking in the mirror and brushing her hair, or putting her make-up on, I will come behind her and put my hands around her stomach while my penis touches her behind. I will kiss her shoulder, or her back, or on the side of her face. And our eyes will meet in the mirror. As we get to look at each other, she will say something that she knows will be of special interest to me. She has said, “his cock is so large, I can’t believe it fits inside me”, or, “I know you’ll love watching tonight, I’m really in the mood for sex”, or, “do you think I look pretty enough?”. And these words are humiliating indeed. And my erection becomes even stronger. And I often, hearing her words, begin to leak. My wife having pressed my phycological buttons and physical buttons, will then have me go into her draw and pick out a few pairs of bras and panties. She will then try them on and ask me how she looks in each pair. And she’ll ask me how I think her lover will like the way she looks in each pair. She puts each pair on slowly and looks at me and then looks in the mirror. As I view this process and as we speak, I am very turned on, and I remain erect and denied. I am that guy on a date. But, I am denied access to my own wife. And, my erect penis, leaks as a result.
This past weekend, my wife was alone with her lover. And I stayed home alone. We bought a device for my penis so I cannot even jerk off. For the second time, she used it on me. The first time it was used, when she came home, she took it off; and, then she jerked me off while she told me the details. But, back to this past weekend. This Saturday evening she left to be with her lover and my wife returned late Sunday afternoon. When my wife came home she looked so hot. She had that “just fucked look” on her face. Her dress, which showed her clevage, looked so sexy on her. I was lying on the bed when she came home. I got up and approached her. I hugged her and said “I love you so much”. She told me to step back. she knew I wanted to be released and to have some form of sex. She knew I wanted at least a handjob while she told me what happened. And she knew I want to kiss and suck her breasts. And that I’d want to eat her. But there would be no such luck for me. My wife told me “I can’t do anything with you; I am so sore; my whole body is sore everywhere; he handled my breasts so hard and sucked them so hard that they hurt; look at my tits and you’ll see love bites all over them; and my nipples are all swollen; and my vagina hurts, he fucked me so hard; and you know how large he is, I felt I’d was going to bleed; so, I want you to just listen while I tell you what happened. But no jerking off so I’ll release you later on”. I was so hot and frustrated. My wife had me sit on a chair. She stood in front of me. She told me that he made love to her. She asked if I had been thinking of her. She asked if I had been thinking of her lover. I said yes to both. And she asked me to tell her my thoughts. I told her my thoughts and she wanted details. I did what she asked. My wife lifted her dress and told me that his sperm was probably in her panties because he did not use a condom. She took down the top of her dress and told me how he kissed her breasts and sucked and licked them. She removed her bra slowly. She pointed to the marks he left on her breasts. I was so hot. I felt a “subspace” kind of feeling. She took her dress off. She slowly took her panties off. They were real panties not a thong. She brought her panties to my face. And told me that his cum was still there and I should lick the inside of her panties. There is no way to properly describe the intensity of this interaction. I licked and I licked. I now begged her to release me. She agreed but first said I should tell her how much I wanted her to have sex with others. I told her. And she asked if I were sure. I assured her that I wanted this. And she would ask again if I were sure.
My wife released me. She asked if I loved her. I said I did. She told me to beg her to believe me. I did. She then said “lets lie down on the bed”. She looked at my erection. My whole penis was very red and it was swollen. My wife told me the details of their lovemaking. I was leaking. I could not believe the details she told me. I kept leaking. I begged her to jerk my penis or to at least let me jerk off. Finally, she started touch my penis. And she’d stop. But still no climax for me. I then asked her to slap my penis. She had done this kind of slapping three times prior. At first it hurts. And then I want it harder and harder. And it actually feels good. Soon, she hit me on my balls. And I liked it. It was difficult to feel the difference between pain and pleasure. Then she went to the closet and took one of my ties and wrapped it around my balls. My balls were so hurt by her use of my tie. My balls were in a sense strangled. My wife totally enjoyed dening me and torturing me. She did allow me to climax.
I somehow needed to be treated like this. I needed to feel her in control. I needed to live it. Being a cuckold has allowed me to really be in touch with my own sexuality, and the lack of it; and, best of all, it makes my wife feel complete and free and well loved. For sure, no couple needs to go to this exterme, but, it is nice to know that a wife in control can be a source of increased enjoyment for any couple who asks for it. BTW, she has since told me that we do not need to go this far…..and we agreed we’d do it at least sometimes……but, that, she still wanted to be with other men. And how can I say no to that!
P.S. – Unprotected sex is not something good even with her on the pill. And she was later tested. She has had other unprotected sex but with someone who was tested, someone we both feel can be trusted (and more of a boyfriend type).
I fully agree that denial is devotional, my wife ensures that I get hard at least once a day for her. She likes to keep me hard for as long a possible, with never any chance of release. She very much enjoys the empowerment that she has.
Wow…this perfectly describes how I want my wife to cuckold me. Infact just reading the article is making my denied testcles ache for relief… Indeed my wife takes it a step further…the other night in bed I woke with an erection…I rolled over to hug my wife and she felt my hardness against her…I dared to move it between her legs and she reached down and began to stimulate me. The feeling was wonderful…she was rubbing the underside of my cock with her fingers…she was listening to my moans and breathing gauging when I was getting close…when I reached an extremely heightened state…she fiercely struck me right in the testicles..causing me to double up in pain. “How dare you put that thing near me?…who the fuck do you think you are?” I rolled over with my testicles aching and my erection straining even harder. Although I was in pain..I had found the action very erotic.
My wife insists that as I was so disrepectful to her in her sleep…that at any point now she may give me the same chastisement. She may demand at anytime she can strike me in that most delicate of areas….anytime..sleep ing or awake….indeed she commands me to drop my pants and lift my cock so she can adminster the chastisement. Although painful..because it is my wife and part of my submission…yes I enjoy it.
100% agreed