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From my perspective, the trait that defines a husband as a cuckold, or not, is his level of authority and direction within what is being practiced. If the husband is actively directing the sharing as the dominant sexual partner, then the argument that he’s a Dom or ‘stag’ is appropriate. If he’s simply passive and doesn’t want to be considered a ‘cuckold’ because it hurts his ego, well, wear the shoe because it fits.
A stag/hotwife relationship is what I refer to as a hotwife marriage instead of a cuckold marriage.
Essentially all couples start out as a hotwife marriage because a cuckold marriage is defined by the exploration of the empowerment and submission the inclusion of a male into the marriage creates and develops.
A hotwife couple (or stag and vixen) are generally ‘hobbyists’ and dabbling at the edges where they are emotionally ‘safe’.
A cuckold marriage has gone beyond the threshold to allow themselves the deeper experience when intellectual and emotional boundaries are exercised and expanded.
Clearly, @submissivemale is a cuckold and he should be proud of arriving at this point. I do believe he needs to assert himself enough to ensure the health of his marriage because when allowed to come between a couple rather than extend their relationship, cuckolding can become a threat.