Fencesitting with the lifestyle (first post)

Welcome @coffee – that was a very well thought-out post that provides a full background.

First I would say you’re not alone in your experience of start/stop being run by fear/anxiety. This anxiety is natural, of course…and if you weren’t feeling that, then something is obviously wrong with your relationship.

I see two likely issues involved here:

1) sexual expression – it’s likely that because you are now so mentally and emotionally invested in cuckolding that you are taking your sexual release into your own hands. Literally. Masturbation is the primary cause of anxiety at the level that it spills into the relationships. When your arousal peaks and you handle it yourself instead of sharing it with her – or them, you rob yourself and them of the opportunities you all want to have.

2) Trust: You say your relationship is bullet-proof and you have a long time together to form that foundation, but your behavior says you don’t trust her, your relationship, or both. Right? If you really did, you wouldn’t feel the need to assert yourself and get in the way. If you truly trusted that she would make the right decisions and preserve your relationship while also enjoying his cock we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

What to do:

Make a commitment to cease your solo masturbation and work out having that release only with her while you talk of previous experience or plan new ones. It’s ok that your sexuality as a couple now revolves around your cuckolding – this happens.

Come to the agreement that unless the relationship is affected, there is no reason they cannot continue their coupling. Read The Golden Rule and take that to heart.

A potential third issue is ego. Male ego is a falsehood built on the idea that men only have to ‘compete’ for a woman once and then she is forever ours. This is not our biology and in cuckolding this fact rings true and loudly. Accept that you are both happy this way and that’s what’s important, not what an artificial perspective on ego dictates.

Come find me in the chat and we can discuss it further if you like.