How we got where we are today

Hello. I’m pleased to have discovered this site. I’ve been lurking for a few weeks. Then I started writing a short bio but just found myself repeatedly adding to it, mostly to explain myself more clearly about who we are. So, this ended up a really long intro. I’m posting it in the True Experiences section as that seems the most appropriate. If you’re interested, read on.

I am Melissa and I’m now in my early 40s. My husband and servant John (“Bluey”) is 49 (almost 50). Our lifestyle began mildly, shortly after we met, with bondage, a bit of roleplay and a lot of oral sex (for me). Initially our fun only took place on Friday and Saturday nights and it was only temporary ‘play’ for a few hours.
However, we both enjoyed it a lot, so things steadily became more permanent and over a few more months my dominance evolved into a consensual 24/7 Female-led relationship. We experimented with short term chastity which grew from John using a plastic ‘toy’ cage just for a few hours, to him wearing the first of our steel devices for few days at a time.

We still had occasional penetrative PIV sex but as we progressed it became increasingly less frequent. 24/7 chastity really upped our dynamic and I imposed longer and longer periods of denial on him. We both loved what sexual frustration did to him and to our relationship and marriage. Penetrative sex shifted from a weekly event to a monthly treat. I started teasing him that I shouldn’t have to ‘go without’ for that long.

We both knew what I was saying. Cuckolding was the obvious next step. We started using vibrators and sex toys to roleplay our fantasies. I phased out penetrative sex with John altogether. Seven months later, we finally turned fantasy into reality when I found a long-term boyfriend.

John and I have no children but both of us work in challenging professional careers and we also enjoy a busy vanilla social life. I can assure you that my days are NOT spent dressed in a leather catsuit brandishing my whip or fucking random guys! As a rule, we spend our working weeks (Mon-Fri) pretty much like any ‘normal’ couple, although with an underlying Mistress-servant dynamic. Whereas our weekends are all about having fun!

I’ve never written any of this down before or written to any site like this, so forgive the rambling stream of consciousness. I’m NOT looking for hook-ups or counselling. I know that what we do is only one type of cuckolding and some people won’t approve of us. Besides this site seems a little quiet nowadays. But constructive thoughts and imaginative ideas would be welcome. And please don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile in these high heels.

I’m a tall (5’ 10”), willowy honey-blonde with a few, first grey streaks emerging in my hair. I’m half English and half Swedish. I have big boobs (E-cup) and a big laugh too, but a serious side as well when it comes to my work. Friends have long joked that I’m a ‘Schizo’; two people in one, a bubbly nympho but a studious librarian too, both fighting for supremacy in my day to day life.

John (also known by me as “J” and “Bluey”) is the love of my life, even if we express our love in ways most people might misunderstand. He’s tall (6’ 1”) – which is a physical prerequisite for me – dark-haired and rather handsome. He works in finance and is a natural salesman; a gregarious but diligent people-pleaser. We both earn good money.

His chastity is the basis of our marital relationship and above all our sex life. He now performs his husbandly duty to me 100percent manually and orally. He’s an excellent masseur and we still have fantastic oral sex 2-3 times a week. Phasing out and eventually ending penetrative sex was a joint decision but imposed by me. The last time we fucked together, way back in 2018, felt like I was ending things with a lover. But on this occasion my new lover was simply a different version of the old one.

For the past 5 years, he’s almost always been locked 24/7 in one of our collection of chastity cages, including daytime at his office (discreetly, of course). I’d guess he’s spent 98 percent of all those hours caged, night and day. We’ve never had a problem. We’ve bought custom-made, surgical grade steel devices and we’re careful about hygiene and moisturizer to avoid chafing. Living and showering with his genitals caged is now as normal for John as doing his teeth and shaving in the morning.

Over the same period, I’ve learned to have very little interest in his orgasms. He asked me not merely to display that uncaring attitude, but genuinely to FEEL like that. I’m not a sociopath so it took me a while. I’m no manhater either. Straight females are conditioned to want the guy they love to have orgasms. That’s how I was brought up, so to speak.

So, I had to train myself to think differently. What started out as just a kink became a lifestyle. We both decided John should consider himself permanently chaste. No orgasms at all. Then, if and when I allow him some kind of meagre release every month or so, I’m actually being super-kind to him, almost soft on him. He never gets a proper, ‘full blown’, orgasm but, if he’s lucky, he occasionally gets to take the edge off his constant, nagging frustration. That probably sounds unkind but bear in mind it’s the lifestyle he wants, as well as I want for him.

Meanwhile, I’ve trained myself to focus solely on the reward he gets from serving me, and not on his conventional male needs. I ignore the fact I love him and that he still finds denial very hard. He says it never seems to get easier. He actually has a high libido and enjoyed pretty much daily orgasms for 30 years (from puberty until he was 42).

So, I enjoy his denial, as well as the effect it has on him. Last year he had 16 ‘releases of semen’ which I regard as generous. Once per month is par. His penis is basically a conduit for urine. Releases are primarily for prostate health and any pleasure he gets is a bonus. Most of the pleasure is mine. I enjoy coming up with new ways to make his orgasms as meagre for him, and as entertaining for me, as possible.

But I don’t lock his cock and forget about it. On the contrary in fact. Firstly, it’s actually a pretty one and a decent ‘standard-issue’ size. John doesn’t fit the small-cocked wimp cliché at all. It’s not all veined and gnarly either. He keeps his groin totally depilated and has a tattoo where his pubic hair used to be. I love the appearance of his handsome erection jutting out when I want to tease or play with ‘my cock’.

I enjoy certain types of CBT play (nettles, hot wax, Deep Heat cream, capsaicin, ice cubes etc.) but not needles or anything like that. I’m squeamish. I never hit, punch or bruise his balls. I allow him to get an erection at least weekly, but normally 2 (or even 3) times a week after his hygienic shower. I relax in the bathtub and watch him stroke his cock for 10-15 minutes. He doesn’t get an orgasm but his muscle tissue and edging skills require regular work outs. I don’t want some monk who eventually forgets what the feeling’s like and so doesn’t miss it.

Every weekday after work, his first job is to shave his face again, before preparing our evening meal. I like him clean-shaven and smooth, just in case. One or two evenings a week, I ride his face, sometimes in front of the TV, other times with him tied spreadeagled on our bed. I only depilate my bush every two weeks so I develop a nice stubble in between groomings. Sometimes he has to go to work the next morning with a bit of a rash on his jawline. I’m a heavy ride and I grind my rough bristles against his babyface.

Sometimes before I face-sit him, I unlock his 24/7 cage and lock his spiked one on him instead. It punishes his slightest attempt to erect. I can feel the hiss of air in my crevice when a pin pricks his flesh. Of course, I like it that he enjoys licking me but that’s not the point. Our joint goal is for him to focus entirely on me and not even think about his own arousal.

Other times I unlock him and play with his cock instead, like a set of reins. I occasionally give it a good smear of Deep Heat cream to warm him up. I enjoy toying with its hard, tormented frustration. Mostly I just edge him while he gives me several orgasms with his lips and tongue.

But about once every couple of months I give him a ruined orgasm ‘reward’ while I ride his face. I know his body very well now. I can judge letting go exactly 3-5 seconds before his orgasm. His system literally has to dredge the semen up his shaft all by itself. I adore watching it twitch with effort until his semen eventually emerges, sometimes in a spurt, but other times only in blobs, if I’ve timed it exactly right.

It puddles in his belly button ready for me to feed him. When I’m feeling super-generous I only ‘half-ruin’ his orgasm. But I have no strict schedule. His hand-job orgasms are only about half of his annual ‘releases’ (I’ll come to the others later). Sometimes I might tip him over the edge twice in the same month. Other times I’ve made him wait three months. There are no rules, no ratio of my orgasms to his, anything restricting like that. It really just depends on a combination of my mood and his obedience and performance. Our regime ensures he willingly does 95pc of our housework and admin/domestic tasks to the best of his ability.

I was married before, plus I had also had about 20 partners, ranging from longish-term boyfriends to brief romances to one-nighters, so typical single woman behaviour in my 20s but I was never promiscuous. When I eventually married John, at that time I never imagined being unfaithful or cuckolding him.

On the other hand, when we did finally discuss it, I was hardly a shy wallflower or daunted by the idea of adding to my numbers. I started with an ex-boyfriend of mine, as a try out, just to get a taste. In fact, my ex was never even aware that John knew about us. He thought we were just having an ‘old time’s sake’ affair. But, of course, I kept my husband fully informed and I ensured that he got a taste too!

Adding cuckolding to our relationship has been fantastic for both of us, in our own different ways. I’d been uncomfortable with humiliation when we were just the two of us ‘playing’ together. It all felt a bit false, staged, and even silly, me pretending to ‘despise’ John when he knows I don’t. However, adding a third person, with the humiliation inherent in cuckolding, changed all that.

I knew I wanted a ‘proper’ boyfriend. I didn’t only want sex. For us it’s about intense ‘emotional SM’ and not just me fucking around. John didn’t want to have any say in who I chose. He didn’t try and impose any terms or limitations. Although I’ve never done it, we’d both like me to fuck one of his friends or colleagues some day in the future, even if that has to appear to be an ‘affair’ rather than overt ‘cuckolding’.

Steve’s nickname for me is ‘Cougar’! He’s a couple of years younger than me, and almost a decade younger than John, which adds an extra dash of humiliation. When we met Steve was going through a divorce himself and he was looking for the type of relationship that I was; ie. ‘committed and exclusive but not full time’, and long distance not local. Plus, he said he was more than happy to include and dominate John.

Sadly, it’s finally ended, after four incredible years, during which Steve visited us almost every other weekend whenever possible (he has custody of his young daughter twice a month). He became a great, and above all trusted, friend to both of us, as well as my lover, and John’s Master (“Sir”).

Covid and lockdowns obviously caused a hiatus in the middle of our time together but that was only temporary. We spent the first and third lockdowns apart, but Steve arranged to live in our household ‘bubble’ during the seven weeks of Lockdown 2. That was super-intense.

I imagine that having one exclusive boyfriend is very different to my perception of the hot-wife lifestyle of ‘casual play with random guys’ (in fact, John and I are now planning a vacation for a couple of weeks next summer to a resort where I can hopefully experience that kind of thing, just as a one-off). But, personally, I’m more emotionally and sexually suited to the former lifestyle. Steve said he’d be fine with me having protected sex (with condoms) with other guys if that’s what I wanted. But I was fine with only him. I stuck the knife in by pledging fidelity to my boyfriend in front of my husband!

There seem to us to be two sorts of ‘extreme’ relationship; (a) extreme quantity where a wife has numerous partners, and (b) the type of extreme that we indulge in, which pushes boundaries but only within our closed triangle. Genuine trust between all parties is essential to making our kind of ‘extreme’ work (a few laughs along the way are essential too).

I guess this is long enough for an intro. If people are interested, I’ll come to the cuckolding in part two.