My Story (The Road to Acceptance: Where is it heading?)

As I mentioned I gave my wife and her ex a weekend alone in their original honeymoon suite, so they could relive their honeymoon, alone together, their wedding night. I helped my wife pack for the weekend, long sexy negligee that was sheer to show off her naked body, clingy to show off her tits and nipples, a second one, short that barely covered her ass, other sexy clothes. No bra or panties. She was going to pack some but I took them out of her hands and said I did not think she would be needing them. Packed, I carried her small suitcase downstairs and put it by the front door. We waited for his arrival. I could tell my wife was nervous like a girl on a first date (amazing how such things still thrill even when there has been plenty of sex already, in this case many years of sex and even kids). I was anxious myself, restless, all kinds of thoughts running through my head. Sexual ones of course, finding myself hard. But also those misgiving thoughts, was this a mistake, would I regret it, was I opening up a door I could not shut (yes yes I already opened up a door, I know). Would I go out of my mind not knowing what was happening between them, even though I could guess. As we waited, only once did my wife ask me if I was really okay with this. I smiled and told her I was and that I wanted to give this to her, that I loved her so much, and I wanted her to enjoy herself. To give in to hers and his desires. He knocked and I went to answer the door. He was handsome as usual, smiling nervously I think, and he shook my hand. I invited him in where my wife greeted him with a kiss and a hug. I watched and then picked up her suitcase, saying they should be on there way. I handed him the suitcase, he laughed and said he doubted she would need anything in it. She gave him a love smack on the arm. Was that a giggle from my wife. I watched as he touched his hand to the small of her back, guiding her out the door. She turned to me and said I love you. I told her I loved her as I watched him touching her, his hand sliding down to her ass. As a true gentlemen, he opened the door for her, closed it when she got in, popped the trunk to put her suitcase in. Closing the trunk he looked back at me and he thanked me. I will take care of her for us he said. “For us.” He was more a part of our lives everyday and I just gave him more access. And yes I knew he would take care of her, I could swear I could see his erection in his pants. As it should be right, after all it was a recreation of their wedding. Sex happened then for sure, it was going to happen again now. I stood there, cock hard, watching him get in the car with my wife, his ex-wife, and then watched them drive off. I stood there for awhile, even after I could no longer see his car. Even though I was excited I felt sick. It came over me suddenly. I had to sit down. I found myself crying,, fuck fuck fuck, what had I done. I thought for a moment of calling my wife, telling her to turn around, come home to me, but I could not, would not do that. It was my gift and I had to let her (him) enjoy it. It was the beginning of a very emotional weekend for me.

Update: I have not yet written about the outcome of my Christmas gift to my wife and her ex because, one, I do not know what all happened and, two, I am upset about not only that but something that was said.

Late in the day on Sunday, my wife and her ex arrived home. Clearly they went to have lunch together as I know check out was at 11 am. I watched them get out of the car, her ex the perfect gentlemen (at least outside of the bedroom) open her door. My wife was smiling and she touched his arm as she straightened up getting out. He closed the door and there was his hand touching the small of her back, guiding her to the front door. I opened it to greet them and they both said hello came into the house. I hope you both had a good time I said, which he replied it was great. I leaned forward to kiss my wife and she gave me her cheek which I kissed as she come into the house. I shook his hand, feeling its warm, as I am sure my wife did all over her body. As we entered the kitchen, I asked him if he wanted a beer but he said he had to get going to pick up their kids from his parent’s house. There was an awkward silence but he turned to leave. As he walked towards the front door my wife said that she would walk him out. Brushing past me, she took his arm, leaning into him. I stayed back in the kitchen but I could clearly see and hear them. He kissed her and she clearly kissed him. When the kiss ended I could hear my wife whispering, but I could make out what she said. She told him she loved him and I heard him tell her he loved her. My heart sank, fuck, I could not believe it, but what the fuck was I expecting?? I helped them recreate their wedding night. Of course those memories were full of love (and sex).

I did not say anything and my wife went upstairs. Later I carried up her suitcase. That night as we were getting ready for bed, I asked her how it was this past weekend. She said it was fun. I asked her if she had a good time hoping for more but she just said she did. Finally I asked her if she was going to tell me anything that happened and she said “not tonight”. and got into bed. I wanted sex but I could tell that was not going to happen. I guess that made sense, she had a honeymoon with her ex, their lovemaking was still fresh. There probably was still traces of his semen in her cunt as I am sure they fucked this morning. I let it go. The next day I tried to bring up the subject, to hear about their sexual adventures, but all my wife said was she did not want to talk about it. Needless to say I was pissed and disappointed. And I could not stop thinking of them kissing by the front door and the fact they both said they loved each other.

So it has been awhile since I last posted as I am dealing with everything. Not sure where it will all lead but trying to stay positive, committed to this lifestyle and willing to learn to be accepting and supportive, not only for my wife, but her ex-husband. As I left off, my gift of a weekend away for my wife and her ex-husband to relive their wedding night did not end as I had expected and my wife’s decision not to tell me any details not only upset me but had me worried, especially after I overheard her tell him she loved him when left our house after dropping her off. Paranoia definitely set in. So it took me away to go see him to find out what I could. I had to know. As I gather my thoughts together, I will update my story.

In no particular order I will document what I found out about my wife and her ex-husband’s weekend reliving their honeymoon. I may need to stop and come back to this as I find myself getting emotional.
So my wife would not tell me what all transpired even though I asked a few times, giving her space and time. Therefore I went to see her ex. At first he did not want to tell me but I offered to suck him off if he would. He agreed and I was on my knees, taking his big cock in my mouth and when he was ready to come he held my head so I could not get his cock out of my mouth and he came in my mouth. He told me to swallow if I wanted to know everything. Without thinking about I swallowed.

Of course they fucked, several times. They took another man into their bed. A young guy who was more than happy to fuck a cunt. They told him they were married when they picked him up in the hotel bar. Her ex convinced my wife to go braless and pantyless. He said her nipples were clearly protruding through her blouse. This young guy noticed and was checking out my wife so her ex began fondling her, unbuttoning her blouse and he flashed one of my wife’s tits for him to see. Needless to say he came over to the table and ended up in their room, all were naked and he fucked my wife, bare. And fucked her twice. As much as my cock loved hearing this, my head was not handling it well.
But it got worse. He told me that he stilled loved my wife, his ex-wife, and after he had fucked her he told her he loved her, that he would love to be married to her again. I felt sick hearing this. What did my wife say, I asked. He said she said she loved him too. I still cannot believe he admitted this to me, but he told my wife that he would propose to her if she was willing. I could barely breath. Again what did she say, I needed to know. He said she said that she loved me, her husband, and would not divorce me.
Again it got worse. He told me he wanted another baby with her, even if she stayed married to me. What the fuck, was I reliving my first marriage. What did my wife say??? He said she did not answer only laughed. Fuck, fuck, fuck, what the fuck does that mean?
I really like her ex, I know I have developed a bond with him, sharing sexual experiences makes relationships more intimate. But at the moment I wanted to fucking hit him.
I cannot continue right now, sorry.

Okay, I am a wimp and emotional. I cannot help it, telling this brings back so many emotions for me. But I need to tell someone. So here he is, telling me, the husband, that he wants to impregnate my wife. And my wife says nothing, shouldn’t she have said no?? Just to laugh and not reject this idea. Does she want another baby with him? I heard her tell him she loved him after he brought her home from that weekend. What did that mean? Could just be an emotional moment for my wife, reliving their wedding night, at the same hotel, the same room. That has to be it, right?
He asked me what I was feeling and I told him I was upset, angry at him for suggesting that he knock her up. Then he asked me that question I did not want him to ask. Why did I want my wife fucked by another man?
That is the core of this entire experience. I did not know how to answer, but I tried. Maybe I did not feel I was good enough, that I was not a good lover, that I was inferior to other men. I told him that he has a much better body than me, a bigger cock, fucks better, makes my wife cum more easily than I can do. And I admitted to him that I like to see him naked, to see him aroused, his cock in my wife’s mouth (even though that still is difficult for me) his cock fucking her, knowing he is coming in her, to hear him having an orgasm.
He asked me if I thought I was gay. I know I am not gay, but I admitted that I think I am bi. He laughed and said of course I was bi, I just sucked his cock. I told him I was confused about why I wanted this cuckold lifestyle, but the thought made me horny, watching them having sex turned me on.

I hate to admit this but I ended up crying, my body shaking from my anguish. He came over to me, held me. I actually felt safe in his arms. My anger towards him was gone.

After my conversation with my wife’s ex I knew I needed to have a serious conversation with my wife. On a weekend when her kids were with him and mine were not at our house (even though that seems to be less and less) I told my wife we needed to talk. I told her I had a long conversation with her ex and I knew everything that happened that weekend. I needed to know some things from her. She agreed to answer my questions. I was nervous for what the answers could be so I started slow. Did she enjoy fucking flirting with other guys out in public like she did that weekend? Yes
Did she like being felt up and showing her tits in that bar, with the guy watching? Yes
Did she enjoy getting fucked by the young guy with her ex that weekend? Yes
I knew I had to ask the harder questions.
When her ex asked her if she would marry him again, what did she say? She said she laughed at him, that she was married to me.
If she was not married to me, would she consider it? She paused looking at me and said, yes she would have considered it (I felt like she stabbed me in the heart) but she knew it would never work out and she would have said no. (I guess that made me feel a little better.)
Does she want another baby? She said she does not know for sure, but for now, she does not.
Would she want his baby? (This was the hardest question for me to ask.) She admitted that was a hard question to answer. She has two beautiful children with him. She knows I really do not want any more kids of my own. Besides, she would prefer that another child would not be a half sibling if she had one with me.
But what if I decided I wanted a baby with her? She said if she felt like having another child and I wanted one, she would have one with me.
What about the half sibling thing? She said she loved me and if that is what we both wanted it would be okay. (It made me feel a little better but I had doubts.)
Why did she only laugh at his suggestion? Why did she not say no? This is where she paused and I could tell she was uncomfortable.
I need to know I said. Don’t be mad, she said, but it took her by surprise. Here she was naked, they had just fucked, his semen in her. They were reliving their honeymoon. There was a thrill to it, a reminder of the first time they decided to get pregnant. Did she want another baby, did she want him to impregnate her, how could that work?? She just couldn’t respond, she was in shock, so she laughed?
If he asked her now, what would she say? No
(Did I believe her? I do but do I think she could change her mind? I am not sure.)
Do you still want him fucking you, I asked? To continue to be in our sex lives? Yes
And she asked me the same, did I want to continue with him? There has been advice on here that I should end the relationship with him, that it will destroy our marriage. But inviting another man into our bed, letting him fuck my wife, doesn’t that threaten our marriage? Sex brings intimacy and emotions, especially in a long term relationship.
So I asked her if she loved him? She said yes, (that was definitely an honest answer). But she said she loved me as her husband, her life partner. She had loved him, married him, had kids with him, things she could not just forget. But the love for him was not the same as the love for me. Yes she realizes that bringing him into our bed that she did still love him and loves being fucked my him, having intimacy with him. But she wants to be with me. If I asked her to stop she would, with no regrets. Did I want this to stop?
For those who feel differently please don’t be upset, but I told her no, I did not want it to stop. I liked him, I wanted him in our lives and in our bed.

I did not join this site with the intent to share sex stories, rather to seek guidance, advice and a place to express my emotions as I thought about, acted on and pursued this lifestyle as a cuckold. However, I want to share this. With this lock down, stay at home situation we are all going through, my wife’s kids have been staying here all the time with us. My kids are with their mom and her husband. So with a house full of kids, the only sex we have been having is the marital kid. And since the situation I described about my wife and her ex, their time together, his comments about wanting to be married to her again or at least putting another baby in her, my conversation with him and ultimately the conversation my wife and I had about all of this, there has been no sex between him and my wife.
This morning my wife and I went out to the grocery store, kids left at home. I guess I had been thinking about this as I suggested to my wife as we were heading to the store that we should stop by his place. (There was obviously no need to explain why we would stop by.) I think I could tell my wife was excited by the prospect even though she was trying to be cool about it. If you want she said. It can be a surprise I said. Oh yes, her nipples were definitely hard when I glanced over at her and that made me hard.
So we arrived at his place. Unless he was running an errand he would be home and his car was there. I had her knock and I could tell he was confused, surprised, as he looked at her and then me and I could tell he looked to see if his kids were with us.
Where are the kids he asked. We explained they were home and we were going to the grocery store.
It is amazing how some situations do not need any conversation or discussion to know where they are heading.
We entered his house and I closed the door as they were kissing each other, his hands on her ass.

He grabbed her hand and lead her to the bedroom. I followed. Clothes were shed, cocks were hard, her nipples erect. I watched as he sat my wife on the edge of the bed and fed her his cock. She was sucking his cock, his hands in her hair, guiding her head onto his cock. I was rock hard, he looked over at me and smiled. Then pushing her back on the bed he got on his knees spreading her legs and went down on her. I could hear his tongue licking her, flicking it against her clit. Her body bucking, her back arching, moaning. I knew she missed sex with him. That pang of jealousy hit for a moment, but I realized my place and watched, stroking my cock.

Not long, he was straddled on top of her, his muscular hairy legs spreading her legs about. I could see that big thick cock was hard, that big head fully engorged and watched as he positioned his cock head between her cunt lips and penetrated her. She cried out, not from lack of sex, as we had fucked the night before, but from his shear size and the force of his cock diving deep inside of her. He moved slowly in her, but going deep with each penetration. They were both lost in the fucking. I am not even sure at that moment either knew I was there, naked and stroking my hard cock, horny as hell.
But eventually he looked at me and he told me to kiss her. At first I was frozen, not sure I heard correctly. But I went over to the bed and leaned down and kissed my wife while he fucked her. Instinctively I was fondling her tits, squeezing her nipples. I could feel the power of his thrusting in her body as my hands were fondling her tits. Suddenly I felt one of his hands on my shoulder and I realized he was cumming, he was grabbing onto me as he groaned and shot his cum in my wife’s cunt. And I could hear my wife cumming.
When he finally rolled off my wife and looked up at me, I knew he wanted me to take his place. I got on top of my wife and entered her fucking wet, wide open cunt. I fucked her, and when I felt his hand on my ass, I immediately shot my load. It was incredible to feel his hands on me, first when he was cumming, as if he made me part of his orgasm and again when he put his hand on my ass as I was fucking her and keeping it there as I came.
He thanked us for the surprise, said he missed being with us as we left to go do what we started out doing, going to the grocery store.
My wife was fucked by her ex, his cum in her, along with mine, as we drove to the store. Before we got out of the car my wife told me she loved me and loved the surprise, leaned over and kissed me. I would say everyone was happy today.

I understand what you and your wife are saying. Going down this path is not easy and it does question the strength of a marriage. I assume some couples are comfortable with how a cuckolding situation progresses, with the husband becoming more a life companion without the sex. I assume there can be genuine love between the husband and wife, with a life commitment, but no sexual intimacy between them. That is between the wife and her lover. I do not personally understand that and do not want that in my marriage.
We all have our kinks when it comes to sex, some more vanilla than others and some intense that others may or would question.
If my first wife had not cheated on me I would never have pursued or even thought about this lifestyle. Or if I never found out she was fucking another guy. I imagine there are wives who have fucked other men and the husbands have never found out. And yes I imagine some of those husbands are unknowingly raising another man’s kid.
We all have to live with what we create or live in ignorance of reality.
I pursued this because I needed to see another man fuck my wife, since I was totally in the dark about my first wife’s sexual activity with another man. Yes I know that thinking can be viewed as fucked up. I guess I was fucked up, still fucked up, by my experience with my first wife.
But here we are, I am a cuckold, another man fucks my new wife. It has been difficult at times. Sexually it has been satisfying, watching them fucking, seeing them both naked. And though I never thought I would want to or could even perform in front of another person,especially a guy, I love fucking my wife with him there.
I will not give up sex with my wife. I can play second fiddle to him sexually, let him be the “alpha” male.
There is some kind of connection between the three of us, emotional, sexually. Because there is history with her ex, kids, their marital sex life, there seems to be a natural bond between the three of us.
Yes there are moments of doubt, anguish, confusion, jealousy on my part. But I feel I have reached some point of acceptance. Time will tell where this all goes.

Thanks, it has its moments of pure pleasure and then self-doubt, but I am working through it.