Too Fast?

Around a year ago, after many years as a secret fantasy, I told my wife that it would turn me on if she slept with another man. She was in a jealous mood so I nervously explained to her that, far from wanting to sleep with another woman, I wanted her to sleep with another man. When we made love, I never pretended she was someone else … I pretended I was someone else. About two weeks went by with no more discussion. Then one night she told me she liked the idea, and that it turned her on. She asked if I had anyone, or any type, in mind, such as (and she said this unprompted) “a big black man”. I told her I would love it to be a black man, but that any man she was attracted to would be fine.

There followed a period of a few months that were incredibly erotic for us, and our sex life caught fire. She would tell me about black men she had seen in the gym, how she had taken to smiling at them and saying hi. There were two in particular she said were very attentive to her. She would cum like I had never seen when she was talking about these men. We started to watch interracial porn together (at her request) and bought a huge black dildo for her … she came into the shop with me to buy it.

I often asked her if she wanted to do it for real, and she said she did. We set up a profile on a swingers site looking for a black man to fulfill our fantasies, with some discreet pictures of my wife. Again, it was my wife who suggested I take these pictures. It was almost as though she was leading me. Naturally we got a lot of interest from black men on the site.

Then we got invited to a private party for white women and black men via the site. I wanted to go. My wife got cold feet, and eventually said to me that she did not want to make it a reality, that she loved me too much to cuckold me for real.

Since then our sex life has cooled again. I more or less begged her once or twice. She seems to have gone off the porn, which originally she had asked me to get. She now says that she is turned off by men who are on swinger sites, and that a proper natural seduction would be more of a turn-on.

There have been a few positive steps. She agreed that it would be exciting to go to a club, and maybe dance with a black man in front of me. We went to a very ‘black’ club, but the crowd was too young and it didn’t feel right so we left. I would still love to find a suitable club in London with a more mixed and mature crowd.

I feel as though we went too fast and burned out. My wife got scared. I am worried I may never be a cuckold, as I long to be. I would like to try and encourage steps but I have no idea what to do. Any tips, advice, or comments greatly appreciated!