Polyamory: Married & Dating
Polyamory is a reality TV show on the Showtime network which features two polyamorous relationships involving 7+ people. Polyamory is generally defined as committed, sexual relationships containing multiple partners and was the foundation for human social structure before western religions got involved in our lives.
Defintions
Polyamory differs from swinging in that swinging includes new or different partners without any commitment or relationship – swinging is primarily sexual, whereas polyamory is about the relationship(s) as well as the sex.
- A hotwife/cuckold marriage becomes polyamorous when the boyfriend becomes emotionally included in the marriage.
- Polyamory does not require bisexuality from either gender but is fairly common for the women in the lifestyle.
The Show
I had low expectation for the show as most media fails to treat alternative lifestyles very seriously, but I ended up watching several of the first season episodes back to back. There are two main characters in the form of two sets of polyamorous relationships (or ‘pods’): two couples who have been involved with each other for a while who commit to combining into one foursome, and a triad composed of a married couple and their girlfriend.
Of most interest to me is the triad; the women are both attractive, bisexual and entirely fuckable, so what’s not to like, right? Obviously, it’s more interesting (and less controversial) to the vanilla world to see a MFF situation than a MFM situation, but as with most things, the show has to find success before pushing boundaries further. My hope is they will include a MFM relationship in the next season and preferably one that is more hotwife based and less a situation of two bisexual men who happen to have a woman along for the ride (pun intended). When I’ve seen other MFM poly relationships portrayed on television, that’s what has been most often portrayed.
The first episode opens with the wife returning home from an extended absence while finishing her Masters degree, having left her husband and their girlfriend by themselves. In keeping with a polyamorous lifestyle, Lindsey, the wife, began dating a ‘lover’ while at school and while the husband and girlfriend in the triad are aware of him, they were unaware of the attachment Lindsay has for him which causes significant drama. How this drama was eventually handled was admirable from a lifestyle and personal perspective, but I found myself thinking that what the relationship seemed to lack was a rudder. Whether that rudder was one of the women or the male wouldn’t matter, but I believe someone in a clear, leadership role would greatly benefit most of these relationships.
The other ‘pod’ or foursome, has drama in the form of one of the wives having difficulties managing her jealousy regarding her husband and the other wife, yet she has a female lover she doesn’t want to share with her husband despite mutual attraction. Once more, some overt leadership would clear this up much easier than when left to their individual emotional meanderings.
While Polyamory gets things right in terms of creating multi-partner relationships that are healthy and in the spirit of how we are biologically wired to create relationships, the practice of treating it like a hippie commune leaves their relationships devoid of leadership. To truly return to the polyamory social structure most natural to us, the members of the pod must recognize one among them as their alpha and through that, reduce much of the emotional clutter that complicates their lives.
Just my two cents.
Overall, the show presents compelling characters and I will continue watching.
I love this show too. You make very interesting points, Luvr. I noticed that the triad seems to work better, and I wondered if Lindsey is kind of the leader by default. It’s subtle, and probably fragile, but it seems like the other two want to please her more.
The other “pod” clearly has issues. I thought Kamala seemed to want to be the domme, but the others aren’t necessarily buying it – her husband particularly. This is just my view of it, of course, which may be wrong. The show can’t expose all the interactions and subtle maneuvering in their relationships, and the most important conversations are probably still held in private.
As you say though, it would seem things would be much less tense for them all if there were clearly defined roles and authority.
I haven’t seen this aired in the UK, so maybe we are in for a treat someday.. I have seen some US reality shows which feature a man with several wives (or one legal wife and several girlfriends who call themselves ‘wives’). The idea of a male with several females can be found in sveral parts of the World today, and in the animal kingdom it is the norm amongst certain species. As a populace we are therefore used to the concept of an alpha male having sole access to numerous females, but not the other way around. I once asked an Omani who spoke of the possibility that one day he might have 2-3 wives why in this modern enlightened age it couldn’t work the other way. He replied that no one would know the father of any child conceived – fair point! But biology shows us that women are capable of multiple orgasms and can take many men in a single session; the notion that a single woman could cope with several ‘husbands’ makes sense if jealousy is removed from the equation. If say 3 men shared a large house, combining incomes, imagine the potential standard of living – and all would have their sexual needs fulfilled, either 1-on-1 or by grouping on her. You’re right, it would be nice to have this type of relationship aired on this sort of show, as an ‘eye-opener’ for the wider public.
Very interesting story and greater point of view,very interesting.