Truth Detector: Sacrifice

Start your reading with Truth Detector if you’re not already very familiar with the concept – you’ll be able to get back to this one from there.

The Truth Detector can be indispensable in helping him lead himself to the right decision for himself and ultimately for his evolving marriage.

Over a year ago, a husband came here knowing his marriage needed something it didn’t have and found himself afraid of his own response to what his wife needed. He was afraid his jealous past – a traditional husband ego – would never allow for such a sea-change in the marriage. Worse, he feared that his wife could never take his willingness to explore her happiness seriously given his past behavior.

His wife had shown interest in someone they met coincidentally yet despite some casual meets and intense sexual tension between them, they still hadn’t been intimate. I expected – as did he – that this was due to his expressions of traditional husband ego previously in their marriage when flirtations had occurred.

Over a few weeks I encouraged him to consider making a commitment to his wife to prove his support and determination to overcome his traditional ego. He would tell her that he would step back from claiming or expecting the traditional sexual rights of a husband and would instead support and enable her and her new guy to be sexually exclusive for their first 90 days of dating. We also talked a lot about the bonding this would create and why that’s more of a benefit than a risk.

The commitment turned out to be exactly what was needed for her to take this seriously.

Some changes came pretty swiftly after their relationship was consummated. Where her husband had previously been critical when she showed too much thigh or cleavage, he was now expected to be supportive – and was. This is likely due to the public dating that was part of their experience from the start and the opportunity for the husband to see for himself how this factor mattered, especially in public, for a dating wife and her boyfriend – and how strongly it affected his Truth Detector.

For her boyfriend it was particularly beneficial not only because of the obvious appeal of her appearance but because other white women he’d dated avoided being seen with him in public. And here she was, married and advertising their intimate, interracial relationship while someone keen observers might assume is her husband was present. Without this and the addition of the commitment it’s likely he wouldn’t have been willing – or overtly interested – in making his own commitment to the couple to learn how to be part of a marriage this way.

Three months in, dating had become common each weekend and about every other week, the cuckold was invited to bring his wife to their public date. He hadn’t yet observed their coupling but had certainly seen them as a couple. As the expiration of the 90-day commitment approached, we talked about what had changed over the 90 days he supported her boyfriend’s exclusive access to coupling with his wife.

• she had been more inclined to cuddle
• she had become more vocal about the sex with her bf
• she was more vocal about what it meant to her to date interracially
• she had been more inclined to handle her cuckold’s erection
• she had become more vocal about choosing for him
  • whether he would jerk off for her
  • whether she would edge him until she let him come
  • or whether she would not give him relief

We had already talked several times about why it wasn’t just his ability to penetrate her that needed to be restricted but also how often – or more importantly – when he would get to spurt. It wasn’t just she who was disappointed with his mood swings and his lack of attentiveness because he’d relieved himself – he was also disappointed with himself having recognized how much better things went if he could just endure and display his arousal for her – for them.

This self-realization is a huge milestone for a Truth Detector’s journey to it’s new purpose.

While we were discussing how beneficial being voluntarily chaste had been for his wife and her boyfriend – and their marriage overall – I asked him if he was fully erect. He was. It was even crying cuckold tears.

“What do you think that means then…?” I asked.

The first thing he said was that the part of him that felt drawn to the mutual attraction between his wife and this man when they first met now had a louder voice. He was also in a better place to recognize the value her choice of a male outside their own race provided and admitted that if she’d chosen another white male he probably couldn’t have let go of his traditional ego.

“Congratulations,” I told him, “you are officially evolved.”

But then I asked him what it would mean if he took this opportunity to assert a traditional husband’s right to her body.

And so he made the right choice for her, for himself, and for their bull and committed to their exclusivity for the duration of their dating relationship.

It’s now coming up on a year since since this husband’s Truth Detector began its evolutionary journey and he has been a sex-free husband for most of that time and wouldn’t change it for anything at this point – nor should he.

He is now a periodic witness to their coupling – in the marital bed as it should be.

Next up: Truth Detector: Repurposed