Returning to the husband after coupling with someone else presents significant challenges for cuckold couple initiates.
Just as cuckolds will experience a sharp rises in anxiety if they allow themselves to spurt while waiting for her, the hotwife, having achieved her climax, likely a few times, will have lots of opportunity on the way home for doubt to creep in. Even though this exact scenario may have been played out a hundred times in bed, the reality is always different than the fantasy.
The best thing for a couple experiencing homecoming for the first time is to ensure that the cuckold is waiting for her in an erect state, presented in a manner she can easily see it when she first sees him (nude). Couples, by this stage, understand the truth of the erect male and such a symbol is instant and irrefutable proof of support and desire for the wife despite and because she is returning to him as a hotwife. Wives need to consider their cuckold’s anxiety and husbands need to consider their wife’s anxiety. The wife wants to know she didn’t make a mistake – the husband wants to know what happened and is aching to have the physical attention of his hotwife. Patience, cuckold – just a little longer.
There are many variations to this ritual and each couple needs to work out what works best for them. Some couples proceed straight to the shower together where the first details of the date begin to come out. An important note for the wives is to work to overcome the urge to ‘protect’ the husband’s feelings by being vague about what happened and more importantly, how good it was. If the husband gets the sense you’re holding back, then this experience starts to feel like something that’s come between you rather than one shared between you. It will take time to learn to be candid and descriptive about the boyfriend and the experiences enjoyed with him, but making the effort is important. Wives tend to be very shy about their body when they return home. Her body and even hair may still contain traces of her boyfriend’s semen. Her neck, breasts and even thighs might be marked from his sucking and nibbling. Most of all, her sex will be wet, swollen and obviously exercised – a sight she may be very anxious about her husband seeing.
It’s critical for a wife to understand that while she was likely very sated during her evening, her cuckold has been anxious, erect and somewhat insecure for hours and is in need of her attention. It’s not uncommon for wives to be exhausted both physically and mentally by this process, but it’s critical they reserve or find the energy to at least provide minimal feedback to the cuckold. Often the wife will be a bit tender from her coupling due to her new boyfriend’s size and/or stamina. This precludes the cuckold from what he would like most: being inside his hotwife. What should NOT happen is a situation where the cuckold has to masturbate himself apart from his wife’s interaction. By this I mean that after such a monumental event in their marriage and having been encouraged and supported in taking someone else inside her, the least the hotwife can do is participate in giving her cuckold the attention and relief he has earned.
In such an excited state often all it takes is a few words of encouragement and a bit of stimulation to the glans and it’s all over. Over time a couple can work out more detail for homecoming. Preferably the couple will move to welcoming her boyfriend into the home and marital bed where the cuckold can witness the coupling or at least be nearby and overhear his wife’s passion. In such cases, the process of ‘homecoming’ is still present because the wife transitions at some point from being her boyfriend’s girlfriend to being her husband’s hotwife once the bf leaves.
There are endless variations to this process and many variables that influence them, but the bottom line is the couple need to manage their expectations and work together to ensure vulnerable moments in their cuckolding become rewarding and memorable ones.
Some of the anxiety can be much the same as that felt if you have a daughter going on her first date. You have a natural instinct that you should be there to protect them in case things go wrong or they are hurt. Then there is the relief when the wife returns home to you safe and content. You want to know more, but a play b play recounting is not classy. A little hint of the upshot of the experience is the least that could be offered. A hotwife should always offer the best things – to her – about the date. Don’t make thins up but reveal the keys to your fun through a woman;s lens. You came so hard hard you lost control and thought you’d pass out. Exhausted and drenched -mingled sweat, he took you again in the shower. The long deep kissing before or after. Then here is the circumstantial evidence – dried cum in her hair or on her leg; an accidentally torn dress; the randomly falling and seemingly endless supply of black man’s pubic hairs in her clothes, in the bed sheets, etc. Unspoken subtle reminder realities can be among the most exciting of them all.
Many years ago my wife and I first began to explore our sexuality…embarking upon the swinging scene. We had played with a few people..mainly friends whom we both knew and always with each other present. She became very friendly with a fella on ICQ..they were both very much into music and they chatted on ICQ constantly and also on the phone. So much so that his number was the one most called on the phone bill..which made me laugh as I paid it.
They would have cyber sex on the PC and I would often find her playing with her self as they chatted. I admit this excited me a little..but it was all played out in fantasy land and not reality. I remember telling her to meet him for real and she couldn’t believe what I was saying..I pushed her to arrange it..telling her that I would take her and she could spend the night with him.
The day came and I watched her pack her special lingerie..the ones normally reserved for me and the first doubts started to creep in..what was I doing? I drove her to his town..he lived in Nottingham we live in Stoke a distance of some 50 miles. When I parked the car I saw him sitting waiting and I went over and shook his hand. Taller than me and a good looking guy. My Anna came over nervously and they hugged and kissed and I instantly wanted this to end….but it couldn’t..it was too late. As I watched them drive away my emotions were in turmoil and I felt jealous..angry and I was physically sick..what the hell had I done?
The rest of the day and afternoon went by and my wife not being with me was like a huge chasm in my life. Then evening came and I sat alone the children in bed. What was happening? What were they doing? What the hell were we doing? I was crying..I was in pain..angry..betrayed..twisted inside..I was an emotional wreck. I ended up going to bed early..and crying myself to sleep thinking of what my wife was doing.
The following day I returned to Nottingham to collect my wife and picked up flowers for her on the way…as I parked up I watched as she got out of the car and they hugged and kissed…and I knew she had slept with this man. She got into my car and immediately she knew something was wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen..I was supposed to have been ok..I wasn’t. I held her and told her how much I loved her..how much it hurt…even though it was I who had initiated they meet. She was in my arms now..she was mine….but the worst was yet to come. When we went to our bedroom to change I watched as she undressed, knowing that another man had touched my wife..intimately..sexually and I was shaking as she removed her clothing…I almost broke down as I looked upon her and saw that he had bitten her all over her body..there were dozens of love bites on her neck..on her breasts..and all around her sex..I was broken. She hugged me and told me she loved me and would never do anything like this again.
That was some ten years ago..and since then we have explored our swinging life more and more..We love going to clubs where my wonderful wife has been with countless other men..she even played the greedy girl for my birthday where she had over 30 guys use her all night as I watched on..and it was fantastic. I also love to play and can perform very well ..indeed I perform even better when being watched. But there was always something missing…it was great fun…pure unadulterated filthy dirty sexy fun..but just..well..anonymous. No emotions..and it is the emotional side that I missed.
I realised that the overwhelming feelings that I had experienced..the inner turmoil and angst that I felt that day were what was missing…infact I craved them..I needed them..because I realised that I was a cuckold. I am a cuckold.
I didn’t realise that the inner angst..the powerful emotions inside were normal..and they were there to be enjoyed..not feared..not despised…as a cuckolded husband I need my wife to be with other men..with a lover..intimately..alone..together..that I want her to have feelings for the other man and enjoy his attentions..whilst I experience the powerful overwhelming emotions that only a cuckold can. Jealousy..anxiety..betrayal..pain..confusion..love..and excitement as my wife exercises her right to be pleasured by others. She enjoys the experience of other..better lovers whilst knowing that her cuckold is home thinking of her..in emotional turmoil..with a raging erection waiting for her to return….and the fact that she denies me..laughs at my erection and teases me…adds another powerful emotion and aspect to our marriage..frustration..and I have to admit that I also enjoy the denial..it’s cruel and torturous and drives me crazy. She can orgasm as many times as she likes…and she lets me know that she does..especially if I am present…where I have to listen and remain denied..my erection painfully left to subside,,maybe with some edging before hand…and I love it!!
Waiting for my wife to return from a date with her lover is one of the most amazing feelings experienced by me as a cuckold..and I don’t fear it now..infact I look forward to it..The feelings experienced by a cuckolded husband are like nothing I have ever felt..and I welcome them and enjoy them..as my wife enjoys her lovers..
The hottest times my wife and I have ever had together were during the homecomings, when she told me about the power of sex with her boyfriends while she released with me her hands.
And some of my deepest regrets have to do with the times I didn’t meet the challenges of the homecoming with the right attitude of love and reassurance for her.
It is very humbling to find traces of semen on Emma. It is also very humbling to find traces of dried semen in our bed, bedroom and in her laundry as well. I do the laundry at home so I often find semen on the back and front of Em’s blouses and skirts, on bras and in her knickers. It can be quite confronting to just do laundry. I just observe and perform the laundry (usually with an erection).
Although humbling and confronting, I think it would be no different in a traditional marriage or any other adult relationship or couple’s household to find semen on the woman or the couple’s clothing and belongings. It is typical of a healthy and active adult relationship. Except within our cuckold marriage, the semen found on Emma or in our home is not mine. Humbling, but liberating. It certainly changes what is “allowed” within marriage.
Even before cuckolding, I’ve had never gotten my semen in Emma’s hair. We never explored open orgasms or cum play as a couple. I thought that is what happened only in those blue movies. I always thought that within a long-term relationship, sperm should only be ejaculated in one place and I felt uncomfortable ejaculating anywhere else except in Em. (Hence, the guilt that surrounds masturbation.) I also guess it was my way of remaining respectful toward our marriage, which is clearly what she was not seeking from a partner. I am coming to understand that this type of partner respect is probably unnecessary for a fulfilling and honest adult relationship between two intimate adults. I guess giggling about his sperm in Emma’s hair nowadays, is liberating for her and indicative of the adult activity that she desires in her relationships with others which inspires my own imagination of what else goes on.
Having the liberty to orgasm on to my wife kind of claims her as his sexual partner and his girlfriend so finding traces of his semen is part of our life as a married couple. Emma knows the effect it has on me so there’s no need to protect my feelings about their level of intimacy. I accept it as normal female/male behaviour.
One thing that I has always intrigued me is how shy Emma’s becomes about her body after having sex or coming home from a date. I guess it is the switch from being a girlfriend to returning back to the family home to be a wife and mother. They are two different realities that needs time to adjust. Two different parts of our marriage that Em meshes together.
If it is early enough and our son is not asleep yet, our son and I are always so happy to welcome Emma back home after dating. I love seeing Emma and our son cuddle each other. I love seeing the joy between them, the relief in Em’s face and the glow in Em’s skin. I usually become overwhelmed and join them in the cuddle. It is only then that I begin to be aware of the scent of her boyfriend on her. It’s a scent I find so much comfort in and over time and subconsciously, our son will as well.
Luvr, this is so well thought out and written.
Every cuckold couple and boyfriend should read it. You stress a process that mitigates the anxiety all can feel at one time or another. And the anxiety can be learned to be needless anxiety with the right communication and attention to one another.
There were times when Syd didn’t show me the attention i sorely needed after an event (whether a coffee meeting or a playful meeting), and i told her i really needed her reassurances.
Now, so keen is Syd on the importance of those reassurances, we regularly reassure one another before she meets with her boyfriend and after. Yes, i reassure her too, as Luvr mentions. Sometimes the reassurances start the day before.
And, from my experience, when i receive these reassurances, i feel loved and more able to want her pleasure when this happens.
You might read a post on our blog which describes a time when the reassurances didn’t happen – http://mywifeandmistress.blogspot.com/2014/03/six-month-anniversary-new-bulldominant.html
Thanks again Luvr for your brilliant insights which so help this lifestyle.
As my wife and I discuss this exploration more and more, the “Homecoming” is what takes center stage. We are really looking forward to her coming home after her encounter.