Is love a bad thing?

If the love between the wife and her cuckold husband is strong enough, I don’t think he should be worried if she fell in love with her bull also.

That depends on several things:
Whether the wife dates several bulls or has just one – If she dates several bulls, presumably, that is a defense against emotional entanglements. And if she falls in love despite those precautions, it could be trouble. After all, she has fallen for one over the others, and possibly over hubby as well. But if she dates just one (as my wife J does), it is natural (and inevitable) that this intimacy will blossom into love for him, too. That’s why we are able to live this lifestyle: she is able to love two very different men for different reasons and in different ways.

Whether you and your partner can adjust to the reality of this kind of (at least somewhat) poly form of relationship. What may start out as an edgy sexual fantasy needs to evolve into an understanding of love and sex—where they overlap and where they diverge—as well as an honest acceptance and eagerness to fulfill each other’s needs. And, in time, perhaps extending that eagerness and acceptance to fulfilling the needs (and fantasies) of the boyfriend or bull.

That last part is what J and I are working on these days…

In my opinion: no, it’s not a bad thing. But it depends a lot on how the man handles jealousy too…because love and jealousy can be flip sides of the same coin.

Personally, I’ve always thought that women have an amazing capacity for love; one that is far different from how men deal with love. That makes it easy for women to love more than one man and still maintain a necessary separation between the men.

In our case, as I’ve watched my wife in her relationships with all the other men who’ve seen her over the years, I noticed that while she often had several men with whom her relationship was simply about sex, she almost always also had one with whom she developed a deeper friendship, and more intimacy. I realized that while she needed the raw sex with most of her men, she also needed that emotional connection with a man. Interestingly, that emotional connection in now way displaced OUR emotional connection…that continued strong and stable and loving, in spite of the other man.

From the beginning, I’d always told my wife that she was free to see any man she wanted, free to see as many men as she wanted, and that I was fine with it if she wanted to take a lover or lovers as well. I think it took a long time for her to accept that last part…because of her fear of my possible jealousy. Her previous husband had shared her, but he was a jealous, controlling type, and I think she found it hard to accept that I wouldn’t be also.

But I’d done my stint, as a young adult, with jealousy. I’d realized how quickly and insidiously it corrupts relationships, and I’d decided I’d ban it from my life, and I did. Once my wife became convinced that I was not a jealous person, and that I meant what I said about her taking a lover, she opened up about her need for an emotional connection to create the real satisfaction she was looking for.

From that point, it wasn’t long before she found and took a lover…and now she freely admits she’s in love with him. She still sees other men for purely sexual pleasure, but has made it clear that she and her lover don’t “just fuck” as she does with the other men…she and her lover make love.

Personally, I find her relationship with her lover intensely arousing. While I love watching or hearing about her fun with one of her fuck buddies, nothing turns me on more than the look in her eyes and on her face when she’s going to see her lover…or the glow about her when she’s been with him.

Bottom line: For us, her being in love with him isn’t a bad thing. But it requires a very stable, open and honest relationship, and no jealousy at all, to make it work.

I agree w @pixwellguy here. women have a different capacity for love. one that has space for more than one man.

Agreed that it is not a bad thing for wives to fall in love with bulls. This wife prefers something like that and prefers that he is just with me and MAYBE one other girl (I am bi after all).

I just had conversations with my wife and her new BF on this topic over the past two days. My wife and I both want more than just a fuck buddy and, from my perspective, the closer she is to another man, the most intense the cuckolding. I NEVER want to lose my wife. However, she has the capacity to love others and our relationship is so strong and we communicate so well, that we can handle this level.

My wife is experiencing both … pure lust and love. With her current two with one she is with him pure sexually and the others she has a deeper connection with.

But as we are into this lifestyle now for about 5 years she wants to find herself an “extra man”. In het opinion one who combines both aspects …. lust and love. As the idea does scare me a bit it also arouses me a lot. Michelle says that when she has found the right candidate her “extra man” she wants him to stay over regularly. Therefore she wants to redo our extra bedroom and make it their love nest

I always enjoy to watch when she allows me to. But to see her ‘in love’ and ‘in lust’ for the same person will be a new chapter in my acceptance of being her cuckold. Till now our love has deepend as there is nothing more beautiful than to see your wife in sexual bliss. To know, or when allowed to watch, her experience the lust balanced with love will make me a happy cuckold and I will show my devotion by licking her after she had sex and we often cuddle so I can caress and kiss every square inch of her body.

I look forward to love and serve while she is happily served and in love!

Women are fundamentally different than men in regard to love. Women are creatures of love and have the capacity to love multiple men at the same time while loving them differently. Men, on the other hand, may lust for multiple women, but aren’t likely to love more than one at a time.

Love, or the bond it represents, isn’t a threat to the marriage unless a couple allows it to be. Many things can be allowed to come between a couple in this experience and emotion is only one of them.