Being #2

Yes, you should position yourself to be #2 sexually, but decide where you can position yourself as #1 non-sexually. You don’t provide much information for anyone to give you help beyond something just general like I just did.

Are you the submissive in the relationship? Does her boyfriend live with you? Is there anyone else who lives with you (children, etc)? Are you a sissy? Who controls what in this relationship? Is your wife dominate with you? Is her boyfriend a Dom?

Include anything else that will help us to help you better.

Gracie

Gracie is right on you will be second sexually . all females having sexual relations with a man tend to form emotional bonds and. attachments . this can lead to feeling displacement etc but good communication. . open chat ,honesty etc nearly always finds a way past the initial shock of having your partner seeing somebody else as number one when with them.
much also depends on time spent with her etc. openly dating ? sleeping with etc other at tour or his etc no set of rules to follow as everybody different but do ensure you make it clear you love and support her.

When I get involved with a couple, I insist on mutual trust, mutual respect, and open communication, so regardless of who brought up the idea of cuckolding, your wife and her new bf, need to respect your feelings and concerns, and you MUST make her aware of these concerns.

There is always a NRE (new relationship energy) that she will feel for the first couple of months, since he is new and yummy, but then someone, either you, or her bf (if he behaves like Me), will bring her down to earth, and make sure that everyone is on the same page, so that this cuck relationship (either with this guy, or another bull/Dom) will last….and more importantly, your marriage will last as well.

In my opinion, in her sexual life, you are #2 in many other aspects of her life you are #1.
If we had the ability to be #1 in our wives sex life then she wouldn’t need a boyfriend.
Greg, my wife’s boyfriend is #1 in many ways, not just sexually, I like it that way, I know how deeply she loves him and also how deeply she loves me and I don’t ever feel threatened by that.
Christy and I have a deep loving relationship but, he is the Alpha male and I accept that he should be #1 to her.

I agree.
In this lifestyle, the husband does become secondary to the boyfriend. It makes complete sense that way. It makes for a more fitting and appropriate setting. In a way, the marriage is very one sided. You are devoted to her 100%, but she is not devoted to you 100%. Whatever amount of devotion my wife gives me, is all that she can give me, and I am grateful for it no matter what. And it has been quite amazing and beautiful to witness her develop feelings for her boyfriend.
If you would like to read my experience so far, here you go.
Experiment: Pt. 1

Experiment: Pt. 2

Experiment: Pt. 3

And I think it’s important for a cuckold to watch his wife perform and fall in love with another man. It helps him and his wife’s bond grow stronger.

Also, in my opinion, cuckolds need to know that their wife will never “make love” to them. Even if she still has sex with him, it is not “love-making”. Nor will it ever be love-making. It will only be love making with her bf exclusively. This helps a cuckold know that even though his world revolves around his wife – her world doesn’t revolve around him.

There is a healthy rapport, and a healthy relationship that is built when a cuckold witnesses his wife’s devotion and love towards another man. I know my husband loves seeing it in my eyes, whether out in public, casually, or in private. The bond between a husband and wife will always grow stronger in the lifestyle. It should anyway. However, the bf’s is stronger. And a wife should always make it apparent that she loves her bf and is very devoted to him.

My husband is great and amazing. He loves and trusts me, and I trust and love him very much and I will never leave him. And I believe that a marriage should never be in jeopardy. However, regardless of how much I love my husband, and how much he may mean to me, it really doesn’t compare to how devoted I am to my bf, and the things I will do for him. It is very natural.

Hello,
I agree too the bf is no.1 and the wife should and most of the times give her 100% attention and devotion to him. The husband is there to support his wife and love her with all his heart as always.

Well said, happycuckoldress, I completely agree. I have watched my wife fall completely in love with her boyfriend and it is a beautiful thing. I know that he is and always will be #1 to her and I expect and accept that. My role is to support her 100% and I always will do and be there for her. She has a much deeper and different bond with her boyfriend than she has with me, after all, she is intimate with him. He is her #1 and always will be.

Through our cuckold marriage we have grown to recognise that a true cuckold marriage (for us) is one where love and emotion are expressed openly, freely and honestly. I must accept intellectual reality that for her to truly enjoy being a Cuckoldress that he may become number one sexually and emotionally with time, me the cuck husband forming a crucial place in her life, the cornerstone of the marriage, her expression and her happiness. Calm acceptance and support is necessary and it is the cuckold angst that must be managed to provide it for her. Loving your wife so deeply may mean accepting her need for self expression and love with another. I now embrace that because she is all I have and her happiness is paramount to me. It is extremely scary, it does hurt but the truth often does.

I’ve advised a few couples on this question, especially as the cuck sometimes prevails on ME to help THEM (e.g. “please, she’s forgetting about me and loves you, can’t you… do something”), which I always find amusing.

I tell them – and I think this applies here – that they are being fundamentally self-centered in focusing on this issue of whether they are #1 or #2, regardless of whether it’s sexual or not.

What is important in a female-led cuck relationship is that SHE is #1. You as a cuck need to remember that AT ALL TIMES. Whether you are #1 or #2 is not even a question that should enter your mind. You are whatever she regards you, however it suits her, whenever it suits her.

Focus on HER and her desires and preferences and pleasure. If she chooses to see me, her bull, or any other men, that is her prerogative. If she chooses to spend time with you because you care for her and provide her with love and affection when her bull is off doing other things or other women, that is her choice. You will be comfortable and at peace once you realize that it’s NOT ABOUT YOU, it’s about her and making her #1.

When I am with a cuck’s wife, I make her my #1 at that time. I do my best to give her the ultimate sexual pleasure that a man can give a woman. If she wants me to fill her and breed her, I do that. If she wants me to take a break and let her cuck try to fuck her, I do that. If she wants me to make her cuck clean off my cock or feminize him by fucking him, I do that. Neither of us gives a thought to what her cuck wants because at ALL times, he should be making her HIS #1 and thinking about nothing else. That’s your answer to this question.

This is the entire root of why women look to bulls – because it’s not about how he can dominate her, it’s because when they are together she feels like she’s his #1. I may be using her solely for my pleasure, but while I’m doing so she knows that I’m consumed with lust for her body, reveling in her. She doesn’t get this sense from her cuck, who is weak, self-centered, and focuses on himself even when he supposedly says he doesn’t.

I couldn’t agree more with the above statement. In a cuckold relationship, the wife’s happiness is all that matters. It is the cuck’s responsibility to make sure the wife is taken care of, non sexually. He is there for emotional support, to love her, encourage her to do what makes her happiest. Again HER happiness is what matters.

Cuckolding isn’t about the husband, It’s all about the wife. The cuck may benefit from seeing the other men naked and erect. And the cuckold may benefit from a happier wife, but it is always because of the wife that the cuck is happy or sad. And the sadness of the cuck, that is on the cuck. I can understand if the cuck is sad because his wife isn’t having sex with other men, but if she is having sex with other men, there is no reason why the cuck shouldn’t be happy.

The wife is always #1. That’s the way it is. The cuck gets what he deserves. and that is decided on by the wife. If you’re unhappy, and your wife is having sex with other men, that is your problem, not your wife’s or the men she is having sex with.

Wait….what? If my husband ever displayed or even intimated some of the self-deprecating flagellation I read in so many comments, I would dump our chick-friend in a flash. It is unlikely I could find another guy any more endowed and passionately skilled as him either; and he knows it! So for some reason I’m finding almost uncomfortable to read so much “Beta Male” self-evaluation. I’ve never overtly compared my husband of 35 years to any of the 30+ guys and almost equal number of girls I/we have experienced; but sub-consciously, I can tell from the initial kisses and touching from girls – and the engaging tongue & mouth work and deep-purposeful and knowledgeable thrusts, that the experience will be or is worth it.

I enjoy playing with and fucking other attractive men; not for the erotic show for my husband, but for every second of sensual friction and skin contact that helps me orgasm every time. Even though I know he’s watching, I get lost in my partner-of-the-moment and I think of no one else but the cock inside me or the the body part upon which I have my mouth. My husband will fuck me after the first cock, but I’m the one who stops him from “playing the cuck” and doing any kind of “clean-up” with his mouth in front of another man. He offers, but I feel a man eating another man’s cum in front of him forces him to completely surrender his masculinity. The same goes for fluffing or “giving a handy” to help the other guy get hard. I’m just not into seeing my “Alpha” husband with another man’s dick in his mouth!

We have bedded other couples and solo males where the other guy has gone down on me and/or their wives after my husband has cum inside me or their wife. I don’t interfere with their fun, style and practices; but even though the other wives have tried to do a quick “Surprise! I’m going to sit on or straddle your face” move, I’m the one who usually tells them “that’s not our thing.” I don’t really like it when he has gone down me after his own when we’re alone. My husband definitely wears the pants in our relationship and I would never do anything without his consent even though I’ve had plenty of opportunities.

One evening a fellow teacher invited me to her place in Laguna Beach to enjoy homemade pizza on the pool deck. My husband was working until 2:00 a.m. After some wine and pizza, our conversation turned to sex, fantasies and her favorite adult movie “Dinner Party” went into the poolside DVD and splashed across a very loud and bright huge TV. I was afraid some peeky neighbor kid would see it! About 10 minutes into the movie she asked me if I’d ever been with a girl. When I told her I had, her face lit up. She told me she wanted to have a girl go down on her but she didn’t want to make out with another girl or eat another girl. Basically – all the fun and pleasure, without any of the work. Then she told me she was “all wet and super horny.” I burst her bubble by telling her I couldn’t play without my husband; even though I really wanted to! She walked into the house and I figured her disappointment would be the damper on the evening.

I just watched the movie and drank more wine. A few minutes later I heard her walk up behind me. I jumped when felt her hands slide up my waist and then she slid her fingers under my boobs and out they came! She was still behind me with my boobs in her hands when I said, “Well, this is unexpected.” She leaned over and said, “Please eat me, I really to try it – and I know I can trust you. It’ll be just our secret; your husband won’t know.” I was offended at that but before I could say anything, she moved around in front of me. She was totally naked and from her well groomed landing-strip it was obvious it was all planned out. Trouble was – I really wanted to do it! I said: “Let me call my husband, OK?” That ended things when she said: “Barb, [your husband] s a control freak. Why are you so submissive and afraid of him?” That was the end and I walked out. She barely acknowledges me now.

I’m not afraid of him. He’s my husband and I respect him. I get all the sex I want and 35 year later we still do something sexually fun almost every night. Finding safe trustworthy couples or singles to play has become very difficult after the demise of CraigsList, so it’s mainly our close friends or a few guys we trust. No cuckolding here! I ask for what I want or someone calls me. I decide who and he says yes or no. If he’s not feeling it but I am, he falls asleep in front of the TV while I get to use the guest room. That’s for another time. Stop selling your confidence and manhood short!
Barbara
O.C. CAL