Reply To: WIFE WRITING 4: LOVING YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUR BF

I don’t see that you have to make it a “more” thing. I think it is a “different” set of feelings. The bf seeming “more” might come from it being more exciting and physically satisfying – we need deep touching. But who do you spend more time with? I think it is the Hubby except maybe for a few rare live-in situations.
My sub says she could never give me up… but I recognize that what I fill in her life is not enough for a full life. She needs her hubby and she needs her family. I’m there for the (play) domination, sex, physical touch and exciting activities – bird watching, hiking, sailing, canoeing, more sex. But he provides stability, support, financial / economic security, cultural activities (ok both of us do that), habit, family support and general comfort. We both fill different aspects of what makes her a whole person and without either she would be unhappy.