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Beth
I am not sure whether I should be posting this here as I am unattached and most of this seems to be geared toward people who are already married or in long term relationships getting into cuckolding within that context. This still seemed like the most appropriate place for my question. I feel like I should share a bit of background on me so that my question has some context.
I’ve tried monogamous relationships, one of them very long term. The sex, although sometimes satisfying, was never with enough frequency or variety to keep me happy. I found myself frustrated and resenting him a lot even though I really cared for him. Friends told me my standards were unrealistic when I complained and I felt guilty for “wanting too much” out of sex. It always seemed to come down to making a choice: either you could have love or you could have great sex.
This relationship inevitably ended and a short time later I met someone else who (seemed) to have the perfect answer. We got along great on a personal level. He was extremely sexually submissive, which I loved. He allowed me to do all sorts of things to him that I had never even contemplated before, and which now I couldn’t imagine not having. Most interestingly, he encouraged me to seek out other men to have sex with while I denied him. I was uncertain at first, but he begged me and reassured me over and over.
I started seeing some old lovers who were much more well-endowed and sexually aggressive. I loved paying him late night visits where I would briefly allow him into my stretched holes right after an encounter so he could feel the difference, and then not allowing him to finish when I told him how I couldn’t feel him. Sometimes I would gift him my dirty panties. Things like that.
Anyway, it seemed to be going great. We still got along well and both said we had really begun to feel a connection and care for each other. He’d continue to beg me for these things and encourage me, but then would have bouts of complaining and telling me how unfair it was and that he should be able to see other women as well. Long story short, we parted ways without hard feelings.
Although it didn’t work out, I just can’t imagine going back to a regular vanilla relationship after this. What was had seemed so natural and like such a perfect arrangement. It is difficult to find like-minded people, though, so I figured I would come here and ask if anyone has had similar experiences. Has anyone here started out intending to have a cuckolding relationship from the get-go? Did it work out? Anecdotes or advice would be very nice. 🙂
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matmagic99
That was refreshing to read a single woman's perspective. Sounds like you were really having a fun time, enjoying all the fruits of the cuckold relationship. Too bad it ended for you. My wife and I are considering this lifestyle and I, quite frankly, wonder if I can keep it under wraps or do like your last partner did, which would be to unfairly want it both ways. In other words, give in to jealousies involved when not in the direct moments of the sensual cuckolding activities. However, this isn't about me. It's about you. It would seem to me that there are many submissive men out there who are wanting a hotwife(hotgirlfriend) for a cuckolding lifestyle. You should, perhaps, answer some ads, meet in a safe place and interview them. Perhaps take a friend along for security (but admittedly, that is delicate situation). Then if you find someone who you want to go to the next step with, do so. Sound too simple?
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matmagic99
Does anyone else ever post on this site? Hopefully, you can handle the math problem below.
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Beth
Well, I'm not sure it's as simple as that. I have talked to some people over the last few months, and have found that a lot of people are just in it for the fantasy and sexual excitement, which isn't healthy. I guess what I'm really wondering is whether something that starts out this way has any real potential of working out long term or if anyone has any experience with it working out that way.
I think you will have an easier time than the man I mentioned did because you are doing it within the context of a pre-established loving relationship, especially if it's something you've been considering so long and not just something you beg for when you're turned on like I realize now that he did. I do hope things do work out for you and you're wife and that you both find fulfillment as you move forward.
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matmagic99
Thanks Beth. Good luck to you, as well. I'm reminded that, as wild as some of this is, it is just people out here, struggling to find their way, just as it is anyplace else. Perhaps, then, you'd be better off taking the patient approach and just try to find a nice guy, and if you are really lucky, a guy who is susceptible to what you would prefer. Or who could influence you to change the way you feel, based on your experience with him. One question, in your post you said some people are just in this (I assume you meant cuckolding) for the fantasy or sexual excitement, which you said, isn't good. Are you saying that you are in it for other reasons? I'm asking, because I've kind of fantasied (but have gotten no real agreement) that the cuckolding lifestyle could lead to spiritual or personal growth. Are you implying that, or that people are the way they are and just need different things?
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Beth
Yes, I am saying that I'm in it for other reasons. What I meant is that some people aren't really prepared for everything that goes along with the sexual aspects of cuckolding. They think of it more of a sexual act or of getting to be a voyeur without realizing what else it entails, so they'll want it when they're really turned on and fantasizing even though they are not prepared emotionally. I'm not sure if I'm explaining that right.
I think you are right and can definitely experience growth from cuckolding. For me, I've never felt as connected to anybody as I did when I would come to him after being with someone else and he would show me that he still wanted me, maybe even more than before. It's hard to explain, but I really feel like there was something deep there in that kind of acceptance while it lasted. I can't speak to what he experienced, but I think he felt it too, at least at first before his insecurity and jealousy took over. I don't think people need different things per se, but I do think people are ready for or able to handle different things. I highly doubt that I'll ever change the way I feel, as you say. I'm convinced cuckolding is the ideal lifestyle.
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matmagic99
Wow. Just when I'm feeling nice and strong and can either take or leave this notion, you turn my legs to jelly. Your description of your cuck's acceptance of you while you reclaimed his love after being sexed up by your lover was so tenderly described, that it made me yearn for that kind of love all the more. That's what I have been fantasizing for a long time as to how I could show the love of my life that I want her to be fulfilled in whatever way she needs or wants. That seems like a higher love, in many ways. You're the best Beth.
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Beth
Aw thanks. 🙂 It definitely is a higher love, and for you to give that to her freely will only make her love you more. I feel like a lot of women (at least I know it to be true in my case) are made to feel ashamed for wanting too much sexually. It’s hard when you fear that the man in your life might think you don’t love him because you need more than he can give you. You feel guilty for even wanting it and try to convince yourself that you don’t want more. But to be with someone who not only accepts that but encourages you to fulfill those needs and puts aside his own pride to make you happy… I can’t think of a higher love than that. You can’t help loving that person more. I can’t help but think that for someone in your situation that bond would only be more powerful.
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matmagic99
Well said. I guess you continue your pursuit of the rare love you seek….or change….or settle. I have hinted that I am open to a more expansive love life on my wife's part, but either I was conveniently vague or she is not ready to pursue it. We are very much in love after 27 years and I am not beset with a small member and our love life is rich in fantasy. Sometimes I think I should leave well enough alone. We cannot unring a bell once it has rung. Well anyway,it will be from a position of strength that we discuss this, which is always nice. Too bad we can't live in different dimensions simultaneously. It would be nice being your little cuck and live out that old song “You(I) would be so nice to come home to”. Have a great day Beth, Mat.
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Beth
matmagic99
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