Reply To: Advice on getting started

Chad,
Your issues aren’t uncommon. The end result of both of you being submissive is the chaos you find yourselves in sexually. The good news is you have self-diagnosed the issue whereas many couples never do. Better still, you have found a likely path to correcting this void in your relationship (leadership), and are looking for ways to take those first steps.

Chief among those first steps has to be finding a way to engage in more direct conversations about this topic with her while playing up the fact that this is a result of your personalities and human evolution and not individual failings by either of you.

Getting into more specifics at this point won’t help you much because to get any traction, she at least needs a basic perspective on why/how your relationship would only be complete for both of you by including another male to provide at least a catalyst and ultimately, some leadership. How you get there is something you have to figure out since you’re the one who knows her. My suggestion is to treat it like an ‘everyone is doing this now’ idea and share my site and other reality based blogs with her to show her you two are not alone in this struggle or in how you propose to resolve it.