Home discussion Lifestyle Discussions Getting Started Advice on getting started and where to find bulls

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    • #32079
      Michigancpl

        After years of me having this fantasy and over a year of my wife being aware of it and us slowly fantasizing more and more about it together, this last few weeks she has finally agreed to put herself out there and have sex with a man if she meets one she likes. She recently joined a gym and has been going there by herself while our kids are in school but she’s shy and hasn’t met anyone who she wanted to proposition yet, but she likes the idea of meeting someone in real life and “cheating” instead of online. I want her to do what makes her comfortable and not rush into anything but a LTR with a bull is what we ultimately think we want (although the idea still make my stomach churn… but in a good way) and a normal guy might not be fully up to the task. With an experienced bull online we could test for STDs before doing anything but a more “spontaneous” sexual encounter seems the most sexy at least for the first time (but that’s why she wants to me a “regular” guy at the gym or some place rather than a seedy bar).

        What is your experience and what have you had the most luck with?

      • #32083
        Luvr

          Welcome, @michigancpl

          The gym is typically a pretty good social hub to meet and flirt – it just comes down to the membership there and whether a better/different set of men would be better than where she is now.

          The most important element for her now is to work on being an available woman again after years of being seen more as someone’s wife/mother. This includes how she dresses and behaves. It can be helpful to walk her through scenarios of how she would respond in situations where she has the interest to flirt or the opportunity to return flirtation.

          What does she say when asked if she’s married?

          • my husband is the married one
          • yes, but dating is fun
          • yes, but he knows what I’m up to

          When the opportunity is there, she should encourage or even ask someone she likes out for coffee/lunch/something as a first, casual date. A casual date, while not intimate, is still very exciting and helps her establish chemistry with someone.

          First dates should never include sex, whether a casual date or now something more than casual – and she should be up front about this when dates are arranged. This ensures the guy isn’t just looking for the one and done.

        • #32089
          Michigancpl

            Thank you for the response, Luvr! This is good advice especially about going on a non-sexual date first. I will show this to my wife. This is a great site by the way.

          • #32110
            Michigancpl

              Update: wife has said she is taking it slow and just enjoying having guys look at her now and knowing she is free to have sex with them. She has talked to some guys who approached her but felt too awkward and embarrassed to show much interest back on her part or ask them out and instead told them she was married and not interested, but she enjoys the attention and thinks she is slowly becoming bolder as she discretely scouts for guys that especially catch her attention. I am impatient and horny but fully respect my wife’s desires to go at her own pace.

            • #32921
              slaveofwife

                This is such a brilliant idea.
                We have a newly opened gym where I live and I’ll encourage my wife to do the same too.

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