Home discussion Lifestyle Discussions Getting Started Finally Told My Wife, She is hurt by what I said

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    • #22691
      FunTimeToo

        My wife and I are both in our late 40’s and have been married since we were in our early 20’s. She has always been on the prude side and I am the only guy that she has ever slept with. Our sex life for most of our marriage has been nice but never adventurous (mostly because of her not wanting to try stuff). In the past few years she has slowly become less uptight in the bedroom and things in that department really improved as has our communication about sex. Encouraged by seeing how things are getting better between us I stared to hint about the cuckold fantasies that I have held for many years. She reacted much better than I though at some of the hints that I was giving her (shared dreams about her flirting with random guys at a bar or about her having a one night stand). She started to give what I considered to be positive feedback such as light bedroom talk about her doing other guys and telling me about guys that she thought were good looking. She even got me going once when I was having problems performing by telling me that if I didn’t solve the issue she would find someone else to finish the job (which of course instantly worked) Based on these “signs” I finally worked up the courage to tell her that this is a real fantasy for me. She was very upset and told me that this is wrong. She also questioned if this was just a ploy for me to have sex with other women, which it is not. She told me to erase this idea from my head and gave me the silent treatment for a few days after telling me that she was very hurt by my fantasy because it makes her feel dirty, like a slut, and unwanted. I feel like I may have pushed it too far but am still a very confused about the signs that she gave me before. Part of me thinks that she needs time to process the fact that I would want this to happen, yet another part of me thinks that I should never mention this to her again. Would appreciate any insight or advice from someone (hotwife or cuck) who had a similar reaction. Thanks!!

      • #22698
        MatureMUK

          she was probably thinking it Was simple role play .not expecting a real desire to emerge. yes. many will and do think its a rejection of them and possibly an excuse to bed other women.
          hard to get past initial shock for many wive whom put up barriers. not talking openly. is not ideal for long term relationships.
          ideally you need a wife whom has found herself in same situation but gone on from that to chat to her.answer questions etc.
          that is not going to be easy to find!

        • #22707
          FunTimeToo

            Thanks for your reply MatureMUK. You are probably right, she didn’t mind the role play but didn’t expect me to ask that it become a reality. I am aware that many men come here or to similar websites to live out a fantasy but this is real life example of how it doesn’t always translate when one actually tries it in real life. I love my wife very much so finding a different wife who is open to this fantasy is not an option. It has only been a few days and she seems to be over her initial reaction of being hurt or mad. We have talked around the subject but not directly about it (if that makes any sense). A part of me is still hoping that she is processing and am hoping that her curiosity will lead her to want a conversation about it. At this point I am honestly afraid to bring it up. I feel that if this is to happen I should allow her the time and space to settle her thoughts around the subject. What do you folks think?

          • #22708
            Anonymous

              I was checking your profile, to find out more things about you two, but nothing found. I understand both of you are in your late 40’s and this is really a nice age. I think you are wise enough and your marriage is secure enough so you can speak freely with your wife In my opinion, no any wife will ever accept from the beginning that she enjoy having better sex with another guy, or feeling as a slut doing this, but as it said , in any woman is a hidden slut. In my opinion , you have to provoke her to an honest discussion, and explain her clearly, that you are not interested in having sex with another woman, and only because you love her very much, you want her to have the best sex possible. And as long as she is happy and satisfied, you will be VERY happy, and very excited. You may be surprised at her reaction, if she will understand how serious you are, and that you speak from your heart. But, as I said, is just an opinion. Best of luck.

            • #22709
              MatureMUK

                surprised no more offering input. not an easy place to be as emotive and can and will affect relationships. many wives given time .opportunity can cuck a husband if right man comes along . you will often see women doing so if a man is famous.powerful etc a these are very high turn on’s. some men go for enter live with no rules while others get supposed months or even years down the line with a sudden sexual awaking by wife.
                since you have. let cat out of bag we can only deal with what we find occurs as she digest it or set it aside in her mind for now. she will not forget!
                many can once given that idea of free to have another man without ramifications slowly. change attitudes a drop inhibitions to play with thought. and in some cases but not all, decide to dip toe in water.
                here is where having her meet.chat to lot’s of men and ideal contact physically such as dancing..can offer best potential for you. encourage her to go swimming .dancing lessons.gym even evening classes. do tell her se looks fit .sexy and attractive. all females need that feeling they are wanted. by suggesting she goes with another man we have in a way rejected her… feeling that ” how can you love me” will surface. all needs to be dealt with as it merges. constantly reassure her you adore her. flowers now and again etc surprise events ? theatre etc. where she has. an interest. we want her to realise you do in fact love her deep even if we are ‘flawed’ in that we. would be happy for her to find a better man in bed now and again.

              • #22798
                Anonymous

                  Take your time. Do not push her. Women need security and stability and to know they are loved and desired. We had been together for over 20 years when I first brought it up. We had always had a FML but the when I first brought up her taking a lover for her sexual satisfaction she got pissed at me and thought I wanted another woman. Even though I had developed ED problems and knew I was no longer satisfying her the way she deserved it still took a few years of talking and role playing and her finally meeting a man she was attracted to and who let it be known he was attracted to her, before she finally asked if I was serious and wanted to give it a try to see how we both would react to her actually dating another man.

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