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KeyholderK.
KeyholderK.-
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Gary
Hello all,
Just joined today because I was curious and wanted to ask. My wife and I embarked down the path of cuckold and more recently FLR and we are both enjoying it a whole lot.
I was curious though because in reading many of the posts here it seems that in several situations the wife is just taking advantage of the husband. Is this just role play or an actual part of the dynamic? (Genuine desire to understand)
I ask because my wife and I have always been sexually adventurous (swinging since before we got married almost 20 years ago) and have always enjoyed a varied and active sex life. We entered into this world after meeting some poly friends and then discussing / exploring the possibility of us meeting others individually (i.e. going more open). It soon became apparent that whilst I got a kick out of her doing it, it made her feel very unsafe / uncomfortable. This led us into the world of wife sharing (lots of MFM) which we enjoyed along side swinging for the better part of the last 2 years.
More recently though we started playing with sub/dom as we found that she enjoys a more dom role and I particularly enjoy her being dom (and just her!) being submissive to her specifically is super sexy (anyone else trying it would turn me off, except maybe a bull whom we both liked/respected). I love her implicitly and trust her with my life, we are very much life partners. Anyway, we decided to start focusing more on the sub/dom/cuckolding side of things, lots more male visitors, swinger parties became gangbangs (I love these too 🙂 ) and over time as we grew more comfortable she started asserting more control. Recently, having read a book on FLR and running it by her we opted to switch to this too (about 2 months back) and a couple weeks back we ordered up a cage.
The difference for us is this is very much a joint venture and whilst we both are very sincere in our roles and I have genuinely started submitting to her will entirely we both know that at any time either of us could choose to end it.
I guess why I am confused is that for us it has been a hugely enriching experience, getting to know and explore and understand my wife as a loving dominant whilst getting to explore and understand submission has been a hugely enriching experience for both of us. I also love the fact that I have genuinely become a better husband (and I am pretty sure she is too). We actually hold the utmost respect for each other and the whole experience is really something that we have both been able to grow and develop with. Honestly, it’s amazing!
Hence, when I hear people sounding coerced / forced / manipulated I am a bit confused. Is this all part of the roleplay or is it just a different dynamic?
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KeyholderK
It sounds to me like you have a wonderful relationship, and you’re doing it right! It’s hard to say how others practice this lifestyle, but I believe it is very much a yin and yang kind of thing where both partners’ very different needs are met. My husband – outside of our relationship – is anything but a beta male. He’s a gladiator who’s at the pinnacle of his profession. The “forced” or “coerced” aspect for us is mostly role play. He can’t give himself permission to be submissive without knowing that’s what I desire from him. Really – the coercion is as much for him as it is for me. And while I do enjoy pushing/testing his limits, I would never go to something that would threaten our relationship or his well-being. Like any good marriage, our relationship is so much more than just the sex. I also think cuckolding is a relationship magnifier: if your love is solid, your lines of communication are wide open, you both can solve problems and compromise – cuckolding will enhance that. Likewise, if the relationship is on the rocks, cuckolding will just speed the trip to its undoing.
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Gary
KeyholderK
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